Fall comes in whispers, not roars, and I heard it whispering to me today on our afternoon walk, it is showing up in the trees, on the ground, in the October Light. Tonight, nightshirts and closed windows, tomorrow a fire I imagine. The changing seasons tell me where I am in life.
I’ve started two men’s groups in my life, and both were wonderful and short-lived. Men (including me) put a lot of things ahead of friendship and communication, they are reluctant to support and encourage one another as some of us work hard and struggle to be better lovers, spouses, friends and residents of Mother Earth. Men have never really had a movement and need one. They have many issues with work, connection and identity.
Women have learned to talk open about their struggles for equality, dignity and safety, men have not. I’ve had remarkable success helping to create two Open Groups At Bedlam Farm, The Open Group for arts and creativity, the group for loving animals. More than 1,500 are on these two groups, sharing their ideas, images, blogs, words and paintings.
So I’m in an ambitious mood. I want to try a Men’s Group At Bedlam Farm. An online community of men, a digital men’s group.
I want to see if I can have some success at attracting a small group of men who are committed to the idea of mentoring, encouraging and supporting one another as we struggle with our own issues. It is not easy being a woman in the world, it is not easy being a man either. Men do not have a rich history of doing this, this will require patience and commitment, I’m not sure if it will work. But I really want to try it, I’m on a roll with my blog and social media pages.
I fear for men sometimes, it seems to me they are destroying the world with wars, genocides, religious conflict, economic and environmental destruction. Whenever I look at the news from Washington I see men at their worst, mired in argument, conflict, cruelty and posturing. Most male-run corporations are no better. I am working to do better in my life, I want to talk to other men who feel the same way.
The group will not be large, but it is open to anyone who clicks on the light bulb icon on the groups list on my Facebook Home Page. The group is called “Men’s Group At Bedlam Farm.” Our discussions will not be available to anyone but us (although there is little real confidentially on Facebook). And the group will obviously not compete with or distract with the other groups, which are thriving.
So far one rule: no arguments or hostility. Hostile men will be banned instantly and for good. Angry comments will not be permitted or tolerate. If you are a male committed to talking about how to be a good man just click on the light bulb and you will automatically be listed as applying.
We drove by Brown’s Orchard and Pumpkin Stand in Castleton, Vt. We didn’t buy any pumpkins, (we did get apples, a good crop this year) but the light was spectacular, sunlight alternating with driving rain, beautiful clouds, and I took some photos. Short album on Facebook. My eye caught two women choosing their pumpkins.
In one of our new and increasingly cherished rituals, Maria and I drove to Brandon, Vt. today to the Maple View Farms where the wool from our sheep are cleaned and spun and woven into skeins and rovings. Maria is selling both on her website this week, I don’t think it will take long (she has a lot of pre-orders already). Zelda’s roving came out beautifully, and the sheep’s wool seems to have matured in color. Maria and the people at the mill were very happy with it.
Our sheep are getting shorn again next month – we are doing it twice a year now. We are also thinking about lambing in the Spring, bringing a ram here in December, which would give us lambs in April or May.
Our drive to Brandon has become a ritual in its own, we stop for lunch in town at the Cafe Provence and then drive out to the fiber mill. Red and the alpacas stare at each other in disbelief, then we head home with the wool, Maria’s head spinning with shipping, cost and distribution issues. This is one of the reasons we love being here, we love our life here.
All over rural America, towns are paving over dirt and country roads. Asphalt is easier to maintain, they say and less expensive. They don’t say that when roads are paved, there is generally twice as much traffic going twice as fast. In Vermont, one of the few states to have studied the elimination of dirt roads, the state found asphalt is twice as expensive to maintain, not cheaper at all.
In seems in this country now, the ideology is to simply always do what is cheaper – cut librarians in schools, cut art programs, expand classroom sizes, eliminate neighborhood schools, outsource jobs, lay people off, pave over country roads. There is something especially beautiful and restful about country roads. I respect and appreciate ours. When my neighbors ask me why I don’t like paved roads, I urge them to go to Northern New Jersey and smell the air and listen to the noise. There are no dirt roads there.
