Day: September 16, 2012

Today, in all humility, I offer gifts to you.

The gift of light, an image of beauty and timelessness.

The gift of love. I found it and offer you a piece of it, to take and share.

The gift of stories. To touch your heart and made you laugh and sometimes cry.

The gift of peace. Fear is a space to cross, a geography. It is not the reality of your life.

The gift of perspective. I offer you my experiences in the world. My many mistakes, flaws,

difficulties. My successes, defeats, setbacks, disappointments, accomplishments lessons.

The gift of imperfection. We are, none of us perfect and the gift of acceptance is

perhaps the most important gift I can try to have and share.

The gift of tolerance. Anger is a poison, it corrodes the giver and receiver. My gift to you

is this: if it angers you, do not talk to it, do not listen to it, do not watch it. Do not give it to others or put it on them.

Like fear, anger will gobble up your soul like a potato chip and spit it right out. It is a virus.

And thank you for the gifts you give me daily. Your stories. Your love and support. Your annoying

messages of concern and alarm. The gifts we share.

Your search with me for a better and more meaningful life.

Your determination

for a better way.

Your love of animals and story-telling and bookstores. Your wish for honesty and the sharing of lives,

points of connection in a sometimes disconnected world.

Your gift of hearing my stories, buying them reading them,  listening to me fumble through life,

your patience at my many faults and flaws.

Your gift of loving my photographs, of thanking me for them, of appreciate them, of giving me the fuel

to take them and make them better. I take them for you, you love them for me.

A day of gifts. I offer you mine, I thank you for yours.

I looked out the window this morning and I saw Fall, and wanted to share a slice of it with you. I have a friend, Pam White, who is a very gifted artist, a photographer, a blogger, an insight coach and a dear friend and I have been turning to her lately for help in sorting through the pressures and tensions of moving, waiting to sell Bedlam Farm, and four books coming out at the same time. We talk on the phone – I pay her for her time – and she is coming up soon to photograph me and Red. I agreed, a bit to my surprise. She is warm, funny, direct and very insightful.   This time is a test for me, a challenge, from sleeping to money to making good decisions. How far have I come with fear? How good are my decisions? How can I stay strong and focused and do my work well?

It is so important to me to know when to ask for help, when to listen. A spiritual journey is never done, one is never there, but always on the way, always a work in progress. And Pam is one of those magical helpers who appears at the right time. This is a seminal time for me, and friendship takes on a particular hue. You really do find out who your friends are, and they really matter.

I am touched, surprised by her concern for me. She seems to know when I need help, and seems to be there. She really cares and wants to help – I so rarely feel that – and she has guided me into more meaningful meditation with concrete advice, and we talk a lot about keeping the center strong in the face of change and challenge. She is very much like me, which is wonderful and jarring and this is perhaps why she knows my mind so well. She offered me the most powerful insight the other day, suggesting that my work on the new farm with Maria was a mirror, a reflection of me, inside-outside. As we are painting, cleaning, discovering the beauty and character of our new home, so am I working to do these things for myself. Maria also, I believe, although she can speak for herself.

The process of moving in our new home – selling the old – is a reflection of me, Pam inspired me to see,  a mirror of me. What I wish for the new home is what I wish for me. To have the junk thrown out, to come back to life and love, to get some fresh paint and good and new ideas, to live a simple life, be restored in a creative, colorful and meaningful way. To live together in love with my wonderful partner in life.

A part of this process is inside, a part of it is outside. This is an important revelation for me, and the truth of it struck home. This is why I was so drawn to the New Bedlam Farm, am so determined to get there and live there. It is a reflection of me, a joining of the inside and outside, into one thing. I thank Pam for that. This has helped me to see  my life in an important way.

At the Indian Lake  bargain hunters, two dogs in a stroller eyed things for sale. Their owner swear that they barn when they see a good bargain. I didn’t see that, but somehow, I believe it. I loved the stroller.