Day: August 6, 2016

“It is a wise thing to be polite; consequently, it is a stupid thing to be rude.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

A few days ago, someone messaged me to tell me Maria and I were making a “terrible mistake” by removing our shutters. Shutters were never natural to old farmhouses, they were added in the 1950’s to make farmhouses look like suburban houses. We were happy with the results.

The message was not a big deal, I did answer it to say we were happy with our decision and I was puzzled that this person would send a message that seemed both rude and intrusive to me. After all, we wouldn’t presume to tell her what to do with her shutters.

Of course, she got snarky and said people who accept money for subscriptions and payments should expect to be told what to do. I answered by saying the payments were for my work, they did not buy me or Maria or our lives and shutters.  Very few people force me to say that.

I have had this issue before, and so have many of you. I share my life, I don’t give it to others. I like to make my own decisions and my own mistakes, it is the way I learn. I do not care for thousands of people to be telling what to do, with my animals or my life or my house.

The sad thing about our times is that there are very many people who are utterly confounded by that, social media is a fast lane into the lives and computer screens of other people, many people say things all the time that they would never say if they were in someone’s home.

We are building new boundaries in these new kinds of communities, and i am always thinking about how to define what is proper online, in the curious world of the virtual community.

Many people lose sight of boundaries on social media, there are wonderful people there, it is also a spawning ground for hatred and cruelty and argument. And intrusion. I can’t imagine messaging a writer or stranger to tell him or her that her home decorating decisions were a “terrible” mistake.

I believe Henry David Thoreau would have committed suicide after a week in Walden Pond if he were on Facebook Messenger there.

I share those things, but also see them as personal at the same time, a feeling that is often confusing to people, especially those who spend a lot of time on Facebook and Twitter, where once sacred values of privacy has long been abandoned and the very American idea of minding your own business a quaint and ancient idea.

We are each responsible for our own lives, we make our decisions independently and hopefully, in freedom.

On Facebook, people tell people what to do all of the time, and rudeness is just a few clicks away on a keyboard.

My idea for social media is this: My Facebook Page and my blog (I don’t go on Twitter, the blog does  feed there) are extensions of my home. I never say anything on anyone’s Facebook Page that I would not say sitting in their home, looking across a table at them.

My blog is literally my home in may respects. My Facebook Page is an extension of it.

I would not go to a friend’s house and tell them that their shutter decision was a terrible mistake, that would be understood as rude and inappropriate.

I feel the same way about e-mail. On my pages and in my communications, I do not permit hatred, insult or continuous arguments, and many people feel aggrieved at this, one woman posted that if I didn’t permit her to call other people on my page stupid, I should not be permitted to be on Facebook at all.

A new definition of un-moderated free speech, of which there is, perhaps for the first time in my value system, too much on social media.

I like my idea.

I can’t control the behavior of other people, but my communications, in e-mail and on social media are generally quite civil. This week, I wrote several times about the presidential campaign and only two or three people plunged into the robotic and mindless hatred promoted every day by the zombie-mind altered warriors of the left and the right.

We actually had some thoughtful and civil conversations about Donald Trump and his impact on the world.  Right there on Facebook, and for several days.

It can be done. Social media is a part of our world now, my Facebook Page is an extension of my home. I expected to treat others as if I were a guest in their home, and i will expect others to treat me the same way.

I realize this is an ideal, perhaps even a fantasy, something that is far from the reality for most people. I believe we begin by taking small steps, by doing to others what we would like to be done to ourselves. By living our own lives and not telling other people how to live theirs. That is my idea of liberty.

I like the idea of my blog and my Facebook Page as being an extension of my home, that makes me feel good about both.

I told the woman who hated my shutter philosophy that she ought not to write me any message that she would not speak to me face to face, sitting in my living room. She was astonished.

She said she never thought of e-mail or Facebook in that way. A good start. I did not hear from her again.

Rosemary is getting comfortable with me and my camera, she doesn’t run away or back off any more, it almost seems like she is posing, something the animals of Bedlam Farm seem to quickly learn to do. I don’t give treats to sheep, they can swarm people if they given treats constantly.

But sometimes I just sit among them without the dogs and they get used to me. Rosemary is a beautiful ewe, one of the most beautiful we have had, and her wool is gorgeous. There is another sheep in need of rescue from the same place Rosemary and Izzy came from, she is supposed to be a fence-jumper, but so was Zelda, and I think we can cure her of that.

Once sheep attach themselves to the flock they rarely take off. I think we will go take a look at her. Maria would be very happy with the beautiful wool on these Romney sheep, so will the people who buy her yarn. I like having a robust flock, i am confident I can train her out of jumping.

