Life goes on. And on. We fear death, hide from it, dread it, sometimes we get mired in it. But there is nothing more affirming of life than death, nothing that makes us appreciate life or value it more, nothing that causes us to seek out love, friendship and hope more. At Blue Star yesterday, there was talk of loss and grief, but as much as that, there was talk of the future, of tomorrow, of the next thing, of commitment, of the next rising of people, the next stage of life, the next idea and passion.
We have to go on, my friend Pamela said, we can’t be selfish. What a strong and wonderful person she is. We speak one another’s mind, just as Paul and I did. When I was 14, lost and struggling, I turned to a Quaker Meeting in Providence for refuge and support and I found it there. The Quakers taught me many things, and what a wonderful world this could be if we all followed their peaceful and gentle ways. One of the things they taught me was to celebrate life, not mourn the loss of it.
Grieving is important, essential to health and recovery, I know, but life is the greatest healer on the earth. Animals are spirit creatures, the angels and representatives of the spirits, they teach us always, in every way, if we can open ourselves to it. They come to us for a reason. Red came to me to mark the end of one passage of my life, he has come to stand with me in my rebirth, my partner in the joys and travails of life. I guess I know now that I am not a person easily drawn to other people, so the angels sent Maria, and then they sent Red. I’m covered.
Fate’s purpose is becoming clear, she is a spirit dog as well, she comes to remind us to celebrate life, rebirth and promise. She opens our hearts to love and laughter. She reminds me to celebrate life, not mourn loss. She pulls us out of ourselves, she iis a heart dog, I think, she heals the heart, keeps it open, pumps blood into it, she helps us cherish the glory and beauty and connection in the world.
Yesterday, at Blue Star, the shadow of death, I never felt more love, I never felt more loved. There, around us, were all of these young people, waiting to come forward, to move into life and meaning, to do better than we have done, better than we can do. That is the thing about death and loss, it is so much a part of the nutrient of life, Pamela knows that, the horses know it, the Quakers know it, I know it. Death generates life and renewal, my heart is in celebration today as I return to Blue Star farm. A gift, nothing but a gift.