7 January

On The Meditation Walk, Cont. Love And Money

by Jon Katz
On The Meditation Walk, Cont.
On The Meditation Walk, Cont.

On the walk, Red moves ahead, turning to keep an eye on me. On the walk, I keep my eye on him, it centers me, on this long winding road up a hill near our farmhouse. I love this road, love walking on it. I hope to do this every day, sometimes with Red, sometimes alone. I was thinking on my walk that although I worry about things like money, I sometimes forger that I found the most difficult thing in the world to find, the thing i always wanted my whole life but could never have. Love. Lots of people have money, but few have found true love. So I got the thing I almost wanted, and in a place I would never have expected to find it.

Love is more important to me than money, but money is important too. It is the currency of our world, the way we get what we need. I always told myself – every day of my life – that I wanted love. But I never told myself I wanted money. Is there a lesson in that?

7 January

Writer’s Life. Some Days The Bear Gets You

by Jon Katz

Writer's Life

When I began writing, my first editor warned me that there would be ups and downs. “Some days you get the bear,” she said, “some days the bear gets you.” In my nearly 30 years as a professional writer, I’ve written 23 books and too many columns and and articles and posts to count. On the Internet, everybody is a published author, and the ether is crammed with words, ideas, opinions and messages. No one can keep track of it.  I have no illusions that my work will stand out in the vast digital archives of the future, up in the Cloud and out into the universe. I love what I do, but history suggests that I am part of a dying, or at least radically evolving, breed.

Still, I can never express my gratitude for my life as a writer, meaningful and satisfying beyond measure, for all the rejection, confusion, and just plain hard work. Somebody asked me the other day if I had plenty of money, would I ever think of retiring? No, I said. No trouble answering that. No even on a day like today. Today, the bear got me.

I don’t believe in writer’s block and am rarely stumped, but this month I have taken on a difficult thing, and I am mightily struggling with it. I am writing the story of me and Simon, and I have chosen to try and tell at least part of the story through Simon’s eyes, and in his own words. For someone who argues all the time against putting words in the mouths of animals, this is a challenge. Beyond that, it is a challenge to give voice and personality to a donkey. My editor is understandably wary of this effort, my agent thinks it’s a great idea.  I am determined to try it. I want it to be great. There is a rich trove of donkey-human literature and I want to add to it. I’ll offer a few chapters and we will see what happens. The book opens with Simon being rescued on the farm where he nearly perished.

Sometimes I think I always have to take the most complicated route.

For five days now, I have been wrestling with the first chapter. I pride myself on structure and forward motion, but I am bogged down a bit. Tossing in too much donkey history. A friend who read my chapter said it was all over the place. Maria said Simon’s voice is stiff. An editor friend said she is glad it is a struggle, it would be weird if such an ambitious effort popped out the first time. I am spoiled, she said, used to just cranking my books out. I sit staring at the monitor. Go out and visit Simon. Walk the dogs. Circle the room. Meditate. Brood and complain, stir in the night. I want to call out for help, but there is really nobody to call. I have to figure it out.

I really like this idea. I really want to make it work. I have to change my habits, take my time, think and feel it. This is not something i have often had to do. Perhaps it is about time. Tomorrow, I hope to get up early. I hope to get the bear.

7 January

From Garbage Scraps, a Heart Potholder for Valentine’s Day. From Maria.

by Jon Katz
For Valentine's Day, a Heart Potholder
For Valentine’s Day, a Heart Potholder

My former girlfriend went into her Studio today hinting at some secret new project she was working on. As always, she wouldn’t tell me what it was, as she is a superstitious and hot-tempered Sicilian woman desperate her image as a sweet and quiet person. A few minutes ago, she came into the farmhouse and asked me what I thought of her first Valentine’s Day Potholder idea, a heart made of scraps pulled out from the garbage. I loved this very much and grabbed my camera. To catch the light behind it and keep it from bleaching out, I enhanced the red and the yellow in Aperture, just a bit. (I wouldn’t have mentioned this, but Maria is very honest, and believes in transparency. I am a corner cutter.)

This is one of the simplest and most beautiful potholders she has made I think, from her heart to mine and yours. Maria has reinvented the potholder. She is working on a Valentine’s Day Potholder series, and you can check them all out yourself on her website. I had to scoop her on this one, it was just a beautiful thing to see and photograph. Knowing her, she will rush over to the Studio and put it up quickly on her site. Believe me, she understands about love and you can see that in her potholder. I love that it was patched together from garbage scraps, as that so often happens with the heart. It happened to mine.

7 January

Donkey Plotting: Scheming Against Me

by Jon Katz
Donkey Plotting
Donkey Plotting

Maybe I’m getting paranoid, but I think the donkey’s are plotting against me, seeking revenge for applying two rolls of chicken wire to the barn wall they were busy eating. I rush out to the barn to try and catch them in the act of mischief. So far it has gone well, but I have lived with donkeys for a long time and generally, I acknowledge they are smarter than me, much more patient and much more methodical. They are hanging around the chicken wire, studying it, considering it, maybe plotting their next move. Will they chew the wire off? Gnaw on another part of the barn? Eat the grain pans? We found a traffic cone lying by the side of the road near our home and we put that out along with three pieces of firewood. That might hold them a bit. They are laughing at me, I know it, chuckling. I am watching them.

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