9 December

Love and Grief. Come In, Lord, Come In.

by Jon Katz
Love and Grief. Life and Death

 

There is a point in life where death ceases to be an abstract thing that happens to unfortunate and older people, but becomes something that is closer than many other things, and not really abstract at all. That is a turning point in life, I think, and you can think about it and learn about it, or you can get your pills and diapers and senior discounts and run and hide from it and get blindsided when it comes.  This is not morbid for me. In a way thinking about death is thinking about life, and how one wants to live. Perhaps this is why I became a hospice volunteer a few years ago, and just finished a three month tour for a book about grieving for animals.

If you have animals, you will learn about grief and loss soon enough, and I’ve had a lot of animals and learned a lot about it.

What have I learned?

Grief and love are twins, connected to one another without boundary, equal and haunting beautiful parts of the same whole. Life does not exist without death, and grief does no exist without love. You grieve what you love, and grief is a process with its own mind, sometimes. I have learned that grieving is critical, purifying, cleansing, like death, not something to be avoided or denied.

And always, always, right next to grief is the beautiful reality of love, two of our most powerful emotions locked in an eternal dance with one another. Because you will never see one without the other right behind it.

What have I learned?

Grief is love, and love is grief. Just as there is no light without darkness, there is no love without loss. And although this seems to often catch us by surprise, it is one of the unalterable truths, I have come to believe.

 “Come In, Lord.”

“Beautiful is the new snow falling in the yard and the fox who is staring boldly

up the path, to the door. And still I believe you will come, Lord: you will, when I speak to the fox,

the sparrow, the lost dog, the shivering sea-goose, know that really I am speaking to you

whenever I say, as I do all morning and afternoon: Come in, come in.”

– Mary Oliver, “Making The House Ready For The Lord.”

9 December

Rose In The Pole Barn. Passion for a farm.

by Jon Katz
Rose In The Pole Barn

 

In the morning, Rose sits up in the Pole Barn, looking out from her favorite vantage point at the point. The sheep are gone, but she can look out over the barns and the valley, and she never tires of her view of the farm, always updating her map of the farm, I think. Her legs have been stiff lately, so we put her sheepskin rug up underneath her. Sometimes she shivers from the cold, but she never wants to come in. Rose does not waver from her work, ever.

Congratulations to my friend, the writer Jenna Woginrich of Cold Antler Farm, whose lovely new novel “Barnheart” has been picked as a red hot recommended new book by IndieNext. She is in some elegant company. “Barnheart” is cheap and very engaging – about a young woman’s absurd and successful passion to own a farm – and is also available signed and personalized from Battenkill Books. If you have ever dreamed of getting a farm, this is how it can happen. Jenna and I are tearing up the joint for Christmas. Hop aboard this train. 518 677 2515.

9 December

Mystical Chickens

by Jon Katz
Mystical Chickens

 

Chickens mesmerize me sometimes, simple and elemental creatures who are astonishingly efficient and vulnerable. Almost every large living thing will eat or kill them and they are moving all day to eat bugs, worms, mysterious things. I love their shapes and symmetry together, a ballet.

9 December

Rose. Ben. Tree

by Jon Katz
Rose. Ben. Tree

 

Rose and Ben Osterhaudt have a lot in common.  Both are working creatures, hardy, determined and undeterrable. Ben is a good friend, a mountain of a man who is strong, honest, competent. Two big trees blew down on the path and Ben came over with  his buzzsaw and  cleared them all up in a few hours. It is almost frightening to see Ben’s strength – he was tossing these huge logs around all day, puffing on a cigarette now and then, without gloves or a coat. But that’s Ben.

He has been an elemental figure in my life on the farm, before and after Maria. He worked on the house, the barns, the water, the roof, the grounds. He is awesome and appreciated. Rose loves Ben, not surprisingly, and we walked out into the woods to visit him today. They connect. People like me cannot live in the country on farms by myself. I need people like Ben to survive, but our friendship has made the relationship all the more powerful. I don’t make too many moves without Ben.

9 December

“Going Home” Winding Down

by Jon Katz
Last Stop

“Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die” was published the first week in October. The tour ends tomorrow at 2 p.m. at Northshire Bookstore, Manchester Center, Vt., where I will sign books for people who want to buy them as Christmas gifts for themselves, friends and family, vets, shelters and rescue groups The tour was emotional, powerful, rewarding. The reviews for the book were very generous, and I have heard from people all over the world that the book is helpful to them. A good thing for a writer to hear.

The tour had so many twists and turns. It was not depressing, quite the opposite. I saw firsthand how much people love their pets and how deep a loss it is when they go. I loved working with many of you to present the collaborative “Going Home” video which has had nearly 70,000 views on You Tube. I loved traveling through the Midwest, going through Vermont and watching Lisa Sullivan restore Bartleby’s Books in Wilmington. I am also delighted beyond words at the success of the Battenkill Books campaign, in which my local bookstore has sold more than 800 copies of “Going Home,” and we are heading for 1,000 by New Year’s (518 677-2515). I am also eagerly awaiting publication of my next book “Dancing Dogs,” my first fictional short story collection, a fun, different and offbeat kind of book, and a distinct contrast to “Going Home.”

Anyway, think of Battenkill Books if you have need of more copies for Christmas. I will probably make another appearance in the store next week to take orders and calls as we make the final push for 1,000 and make some more noise for independent bookstores, creativity and individualism.

Buy local, if you can. Support independent businesses. A number of people are ordering copies for their vets, local shelters and rescue groups. I will be tickled to go and personalize those books and this campaign gives a complete and rich dimension to “Going Home.” Couple of weeks to Christmas, and Battenkill has Paypal.Thanks for your wonderful support for this book, and for my life here on Bedlam Farm. Quite a trip, yes? And not quite over yet.

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