That is important, because we live on a busy road, but Red and I can handle it, I think. Is this hubris?

Jack Metzger is almost a Faulkner character, it is hard to imagine him anywhere else but in our small town. He is the King of Main Street, his Outback Antiques store is a landmark and a magnet, he is a genius at finding the artifacts of the past and giving them stories and life. He also turns them into art.

Jack is a story-teller, he gets in his car and rides the back roads of the country looking for beautiful and evocative things. He knows the story of everything and love to tell it, and he loves life. Today, he was waxing eloquent about some milkweeds that grow through the boards in his porch and the gourds he has growing up a post.

Jack is a passionate and intuitive believer in community, he has kept an eye on his neighbor George Forss for decades. On weekends Jack and George watch golf together on George’s giant big screen TV, which transmits all of the games in red. Jack loves to play golf, George never has and never will.

Once in awhile I haggle with Jack about a price, but only rarely. You cannot outfox him.

Jack always has a twinkle in his eye, and he is a devastatingly shrewd salesman. If you go in there, you will come out with something. And it will be nice, and you will love it. Every book I’ve written up here has been written on an old farm table that Jack found for me, all of my inspiring statuary and the statue on our back lawn also came from him.

Jack is also a gifted and increasingly popular artist.

He’s in my portrait show, of course. He is the King of Main Street.

I love taking his photo, here he was extolling the virtue of his gourds. I told him he needs to change the front porch, I’ve already got a photo of the ducks up on the blog.

I’m getting excited about my portrait show, scheduled for the Round House Cafe the beginning of September. I think there will be a reception for the public and the people and families in the show. My friend George Forss,  a brilliant and famous photographer, is printing the photos for the show, we picked up the first 18 today. The one above is called “Women Of The Hardware Store,” it shows Donna and Nancy, women are all over the once all-male bastion of hardware stores, and they know their stuff.

There are about 25 portraits in the show, a wide range of people I know and love in my town. A grandmother and her granddaughter together, an animal rescuer, George and his flying saucers, Joan of “Joan’s Shear Secrets,” Ted Emerson the brushhogger, Scott Carrino doing Tai Chi,  Bridget, the independent pharmacist who closed down last year, and about a dozen others. Maria is curating the show, she is tough.

George is a wonderful printer, the photos are all in black and white, printed on beautiful paper. We are looking for the cheapest possible frames so that the photos will not be expensive, it is a celebration of the people who live and work in my small town, a celebration of community.

Maria found some nice metal frames for sale, 50 per cent off online.

George said it was obvious that these were people I live, and I learned a lot about portraits doing this.

One trick that has worked for me: I take photos, then tell people the shoot is over, then I take a shot of them. It works. The show is about a month away, and I’m getting excited. Seeing the photos George has printed made me feel very good about it. The photos were all taken with my monochrome black and white camera, it captures shades in a very special way.

Someone wrote that if you want to capture the soul of a person, shoot in black and white. I think this is true.

I am loving my work in black and white, and still experimenting with my IR camera. In the woods, I took this photo of Maria and the dogs, and I loved the Secret Garden feel it brought to the image.

My birthday is Monday, Maria is taking me off to Vermont to a beautiful inn we have heard a lot about from friends. We’ll be gone one night, Monday. I’ve planned a modest pre-birthday thing for Sunday, I’m taking Maria to see a Wendy Wasserstein play at the Williamstown Theater Festival.

The farm is running like a top this summer. We have firewood in the shed for winter, Ed Gulley will soon be bringing us some hay to store in the barn, our new system of rotational grazing has kept the animals fed and healthy (and Chloe from overeating) and we will have enough grass to get us to late October.

Whatever struck Deb has not infected the other sheep, everyone looks healthy. We have decided not to get a goat now, we have enough animals. This summer, we have acquired two new Romney sheep (beautiful wool for yard), rejected a cow, Guinea hens, more sheep, and a goat.

I think we are happy just where we are. This summer, a leap forward in my photography with the new IR camera sent me by Dan at maxmax.com, and the monochrome camera you all helped me to buy. I am especially loving black and white photography.

Maria is on a creative tear, she is making wonderful new potholders, hanging pieces and quilts and selling them quickly. Our gardens have matured and are especially beautiful this year. I am healthy and happy and much in love.

So a good mood for my 69th birthday, as Thomas Merton said, I am beginning to be old, but am not yet there. I am so much better at being old than being young. I am not living in great pain and fear, perhaps for the first time in my lengthening life. I am grateful for that. There is help, and it works.

This afternoon, we’re going to see George Forss who is printing up the photos for my portrait show at the Round House Cafe in September. Another gallery is interested in my showing the portraits there. George says the photos are obviously of people I love, and this is true.

I’ll check in later.