10 June

Oh, Happiest Day: Fourth Anniversary. Lips To The World. Back Friday.

by Jon Katz
Happy Day
Happy Day

Thursday is the fourth anniversary of my marriage to Maria, one of the happiest days of my life, one of the most amazing. Whenever I am discouraged, challenged, saddened or angered I think of Maria and I am reminded of all that is good and pure and loving in the world, all of life’s great promise. This keeps me on course. June 12, 2010 was a miracle in my life, I had never experienced such happiness and trust and love and connection, I did not know it existed.

My marriage reminds me every single day how lucky I am, how happy I am, how meaningful life can be. Last week, I wrote a poem to Maria called “Where Do You FInd Such A Woman..” I think I will never know the answer to the question, I am only grateful that I did.

Maria and I have walked through the fires together, through the darkness and the light, we are two parts of the same puzzle, we share our lives together.  Our souls are twins. Our connection is a creative one, but more than that, we found one another, saved one another. We do it every day. Life is a roller coaster, we all know this. We sometimes lurch from joy to sorrow in the same day, life happens and happens and happens. We always pause to drink in the river of life.

Love has taught me to open up, to be authentic, to step outside of myself, to never dwell for long in the shadows. It has given me the strongest motive for getting well, staying strong. We grow all the time, share life with one another, challenge one another, support one another. Relationships are never simple, neither of us is a simple human being, but they can be quite wonderful.

For me, Maria is the light. We were supposed to leave for a two-day anniversary  break in the morning, but I know today was a painful day for Maria, for me also, so we are heading out tonight to celebrate our happiest day. We will return Friday morning. I am not bringing a computer, only my camera (35 mm lens). The blog will be quiet, I will give everyone a rest from me and my fevered brain. I need a short rest too. I am ready to move forward and eagerly into my life, it is a good one.

Thanks for taking the vows with me, former girlfriend, together we will, as we vowed, put our lips to the world, and just live our lives.

I am so grateful to be married to Maria, it is my Independence Day, the day of the birth of me. Every day I try and live up to my good fortune of being with her, she inspires me every minute to try and be a better and worthy human being. Thank you for bearing witness to this journey of the heart,  for supporting it, for encouraging it, for understanding it, often better than I could. Be back soon.

10 June

Checking On Ma

by Jon Katz
Checking On Ma
Checking On Ma

I told Ma this afternoon that she ought to write a novel, her lambing experience has taken her through the gamut of life. She has not called out much to Jake, but a few times, Ma is an accepting soul, gentle and preoccupied. She came to Maria and the two of them talked, as Maria can do. She knows how to get down low and look them in the eye and share feelings, and I think I could see those feelings in the photo.

10 June

The Message Of The Lamb

by Jon Katz
The Message Of The Lamb
The Message Of The Lamb

It was interesting to see, I believe almost all of the other animals knew Jake was dying well before I did. Yesterday, Ma pushed him away when he tried to nurse, the sheep and the donkeys came up to him to smell him carefully, they smelled the sickness and change in him, they  began to turn from him. We tried all of the things technology can offer a lamb – the shots, medicines, stimulants. We could not smell what Simon and the other sheep smelled.

Jake is a white animal, the Indians believe white animals appear for a reason, they carry messages for us. Thinking on this out in the pasture where Jake died, I thought how universal and common a thing grief it. No one grieves alone, no one experiences loss alone. The Indians believe the appearance of the white animal is a call for people to set aside their differences and come together to save the earth.

I believe grief and loss are one of the universal connections for human beings. A lamb is one kind of a loss, a mother and father, another, a child or brother and sister yet another. Illness strikes our friend and loved ones, we lose our beloved pets. Every one of you reading this has suffered a loss, has lost someone, has left a dream behind, a lover, a friend or family member, or they have left you behind. In this way, we all come to know one another.

No loss belongs to one person, and when I lose something I care about, it reminds me that every single person on the earth has experienced a loss, it unites and binds us as few things do in the world. It connects me to the feelings of other.  I am taking Jake’s message to heart, he came for a reason and left for one. That is my experience with spirit animals, they come for a reason, they go when they are ready.

The farm is a great teacher, I am learning every day what it truly means to be a human being in this world.

10 June

Mayhem For Red

by Jon Katz
Mayhem For Red
Mayhem For Red

Lambing has caused mayhem for Red, he cannot yet get the sheep to flock as a herd, the lambs throw them off, they scatter every which way, he keeps trying to get them together. He will figure it out, Red does not quit or get discouraged. Hope to do some herding for the Open House in a week and a half, I told him he needs to get things in shape.

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