Went up to the top of the hill with Maria – we saw the fox's den right behind the chairs we sit in. Looked out over our beautiful farm. Maria asked me if I was feeling sad about leaving, and I am. The farm has meant to much to me – us – and I experienced so much there. Seven books. Rose, Izzy. Lenore and Pearl, Clementine and Orson. Cows, sheep, lambing, a movie, a divorce, the blog, photography and most of all, Maria. A lot to go through, more than I could list here.
I am not a person who spends much time looking back. I do not feel comfortable with nostalgia, always a trap. Other lives, other times, always seem better to us than our own. I am eager to move to our new place, our new farm, our first place together. I sense my time here is done. But yes, I am sad, and I cannot imagine ever living in so beautiful and evocative and stirring a place as Bedlam Farm. I am eager to meet the the lucky people who want to buy the farm and live here. I have a picture of them in my mine and am very curious to see if it is correct. I feel them coming, close.