13 January

Meeting Jesse In New York: A Dire Time, A Timeless Connection

by Jon Katz
In Dire Times, A Timeless Connection
In Dire Times, A Timeless Connection

Jesse Dailey, the subject of my 2001 book “Geeks: How Two Lost Boys Rode The Internet Out Of Idaho,” met me and Maria Thursday in New York for lunch. It was the first time I had seen Jesse in some years, the first time we sat face to face since his arrest last month on charges of sexual assault:  groping two young girls in the Park Slope neighborhood of Brooklyn. He is also charged with resisting arrest and assaulting an undercover police officer. Jesse was on the news for days, his face all over the papers and TV. He is awaiting trial, the prosecution wants to send him to state prison for years.

Jesse had never met Maria, he joined us in the hotel lobby, we walked to a nearby Thai restaurant. It was painful in some ways, very intense and very good for me. I love Jesse, ever since he began e-mailing me poetic and defiant messages about individuality when I was at Rolling Stone, prompting me to fly out to Idaho to meet him. From the first moment I laid eyes on him, – we had lunch in a dingy Chinese restaurant in Caldwell, Idaho –  I knew I would write a book about him, and I cannot possibly describe the intimacy and connection between the author and subject of a book.

I spent several years talking to Jesse, interviewing him, traveling to see him, following his determined and courageous journey out of a poor town in Idaho to Chicago, and then on to New York City, where he has been putting together a solid life for himself. He has a career as a programmer, he is engaged to be married, he is in a strong and committed relationship. It is his crisis, not mine, but it is wrenching to see someone who worked so hard to improve his life – he got himself through the University of Chicago on an full scholarship and pennies to his name – in such jeopardy.

Maria didn’t say much during the lunch, but she said it was as if Jesse and I had never been out of touch, we just seemed to connect with one another.

We didn’t talk about our relationship, this isn’t the time. It was clear we wanted to see one another. Jesse is struggling to make sense of his arrest and upcoming trial, he is terrified of what might happen, he is passionate and clear about his innocence. Jesse and I did not have a second’s discomfort with one another, we slipped right back into our old relationship, me peppering him with questions, he answering them fully and articulately and very directly. He showed none of the mannerisms of the evasive or dishonest person – sweating, turning away, fidgeting, unable to make eye contact. He looked me in the eye and answered every question as he always did, clearly and without any hesitation.

I was a journalist for a long time, I have a good ear and eye for lying, I have asked Jesse a million questions in our time together, I have never known him to lie or exaggerate or doctor a fact to make it self-serving. He is almost incapable of calculation, even when it might serve him best.

I don’t have the time or heart to review the case against Jesse, save it to say if his version of events is correct, he is trapped in a truly Orwellian nightmare, a horror story, he is living in a Twilight Zone, a suspended space of unreality and danger. His life is at a crossroads, it is a dire time for him, to risk being labeled a sex offender in America. At times, I thought of Jesse as a son, I can only imagine the helplessness his parents feel at the nightmare that has engulfed him.

I simply cannot fathom that these charges are true, Jesse has done nothing since I have known him but work day and night to overcome anxiety and depression and poverty and struggle to build a meaningful life for himself with strong friendships, work he loves and a loving relationship. I am not a psychic or a shrink, but I simply cannot imagine him throwing all of that way to do what the police accuse him of doing.

I had the strong sense of someone who was authentic and direct and credible, I certainly believed his account fully and accepted it without hesitation. I have no doubt of his innocence. Of all of the thousands of questions I have asked Jesse, every single one of his answers turned out to be truthful and genuine. He asked if I would testify for him as a character witness and I said of course I would, and he invited me to attend some of the court proceedings, I gathered it would be meaningful to him to see me there. I will do that over the next weeks and months, my daughter lives just a few blocks from the courthouse where Jesse will be tried, I can stay at her apartment when I go down to the trial. Jesse is studying the law, the rules of evidence, the statutes governing police conduct.

