Day: March 29, 2017

I am tired tonight, I got up at 3 a.m. to come downstairs and work on my book “Lessons From Bedlam Farm.” The last few days have been intense – Christy, the Mansion, the refugees, Chloe’s leaving,  the farm, the immigration lawyers, the undocumented agricultural workers, the art kits, and I need to slow down a bit and clear my head.

It isn’t that I need to stop, quite the opposite, there is much to do, much to write, many photos to take. I need to stop again and ask myself what is it, exactly, that I am doing and trying to do.

I got some help this morning with a message from Carol, someone who has not always appreciated my writing or ideas. Many people come to my work because they want to see cute photos dogs and other farm animals, they understandably do not wish to be reminded of the exterior world.

Neither do I. The last few months have been a gift for me, because they have awakened me to the need to sometimes range beyond that, as I think I always have, only more consciously. I have no wish to publish a political blog, but I am eager to use my writing and experience to help others find peace in turbulent time and to understand our shared values and work to protect them.

As one reader told me yesterday, “we are living in a nightmare.” in many ways, this is true. Just ask the refugees, immigrants and agricultural workers, some of whom I am driving in desperation see to immigration lawyers, as they hear story after story of their friends and family members being torn away from their and sent back to a place without hope for them.

Carol was gracious enough to help define for me what I am trying to do and hoping to do, and I thank her for her letter:

“I have enjoyed reading your books and your blog for several years now. I was drawn to your writing because of my love for my dogs originally, and because of my work with my therapy dogs in the hospice area. But I have found your writing on other subjects to be quite profound. Grieving is one of them. But what has been a pleasant surprise for me is several of the topics in the last few months that have been on the political campaign. And then the last two days there have been some of the topics in your blog that are personally beneficial to me as I begin the healing process as I work through my grief in this post election period. I never thought Jon Katz would be the one to bring peace, and perspective to the chaos and confusion that surround my thoughts and emotions. Keep writing about politics, Jon. Many of us need to hear your thoughts. Many of us benefit from your wisdom.”

It is nice to hear that, Carol, sometimes I need other people to tell me what it is I am trying to do. I never thought Jon Katz would be doing those things at this time  either. Life is full of crisis and mystery.

I don’t wish to write too much about politics, I only write about it as it affects my thinking and life, I do not argue with people or tell them what to do. There are plenty of places to for political news, I don’t wish to be one of them.

But Carol wrote something that captured my heart when she wrote about her grieving after the election. When I take Camilia back to the immigration lawyer – we are going back in two weeks  – and I see the fear in this good and generous woman, I grieve. For her, for my grandmother, for my idea of my country. –

In a democracy, people will differ, sometimes my people win, sometimes not. But there is a lot of grief and fear in our world now, and if I can find a peaceful and hopeful perspective, as Carol suggests, I am eager to do that. I think I haven’t made clear that insofar as I can be peaceful and hopeful it is because of the animals I have had in my life.

The election has reminded me to define what it is I believe and to find a peaceful and positive way to express it. I am proud of the fact that I have not once been drawn into argument or self-righteousness by the election. I am growing up, learning to live, to try to do good, not to argue about doing good.

They have always made me wiser and better, they can do that if you listen to them. So thanks for the note Carol, I am happy to surprise and surpass expectations. That is what being creative is all about.

(We are seeking to raise $1,200 for between 80 and 90 art kits for refugee children in the upstate New York area. Any help would be appreciated, these are one-time donations in any amount. Thanks, you can donate here.)

The Mansion Art show begins next week and runs all through April. Your gifts and supplies take up three cabinets and a table in the activity room, several books arrived today – drawing books, colored pencils, mattes for frames, different sizes, pads, crayon, art board, markers, art paper.

A stamp pad is on the way

Julie Smith, the activity director, can’t believe it.  No one here has ever seen anything like it.

A boombox from Anne Boucher of Massachusetts also arrived today, along with art supplies and music, the box is already playing one of the scores of CD’s some of you have sent. I want you to see what you have done, and I will strive to capture the meaning of it.

The residents will be drawing all month and entering their work in a show to be held in the Great Room at the end of the month. Julie Smith, the activity director, says she has more than enough supplies and materials for the show, she is  greatful to the Army Of Good for your generosity and empathy.

Here is the latest list of Mansion residents who wish to receive your messages and gifts: Bruce., Allan ., Sylvie ., Jean G., Jane, John Z., John R., Alanna ., Peggie, Ellen B., Joan, Brenda, Connie, Alice, Madeline, Mary, Barbara, William, Brother Peter, Diane, Helen, Jean, Tim, Gerry, Dennis, Anita, Richard.

Thank you, and thanks to you, April will be a month-long celebration of voice, identity and the creative spark. I will share as many of their artworks as I can. Winners will be chosen at the end of the month, there will be a lot of winners. You did good, again. You keep the flame burning.

Today, we met Jane at the Mansion, this was her first day. Maria is a natural at this work, she talks easily to people and listens to them. Jane wants to get an art lesson so she can improve her drawings. It isn’t the kind of work Maria does, but we know someone who does. you can write Jane at The Mansion, 11 S.Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

Once a week or so, Maria comes with me and Red to the Mansion, she helps hang pictures and talks to the residents. Connie gets a lot of mail, she saves some to read to us when we come. Some she wants to share with us, some she needs some help understanding or interpreting.

This has become a sweet and touching ritual for us. Connie continues to receive bags and sacs of yarn – I call her room “Yarn World,” it is filling up with yarn. She is cranking out caps for newborn babies, and sweaters, scarves and mittens, all of which she gives away.

She says she does not need any more yarn, and I believe her.  Red and I sometimes have trouble squeezing into the room.

She loves getting and reading the letters. As we leave, she and Maria hug, and I have never hugged Connie. Today, as I left, she said, “what about a hug from you?” Connie, like me, does not show much emotion, but I was very happy to hug her and be hugged in return.

The reading of the letters is an important ritual for Connie, and for us. She is proud of these letters, she keeps them on a stack by her chair day and night. She always have several picked out and  ready for us to read. These messages mean so much to her. She still doesn’t believe people want to send them to her.

In early April, Connie is being driven to our farm by a Mansion aide, who will help with her oxygen tanks, tubes, walker and medicine. She was anxious about coming to visit us, she thought it would be too difficult to haul all of her medical equipment around. Thanks to the new van and Activity Director Julie Smith, we can do it.

Watching Connie struggle to figure out how to come to our farm, I was reminded once more of the complexity of being older. Connie can’t, of course, just get up and walk anywhere, she needs breathing tubes, and a fairly large oxygen tent nearby. She also has complex spinal issues.

We needed to understand that she will need  help and patience to make the trip and feel comfortable and safe. And she hates to be a bother. But we’ll get her there. Connie says she has enough yarn, and thanks, but you can writer her and the other Mansion resident at The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.

I had to nudge her a bit, and finally, just make a date with the staff. She said she would love to go. Maybe she can see Red work.

The trip is on the calendar for April 5th, Maria is anxious for Connie to see Maria’s studio, and perhaps work with her. It promises to be fun, for all of us, she and Maria have a strong connection with her. So do Red and I.

Fate will return to work in a day or so, she is no longer limping, she is walking, even running on all fours. Looks like a sprain, but we need to give it a rest. Border collies are skilled at looking forlorn when they can’t come along or work. They always want to come along and work.