Day: March 3, 2013

Getting started on pages.

It is difficult to leave my dogs, even for one day. I feel sharp pangs of concern and guilt. Will they miss me? Will they be okay? Will they eat? Eliminate? How powerful these feelings are, even as I know they have nothing much to do with dogs, they are all mostly projections, echoes and habits from my own life, my own need. They are about my emotions, not the dogs. Dogs are not aware of the passage of time. They don’t know the difference, really, between a trip to the dentist or a day away in Vermont. Once they are used to it, they can occupy themselves quite well.

I believe separation anxiety to be almost entirely a projection of human concerns and anxieties, and a happy boon for the drug companies – 350,000 dogs in America are now on Prozac as anxious humans transfer their neuroses to them.  Capitalism is a perfect storm of its own. This anxiety seems to have been unknown in the animal world until people could buy medications for it. Many people suffer all kinds of anxieties and emotions when it comes to leaving their dogs.  Me, too. How do I deal with it?

I first of all recognize that this concern is about me, not them. For thousands of years, people have left their dogs without problems. They would just laugh at us. We have a pet and home sitter the dogs love and know well. There has never been a problem of any kind when I have left my dogs.  They’ve always been happy and healthy when we go, when we come.

They’ve been happy in kennels, at home, staying with friends. Dogs are not like us. They are adaptable and accepting, resilient and flexible. If I don’t make a big deal out of it, they don’t learn to. Just look at the Katrina dogs. People tell me all the time how much dogs grieve for people and other dogs, but I meet happy Katrina dogs every day. They don’t seem to know how unhappy they are supposed to be, and I’ve never heard of one pining away for Louisiana.

I have never had a dog with separation anxiety. I have had separation anxiety. But I don’t put it on them.  If anyone needs Prozac, it is me. When we take the suitcases out, the dogs are transformed. They do know we are leaving. They hover. They want to come. On the last trip, I called Bailey, our pet sitter, from the road. I told Maria as we were leaving that the dogs seemed worried anxious. What about sweet Lenore, where will she sleep? Will Frieda eat her? And poor Red, so strange and attached.

Bailey answered right away. We had been gone for an hour. Oh, she said, Lenore and Frieda were playing in the yard. Red was asleep in her lap.  Frieda was dozing on her feet. She gave each of them a treat as we left and they had a good time crunching away. We don’t call Bailey anymore. If something is wrong, she knows where to find us.

How do I leave a dog? Often and comfortably. I don’t want them with me – us – all the time. We are close, but I want to be able to go places without them. Separation is sometimes healthy.  They are lucky dogs with good lives. It is very healthy for them to be happy when we are gone, and for me to be happy also.