Jesse told me he is working to keep steady – the prosecutor wants him to spend years in a state prison – but he has to fight back panic, pure terror,  when a police car drives by or he has to deal with some legal news, it is a kind of post-traumatic stress symptom, I think. The morning of his arrest, three detectives jumped out of a car with guns pointed at him, shouting to him to get down. As far as I know, Jesse has never committed a violent act in his life.

At the end of our lunch, I told him he seemed to be handling things well, and he laughed and said everyone tells him that, but it is now what he feels. I understand his point, it is not for me to tell him what he feels, it is for him to tell me. You can read his story here.

I know, what you mean I said, I know. I have no real advice to give you, I said, except this: have faith in yourself, 100 times a day, every day. This is not how the story ends for you, this is not what you fought so hard for these past years. You have many things working for you – a loving partner, a good lawyer, a supportive family, loyal friends, resources, a lot of strength. You will come through to the other side, you just have to choose to believe it.

I do.

13 January

Queen Florence: Talking To Cats, Dancing The Cat Dance.

by Jon Katz
Talking To Florence
Talking To Florence

It seems I am talking to animals much of the time around here, and I am enjoying the particular challenge of communicating with cats, independent, not quite fully domesticated and very indirect and intelligent animals. It was warm today we are having a bit of January thaw, I am told it will not last long. Flo took up position on her throne, the rocking chair on the porch where she holds court with the chickens and watches the passing parade.

When it is time for her to come in for the late afternoon feeding and a night inside the farmhouse, I stand in the door and open it. Cats, like donkeys, do not take orders or hop-to like well trained border collies. It has to be their own idea, Flo looks at me as if I fell out of the back of a truck, yawns, looks away. I stand still for about 20 seconds, and the hops off of the rocking chair, not especially interested in me or the door but willing to consider the offer.

I check my Iphone for messages and the less interested I appear, the more interested she gets, she sashays slowly over to the door, stares in turns around, circles back and then, as I am about to give up and close the door, she turns and scoots inside, almost a blur. To talk to cats, you have to dance the cat dance with them.

The dance goes something like this: I’ll do it, maybe, on my own time, in my own way. Don’t give me orders.

13 January

At The Vet: Red And Dr. Fariello

by Jon Katz
Red And Dr. Fariello
Red And Dr. Fariello

I took Red to the Cambridge Valley Veterinary Clinic for a sit-down with Dr. Suzanne Fariello to follow-up on last week’s issues with Red: gulping water outside and at the groomer’s and a sudden relatively sharp weight gain. Dr. Fariello and Red are right, Red has more girlfriends than I could ever have imagined. It was a good meeting, another boon of where I live, Dr. Fariello spent nearly an hour with us going over Red’s history, his symptoms, his tests and screens, and checking out his body, posture and heart.

It is her feeling that Red is fine, we both think the water issues – which seem to have gone away – were a behavioral tic, Red like most border collies, has many – or a side affect of the extreme cold which may have affected him as he worked in sub-zero weather. Dr. Fariello felt the weight grain was a function of Red’s having been treated for hookworms a few months ago, there is often a weight gain after de-worming. Also, she said he is getting older, he is nearly eight years old and his metabolism might be changing, she suggested mixing up the high-protein Fromm Food with some of Fromm’s lower calorie mixes. Fromm is her favorite food, as it is mine.

Otherwise, she said Red is very healthy. His urinary tract is clean, he does not have diabetes or Cushing’s disease, his thyroid and kidney functions are healthy, she said even with his increased weight, he is by no means overweight, just a bit heftier than he usually is. We agreed to put this aside for now, I was grateful for the time and care Suzanne took – vets in cities and suburbs rarely can offer that much time and care, I appreciate the practice.

I have changed Red’s food and moved his water bowl around – he is drinking inside more, but not gulping so much – and adjust his food. He has lost a half-pound since last Wednesday. As the weather warms up a bit, we can get back to work, the ice has melted, we can do some daily herding again. We’ll see what happens.

Thanks for the generous concern about Red,the advice didn’t bug me too much, I can’t honestly say I pay attention to online diagnoses but I do see the concern behind some of them. I like vets, and I trust them. They have always offered the truest diagnoses for my animals. I enjoyed seeing Red and Dr. Fariello connect with each other, Red is a good and sweet soul, he even loves being examined. I put up an album on Facebook.

