Day: July 27, 2016

I was naked for a bit the other day and walked by a full-length mirror,and I was startled, as I sometimes am, to look at the man in the mirror, I was shocked, at first, to see it was me. I am getting older, and I look older, and I suppose that is appropriate for someone who will be 69 years old on August 8.

I look at the beautiful flowers on the windowsill of my study and saw that they are beginning to die, they are getting older and losing some of their color and strength. Me, too, I suppose. I wonder if, like me, they see themselves in their minds as young.

I don’t feel old, and I don’t think old either. I don’t define myself in terms of health or my age, I don’t wish I was young again, I don’t believe the old days were any better than the new.  I’m still younger than anyone running for president.

Life is beautiful, for sure. This is not nearly the worst time in our history, or the history of the world. It isn’t even close.

History is the great teacher of perspective, we never know how lucky we are until it is too late. The young are not supposed to be wise or pliant, that is the job of older people. If the young were like us, there would be no hope for the world, it would be dull beyond imagining and stale.

My flowers are beautiful, just as much today as when they were picked. I’d like to think I am more beautiful than I was when I was young. Maria says I am beautiful, but I confess I don’t believe her.

But when I look at my windowsill, I think differently. I might be beautiful in the eyes of others. It’s not really for me to decide how I look. Looking at my older flowers, I think it’s possible for me to be beautiful, our world has trained me to think differently, old people are hidden away from the world, we are not in movies or on magazine covers. In books we are all doddering droolers.

When i take photos, I know it is possible to take a beautiful photo of anything. Maybe it is just as possible for someone like me to be beautiful in the same way. It isn’t what we think, it’s what people can  see. Can I see you? Can you see me?

Cassandra and Red: Laser Treatment

Red continued his laser treatment today, he seemed sore after his run in with the ram when we went to get Rosemary.

Red got whacked around pretty well, and he seemed sore, so we went to see Cassandra at the Cambridge Valley Vet, she applies the laser wand to his arthritis and sore back.

Red is  in continuing treatment for his back, and it is working well. He gets laser treatment twice a month, massage twice a month. Down the road, we may try acupuncture as well. I am getting comfortable with the idea of preventive car, something new to me. It works for Red.

I enjoy my time with Cassandra, she has an easy and loving way with animals. They pick up on her calm, they accept her treatment.  I enjoy getting to know her. I’m still working on my portrait of her for the Portrait Show in September at the Round House, so we put Red up on the table so I could get a better shot of her.

This photo was taken with the infrared camera, and I like the way it captured the overhead lights and the soft feeling in the room. Red trusts her completely and didn’t need to be restrained on the high table in the operating room.

I don’t think this is the portrait I will use of Cassandra in the September Portrait Show at the Round House, but my photos are evolving, I don’t just want a face shot, although that sometimes works, I want to the portrait to also capture a place, and a portrait of Cassandra would not be complete if it did not include a sense of her at work.

The IR can soften a scene.

I saw these empty hay wagons out in the Valley Of Paradise (my name for a beautiful valley near me, and I saw the beautiful clouds in the sky, so I tried to capture it with my IR camera. I loved the clouds and their texture and shades and colors. The IR camera teases me, it picks up some color when it feels like it, and the mood strikes.

I found this scene both soothing and peaceful.

Most mornings, we begin life here with a Bedlam Farm Daily Parade. One day I’ll invite people to come and watch our parade, they can line the route and cheer the animals on as they head out across Lulu’s Crossing and into the far pasture, an old cow pasture we have re-imagined as a grazing spot for our animals.

Everyone has a role. Red walks he sheep down the hill and keeps them away from Maria,  the donkeys follow at their own pace and in their own time (with donkeys, everything has to be their idea. Maria or I start the parade by heading towards the gate, closed when not being grazed for rotational grazing.

Fate runs in circles, a joyous romp with no ostensible purpose that I can see although she is positively thrilled with herself. The sheep go halfway up –  you can see the animals well-worn path. We have to be a big careful with Chloe, when she enters the gate she loves to take off for the far corners of the pasture, where there are all kinds of shrubs.

You wouldn’t want to be in front of her when she does this, she would happily run right over a dog or plow right through the flock of sheep. Red gets out of her way now, he didn’t used to, and Chloe loves Fate – Fate is the only animal she will run around to avoid. Sometimes I see a sheep go flying but Chloe isn’t out to hurt anybody she is just focused.

The sheep to up into the shade and graze, Chloe runs all the way to the rear fence and finds grass to eat. Red lies down near the gate to keep everybody where he can see them, and Fate runs in wide and beautiful circles. I do believe she thinks she is accomplishing something.

I love the daily parade, Maria is the Pied Piper here, there is no yelling or trouble or cajoling, everybody seems to trust everybody else and knows what to do. Maria and I often hold hands and walk out among the animals to eyeball them and make sure everybody looks good, no one is limping.

I take a few photos, she picks flowers and hugs donkeys and stands with me. In all of my now longish life, I have never experienced a better way for me to start the day than with our Bedlam Farm Daily Parade.

Each morning, I go out to the pasture, but to get in the gate, I have to agree to kiss a pony on the nose. After the kiss, a carrot or cookie. Maria says I am falling for Chloe the pony, but I tell her I am basically a dog and donkey guy. She says I am in denial. It is not just her pony any longer, she says on her blog that it is our pony.

I’m not sure I’m there yet, but I am fond of Chloe. She is one of the proud and strong and loving women on the farm. I love giving her a hose bath every day, and she loves getting a bath, she is out in the hot sun all day covered in flies, I bet the hosing feels very good to her. I do love giving her her daily bath.

I do love Chloe’s independence, and I love her sweetness and calm. And she is tough as nails. On the whole, she is far less imperious and moody than the donkeys. They love you when they feel like it, otherwise you can just get lost.

Chloe loves Maria and she loves attention.

She is happy for us to put her fly mask, she accepts the halter with grace, she learns quickly, loves being groomed and is always up for a kiss. Maria is brimming with love, her emotions are on the surface, where animals can see and sniff them.

Mine, I think, are buried deeper. Animals do that for us, they help us understand who we really are.