There are few children in Provincetown any longer, but there are plenty of dogs. There are dogs everywhere there – on the beach, on leashes, in every other window, in outdoor cafes, in art galleries and specialty stores,  in the National Seashore, in motels, behind gates and shrubs, clustered with groups of people, in fancy rooming houses. Half of the stores in Provincetown have water bowls for dogs and some told me – only half-jokingly – that you can’t buy a house in Provincetown if you don’t own a dog.

There is a dog park in the town with elaborate concrete sculptures, tunnels, grave running tracks, it is one of the only places in the town with ample parking. There are all kinds of dogs – the tourists seem to favor Pit Bulls, Labs, Golden Retrievers, Huskies,  and large shelter dogs, the residents seem partial to small pure-bred dogs, especially ones that need a lot of grooming and bark. A lot of Scotties and lap dogs.

I love dogs – they are a significant part of my life and my work – but, as often happens, I am in a freakish minority when it comes to things like bringing them on vacation. For one thing, I love sleeping late and not worrying about feeding or walking them in the morning. For another, I can’t say I see the point of walking a big working or hunting down down a crowded tourist town  at mid-day, tongues hanging to the ground, jostling for space with many thousands of people and their dogs. I didn’t see many happy dogs on those streets. Many were understandably anxious.

If it’s considered abuse for the carriage horses to walk around in the heat, why is it good for a Lab from Michigan to be panting on hot asphalt in August with people pressing on him from all sides?

Even a decade ago, it was unusual for people to bring dogs on vacations, animals were not permitted in most hotels or motels. There was some space between them and us. Now, as dogs are increasingly emotionalized elements in our lives, I know many people who won’t go on vacation if their dogs don’t go, and are proud to say so.

For me, dogs are a distraction on vacation. I like to take photos, walk on the dunes, pop into stores and restaurants, stop and focus on what is around me. I don’t want where I walk to be bounded by where my dog can go and where everybody else’s dog is going.

There are many conflicts surrounding dogs in Provincetown.

Some people tug at their dogs and yell at them to move along. Dogs dump on the beach during their walks, there are signs everywhere imploring people to clean up, even stands with doggie bags (many people don’t clean up, of course) and motels contend with barking dogs, or dogs that fight with other dogs. People walk around with aggressive dogs who go after other dogs, you can hear the fighting and yelling on the streets.

There are raging battles reported in the local paper between dog-loving residents and the town’s animal control officer, who lurks on the beach and gives big tickets for dogs unleashed at the wrong time.  On the National Seashore, dogs are forbidden on hiking trails and sand dunes, but I saw many on both. Some dogs love to run on the beach, others struggle to walk on the hot sand. It did feel uncomfortable to me to see dog feces on the sand trails of the dunes.

The problem with being dog friendly is that many people are not dog responsible, that seems to be a part of human nature.

But Provincetown is a mirror of our deepening attachment to dogs, in so many ways. They are a ubiquitous presence in town.  Dogs are no longer on the periphery of our lives, they are at the center. They are not pets for many people, but beloved members of the family, nearly indistinguishable from children. I guess I fall somewhere in the middle.

Dogs are not just pets for me, but part of being on vacation is freedom from the conventional chores and responsibilities that mark our lives. I just don’t need them to be with me every minute, and I don’t believe they need it either. It is easy enough to think about what we want, harder to understand what they want or need.

I do not believe our dogs miss me or Maria when we are away – there are really no signs of it. I have never had a dog with separation anxiety.  Our dogs love our pet-sitter – they are on familiar turf, they play and walk with her, cuddle with her at night, eat heartily, play and behave normally. I believe this is better for them than driving to the beach and hanging out in motel rooms and on crowded streets.

I did not miss them in Provincetown, and was grateful to be spared the responsibility of walking, feeding, cleaning up, exercising and monitoring them. I was very happy to see them when I got home, absence really does make the heart grow fonder for me. Dogs love routine above all, and it was great to know they were safe and healthy right where they were.