13 January

A Beautiful Day

by Jon Katz
Beautiful Day
Beautiful Day

We got up early – Maria had to get to the dentist – and we were accompanied by a beautiful day, perhaps the nicest in weeks, the sun raced ahead of us across the country roads and the meadow, and I thought how calming it is to see this as we drive, it was so different than being in New York City, such a wonderful and assaultive place, how lucky I am to see such beauty every day, the landscape is always a master painting to me.

13 January

Something New: Support “Talking To Animals.” Kickstarter And The Blog

by Jon Katz
"Talking To Animals."
“Talking To Animals.”

Something very different today, for me, for you. This morning, I launched my Kickstarter page for my most ambitious project, “Talking to Animals,” an idea I have been working on for 15 years, with dogs, barn cats, sheep, goats, donkeys, chickens and cows. I am seeking to do nothing less than construct a new language for communicating with our animals – not in words but in emotions, instincts, intuition, body language and reinforcements like food and attention.

This is my life’s work, and as I begin to undertake it – I hope it will be my next book  and e-book – I am also undertaking a different and very new way of funding it. I want to do it in collaboration with you, the people who have been following my work so closely and for so long. You know I have been sharing my ideas about communicating with animals for some time. Kickstarter – and my blog – offer me a new way of getting the time and equipment I need to complete this project and new ways of sharing it with  you.

I need time and I need a new camera, a camera of great power, high-speed and effectiveness in low light to capture the detail and emotion I am seeking. It will cost more than $9,000 all told, and that is the amount I am seeking to raise on Kickstarter – a very successful new way for creative people to raise money for arts and idea projects – and also on my blog. In exchange, I will offer to share my research, conclusions, and photos (and also some books when they are produced) with the people who pledge $25 or more. I am offering rewards for pledges – books, photos, posts.

I expect the project to be completed and published by the end of 2015. The pledge money is collected by Amazon, it is simple and secure, if I do not reach the goal of $9,000, no money is collected or transferred at all.

I will draw on the anecdotes and experiences of learning and listening with all of my animals – Elvis, Orson, Rose, Winston the rooster, Izzy, Lenore, Pearl and Clementine, Red and Frieda, Simon and the donkeys, the barn cats Mother, Minnie and Flo.

I need about 360 pledges to reach my goal, to get the photographic equipment I need and to get the time I need to focus on this project.  “An animal’s eyes,” wrote Henry Beston,”have the power to speak a great language.” I have seen this, again and again. It shows up in the photos of Maria talking to the donkey’s, in the loving eyes of the dogs, in the movements of chickens, the vigilance of the barn cats. I work hard not to put my words and emotions into my animal’s consciousness, I want to listen and understand what they are trying to tell me, and I have made great progress at this, as many of you know.

A few years ago, I would have asked my publisher for money for my equipment, that is not possible any longer, but I am committed to the work. Creative people are finding new ways to support the work, and that is transforming the relationship between artists and the consumers of art. Hop on board. We can make it happen together, for those who are so inclined. I see my blog as collaborative, I have been sharing my life for some years so this is not a new idea for us, bedlamfarm.com is it’s own Kickstarter.

This is a very different way of funding my work, as are subscriptions and the new book tour. It is, I think, the future, just as subscriptions are. I am excited to be up to my neck in change and exploration. I get to do my work, you get to share in the results. I will offer photos and findings to people who pledge to support “Talking To Animals.” If I do not raise the entire amount, no money will be accepted or transferred. When it becomes a book or an e-book, I will offer up to 70 free copies of the book and photos from the new camera to people who pledge. I need fewer than 400 pledges to make this work. I see this as my life’s work.

So here is a direct and new way for you to support the arts as you see fit, the middle-men are on the run. My Kickstarter Project for “Talking To Animals” is up and running, I have 30 days to raise the money I need before the project ends. Can’t wait to see what happens, and thank you. This community has been unfailingly supportive of me, and I hope to return the favor.

I’ll keep you posted.

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