Day: May 30, 2015

Life goes on. And on. We fear death, hide from it, dread it, sometimes we get mired in it. But  there is nothing more affirming of life than death, nothing that makes us appreciate life or value it more, nothing that causes us to seek out love, friendship and hope more. At Blue Star yesterday, there was talk of loss and grief, but as much as that, there was talk of the future, of tomorrow, of the next thing, of commitment, of the next rising of people, the next stage of life, the next idea and passion.

We have to go on, my friend Pamela said, we can’t be selfish. What a strong and wonderful person she is. We speak one another’s mind, just as Paul and I did.  When I was 14, lost and struggling, I turned to a Quaker Meeting in Providence for refuge and support and I found it there. The Quakers taught me many things, and what a wonderful world this could be if we all followed their peaceful and gentle ways. One of the things they taught me was to celebrate life, not mourn the loss of it.

Grieving is important, essential to health and recovery, I know, but life is the greatest healer on the earth. Animals are spirit creatures, the angels and representatives of the spirits, they teach us always, in every way, if we can open ourselves to it. They come to us for a reason. Red came to me to mark the end of one passage of my life, he has come to stand with me in my rebirth, my partner in the joys and travails of life. I guess I know now that I am not a person easily drawn to other people, so the angels sent Maria, and then they sent Red. I’m covered.

Fate’s purpose is becoming clear, she is a spirit dog as well, she comes to remind us to celebrate life, rebirth and promise. She opens our hearts to love and laughter. She reminds me to celebrate life, not mourn loss. She pulls us out of ourselves, she iis a heart dog, I think, she heals the heart, keeps it open, pumps blood into it, she helps us cherish the glory and beauty and connection in the world.

Yesterday, at Blue Star,  the shadow of death,  I never felt more love, I never felt more loved. There, around us, were all of these young people, waiting to come forward, to move into life and meaning, to do better than we have done, better than we can do. That is the thing about death and loss, it is so much a part of the nutrient of life, Pamela knows that, the horses know it, the Quakers know it, I know it. Death generates life and renewal, my heart is in celebration today as I return to Blue Star farm. A gift, nothing but a gift.

There are many things to love about getting a puppy, but one of the most precious to me is watching them discover the world, consider it, learn how to live in it. Dogs are one of the most adaptable species on the earth, they read humans well and they have learned how to manipulate them with looks, emotions, affections, and the great tonic of unconditional love.

Fate is a bright dog, she studies the world intensely, she watches her humans closely, I often get the sense she is putting it together, learning how to live in an alien world with human, not animal rules. She has a strong will, but she is a good learner. She has enriched our lives. We like to think we know what dogs are thinking, but I rarely know what dogs are thinking.

My guess is she is trying to figure me out, train me in a positive but efficient ways. She gets good food, rawhide treats, hugs and walks, she gets to look at sheep and chickens, barn cats and trucks. She is becoming a woods dog, a fiber dog.  It is a blessed thing to be Maria’s dog.