Rachel wrote yesterday that her dog Cindy, a Yellow Lab, died after cancer surgery six months ago, and she is still struggling to get through the day. She hasn’t told anyone at work about her suffering, because she thinks they would think she was foolish. “I can’t work, I can’t sleep, I am very depressed and don’t want to go out much. I feel I have to hide it, because people will say ‘it’s only a dog.’ But I am devastated.
Animal grieving is serious and painful, and there is, in fact, little acknowledgment or discussion about it. People like Rachel simply do not know what to do. And she is having trouble getting past it, showing many of the clinical signs of severe depression and post-traumatic stress.
I’m not a shrink. Perhaps people suffering so much over animal loss are victims of trauma. Perhaps they are also suffering the extreme disconnection in our money-obsessed, techno-pressured, media bombarded culture. It is difficult in our very insecure society to lose a deep source of reliable and unconditional love and companionship.
I receive many messages from people grieving their animals – too many to read, let alone count. I might argue that we need more perspective about the loss of animals, who do not, in fact, live long, but that doesn’t ease anybody’s pain and suffering. It is clear that animals are more and more being grieved as if they were humans. Perspective and sympathy are not necessarily connected to one another, nor does one cancel out the other.
Many psychologists and social workers are coming to see animal grieving as a serious psychological issue for many people, some of whom are acting out deep loss and trauma issues triggered by the loss of a pet. Mostly, what I see and feel is that this is a growing and very real problem for animal lovers, and many need some help.
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On March 26, my daughter Emma and I will be making a joint father-daughter book appearance at the Red Fox Bookstore in Glens Falls, N.Y. Emma will be talking about her new book “90 per cent of the game is half mental” and I will be offering a sneak reading preview of a bit of “Rose In A Storm,” my new novel coming out in October. 7 p.m.
