Day: February 5, 2016

In a sense, light is my faith, my religion. I worship light. The Kabbalah, one of my most cherished sources of spiritual inspiration, is filled with writings about the sanctity of light, many of the mystics believed light was God, it was sacred, it was the mystical representation of  holiness.

That is a beautiful and powerful idea to me, the idea that darkness and light were once inseparable and could be separated one from another. The mystic authors of the Kabbalah were feminists, clearly and also intensely creative, they worshiped the creative spark as the foundation of spirit.

Mysticism is a number of various practices, texts, ideas, symbols and institutions, a form of religious practice based on the idea that knowledge of spiritual truth can be gained by praying or thinking deeply. I have always been drawn to the mystics, and one of the great works of mysticism is the Kabbalah, written by the ancient Hebrew mystics.

I read from the Kabbalah today, and the passage I read quotes the famed Rabbi Isaac as writing that the light created by God “flared from one end of the universe to the other, and was hidden away, reserved for the righteous in the world that is coming as it is written: Light is sown for the righteous, then the worlds will be fragrant and all will be one. But until the world that is coming arrives, the light is stored and hidden away.”

The mystics believed that when powerful light is concealed, it is revealed. “Though concealed, the light is actually revealed for were it not concealed, it could not be revealed.” The ancients said this idea was like looking at the dazzling sun, it’s brilliance conceals it, but if you look at through a screen, you can see the light and not be harmed.

So it is with spirituality and emanation, the mystical theory of the radiant creation of the world. The mystics had their own ideas about how the earth was created. This idea of revelation is also a message for seekers. With the appearance of light the universe and human life expanded. When the light is concealed, this permitted all things that exist to be created in their variety. This, says the Kabbalah, is the secret of creation. And, the writers added mysteriously, “One who understands will understand.”

I guess one who doesn’t understand doesn’t.

I mostly understand, or I think I do. Darkness and light, like life and death, are not different things but interwoven parts of the same thing. Light is only revealed when it comes out of darkness but light is never fully revealed to us.  The spiritual path never ends, it is in so many ways a journey through darkness and light, it is not possible to separate one from another, each gives birth to life in its own way.

Everywhere we pray and seek God, says the Kabbalah, “one thread-thin ray appears from that hidden light and flows down upon those absorbed in her. Since the first day, the light as never been fully revealed to us, we only see parts of it, but it is vital to the world, renewing each day the act of creating and creation.

I’ve often had my fantasies of instant success, fame and sudden riches, but life is a great teacher and I have put my delusions and expectations in perspective, brought them down to earth where i can see them and live with them in reality. I’ve only attended one writing class in my life, a workshop on creativity held by the great writer John Updike in Cambridge, Mass. It did change my life, at least my writing life.

He told me that anyone can be a writer and a good writer, it depends on what is in your heart, not what is in  your head. Writing is not about spelling or grammar, he said, it is about feeling and authenticity, emotion and truth. We are only creative for so many hours in the day, guard the time ruthlessly and use it well. Good advice, taken to heart, I’ve written 28 books and at least two more to come.

Updike assured us that a writer’s life was hard, and he was right about that to. But anything worth doing is difficult, I have come to see, and I was reminded of this tonight when I stopped into the kitchen of the Round House Cafe to see my friend Scott, who was putting in his 60th or so hour running the cafe and helping out in the Round House Bakery Cafe.

Friday is pizza night at the cafe, and Sunday is the instantly popular new brunch.  But it makes for a brutally long day, Scott  gets up at 4 or 5 a.m. to bake bread and muffins for the cafe. He will not get to sleep much until Monday, and Scott doesn’t really sleep too long for too often, too much going on in his head.

Scott will be there all day tomorrow and Sunday, towards the weekend he looks haggard and pale, but his good cheer and eye for detail never wavers. It has been instructive to see how hard it is to run a small business, handle so many details, cook good and fresh food, follow countless government regulations, deal with employee and equipment issues, food to order, menus to plan, customers to handle, bills to pay, dishes to wash, coffee to make, receipts to handle.

Scott’s work is never done, even  as the the cafe has taken hold in the town and become a beloved and integral part of our community. Sometimes I fear that Scott will wear himself doing  the long hours and very physical work. He says no, he loves the work and his Tai Chi helps keep him grounded.

His cafe has become a part of the town’s soul, Scott’s passion for the community and for healthy and good food is drawing people from all over.

Scott does his work much in the same way Updike taught writing and creativity. You must be committed, he told us, and ruthless in the protection of your creative time. It is possible for anyone to be a good writer, he said, but it is work, not drama, process, not mystery and mystique.

I respect people who work hard, they deserve success and they attract it. I do believe anything worth while doing is difficult and takes commitment, patience and a thick skin for dealing with struggle and rejection. I work hard at my writing every single day, and have for most of my life. And I think I am just learning how to do it.

I expect to write to the bitter end, and if I am lucky, I will go out with one hand on my keyboard and the other on Maria.

In the woods today, Fate walked out onto the ice, melting in the sun, to retrieve a stick she saw out there. I might have thrown it on a colder day when the ice was thicker. She walked slowly, the top of the pond was about an inch of melted water. The ice cracked softly, Fate heard it and moved slowly.

She was careful to move lightly, not quickly or with any pounding, and she very gingerly picked up the stick and brought it out. Last night was cold and the ice is thickening again. She has stopped skating and sliding, she brought her stick out. Again, she chewed a hole in the ice to drink some water, as cows and horses do out in their pastures. I believe she is one of those dogs who could live out in nature, she digs holes, finds berries and droppings, navigates the brush and meadow easily, finds mice and chipmunks and rabbits to chase.

She knows where to find water. She knows now what the ice is and how to respect it.

We usually see Kelly at Foggy Notions (The Bog, as it is known here) on Thursday night. She has one of the best smiles I am aware of. It is radiant, different every time. Kelly’s smile is an inspiration to me, it speaks of her grace and calm and courtesy.

Well cared for domesticated animals almost universally share a common trait, from dogs to barn cats to donkeys to working horses and elephants. They are curious. They are eager to see and grasp what the people in their lives are doing.

Wild animals – deer, raccoons – will flee from anything strange. Domesticated animals are drawn to the strange and the new. If I stand in a corner, Fate and Red will come rushing over to see what I am doing. If I go into the pasture with a rake, the donkeys will come over to sniff it and try and see what it is.  When Maria works on the Fiber Chair, the dogs and barn cats invariably come over to see what she is doing.

If you go near the carriage horses in New York with a bag or backpack, the horses want to know what’s in it, if you stand close to them, they are likely to smell or study you.

Flo the barn cat gets closer than the others, she is fascinated by Maria’s hands working on the Fiber Chair. Fate also sits and watches. When we go out into the pasture, if we are carrying anything new, Chloe the pony and the donkeys will immediately come out and sniff it to see what is. Curiosity is a part of the connection between people and animals.