I think working creatures know one another. Border collies tend to attract working types of both sexes. Red loves Ben, and Ben who is normally undistractable in his work, loves dogs in general and Red in particular. Red was visiting Ben as he finished up the spackling on the living room in the New Bedlam Farm. I’m putting up a photo album of Ben working in this very beautiful light.
Red is getting back to work, slowly but enthusiastically. He is back in form, running well and without any discomfort. We are working in short bursts, once a day.
Watching him has also reminded me to watch myself. The move and its attendant anxieties and challenges has brought back my scary voice in the night telling me we won’t survive this, nobody will buy Bedlam Farm, I will run out of money before we even get a chance to live there.
So I am getting to apply many of the things I learned in my recent explorations of fear and spirituality.
– Be careful what goes in. I am keenly aware of meditating, staying away from endless bad news, and people relaying endless bad news.
– I am working hard. To conserve money, to raise money, to spend money wisely. I do not believe money comes from imagining it or thinking loving things about it and I am thinking about how to pull off of this off. That will get me up at 3 a.m.
– One day at a time. The thing with fear, I think, is not to go backwards or forwards. Often, I blame myself for taking too many risks, for not doing what mature people always do – save money, be cautious, downsize, downsize. I believe that there is no risk too great for a meaningful life, and if I ever have to sacrifice my life for anything, that would be a worthy cause.
But there is this. Like Red, I need to go one day at a time. I am good now, I am fine now. My books have never been better received and I have never been prouder of them. I love my blog, my photos. I love my wife and my life. I love my dogs and my donkeys, my friends and my farms, new and old.
Can you have more wealth than that? I must remember, as Thoreau urged, to not adapt the values of the world I left behind. Security, fear and a smallness about life. So stay with me. We will get there.
Me and Maria. Me and Red. Me and Simon. Me and you.
There’s a new mama in my life and she is not like my mama and she lives and works down the road from our new farm. We had our first meal at “Mama’s” last night, just outside of Cambridge, N.Y. on Route 22 and we met Louise Fairbanks, the new owner and sat in a roomy booth not too far from our new house. Maybe I’ll ride Simon down there one day.
There is a spacious and comfortable bar and music on weekends, and quiet, roomy tables and booths offering seafood, good burgers and to our happy surprise, a vegetarian menu. I had the turkey wrap, Maria had the roast vegetable wrap. I am always a bit wary of roadhouse restaurants, but not this one. I asked Louise if I could come in and photography “Mama’s” from time and on music nights (weekends) and she shrugged, smiled and said sure. I love the big old bar, it brought back a lot of fine memories of my spicier days. I plan to go there on cold winter nights and brood.
This is just one of those very comfortable, friendly places and we had good meals and drinks for just over $30. We just connected to the place. Louise spotted me walking in the day, and said, “hi, Jon Katz” – we had never met, and not another word.
In the next chapter of my life, I am hoping to broaden the blog a bit – still focusing on the farm and the dogs and animals – but also on the people and places in our new lives. I definitely want to know more about Louise, the new “mama” in my life. We are also delighted to have a good place to eat so close by.
In the new farm, we will be more in the world, and I like that. I need that right now.
