8 May

Update: Red’s Long Day

by Jon Katz
Red’s Long Day

Red’s very long day began at 9 a.m. when he went to the vet and spent the day being tested for 100 different things and was on a hydrating IV in the hospital.

His blood work was good, his cell count healthy. No signs of Lyme Disease, insofar as the tests can show.

Red came home exhausted around 6 p.m. with the catheter still taped to his right arm, he’s going back to the hospital first thing in the morning for more tests, and then, on Wednesday, a specialist is coming to the hospital to perform an ultrasound check on his vital organs.

There is some focus on his liver.

I went to visit him several times, most recently at 3 p.m. He is always by my side and never leaves me when I am sick, and I wished to return the favor. He did not look good to me, as he lay in an enclosed area with a catheter tube dripping liquids into his dehydrated body. He seemed to me to be declining.

Dr. Suzanne Fariello and her staff – Lisa, Cassandra, Amy and Nicole – could not have been nicer, more thoughtful or thorough or honest or sensitive. They brought me a chair in the back room where Red was so I could sit with him and we had some beautiful moments, he put his head on my arm and slept. We communicated silently in the way that we do.

The simple truth – I will tell the truth – is that they don’t know what is wrong with him.

They are still trying to figure it out. It might be a liver or kidney issue, or even a blockage, or very possibly, some toxic plant or substance. At the end of the day, Dr. Fariello said she was obliged to mention the possibility of a tumor or other cancerous growth, she was not predicting or diagnosing that, she just needed to mention that it was something that could not be ruled out.

I appreciate her honesty, I was dreading the “c” word but sensed it was a possibility. Best to have it out in the open.

Everyone reading this has probably had a day as bad or worse than this one, it is a part of our lives with dogs, dependent and loving creatures who cannot speak or tell us how they feel.  It is part of our lives period, we all suffer, we all worry about the creatures, people and animal, that we love, sometimes they stumble and sometimes we lose them. It called life, and animal lovers know it as well as anyone.

But I am not there yet, Red is not there yet.

Red was definitely talking to me today, he was telling me he was hurting and felt badly and wished he could be home.

I thought over and over again of the good people at the Mansion and others in many places who love Red and want him in their lives, and I reminded myself not to get ahead of things, he might flip things around and be himself in the morning. We really don’t know what is wrong with him or how it can be treated.

I know he is feeling very poorly, it is evident in his eyes and body language. Here at home, he managed to get near me, and then simply collapsed. He is nothing like himself.

It was troubling that they could not bring his fever down, encouraging that he ate. Just a few minutes ago, I took him out to the pasture – I did not let him run – but he stood in front of the sheep and glared them into place. He looked good and strong there, but border collies are like that, their legs could be falling off and you wouldn’t know it if they are working. I only took him out for a minute.

(Warning: I did have a moment of dark humor when I was sitting at the vet holding Red’s head and I whispered to him, “you need to get better, pal, you can’t leave us alone with the Baby Monster.”) I think he appreciated that.

I called Dr. Karen Thompson, the breeder who gave me Red and she had no new information to give me about his health or genetics. She said he had never been sick a day in his life that she knew of.

I am fighting off past experience and memory – Rose, Lenore, Izzy, Frieda. Maria and I have shed many tears on that linoleum floor. The past has no bearing on the present, Red is not any of them, his path will be  his own.

At the end of the day, Red’s fever was back up over 104, it had come down a bit earlier. I was discouraged. The good news was that after we brought him home, he ate a little bit of the special nutritional dog food Dr. Fariello gave us, it was the first food he has consumed in days. (Some sunflower seed peanut butter egged him along.)

Maria and I agreed that we had been yo-yoing up and down all day, and we needed to be steady. This will reveal itself in its own time and way. We have to be grounded.

I will feed Red in quarter portions and hope he eats it all. He badly needs to eat. The  second try, he barely ate anything.

As I write this, Red walked slowly into my study and lay down at my feet, I was overjoyed to see it. It felt normal, even if it isn’t quite yet.

So many people have powerful connections to their dogs, we are a community in so many ways, and I am flooded with good and kind wishes for Red. He is a much loved dog. Maria loves Red dearly and is feeling his sickness acutely. She is also supporting me in every possible way. I am lucky.

It is always important to remember that everyone has had it worse than me, and everyone has hard battles to fight. No one challenge is more important than any other. I am humbled by this thought, and steadied.

Red refused to eat the second quarter of his food, even after I laced it with peanut butter and cheese. He seems nearly spent right now and weakening again. So it’s like that, up and down and up and down. I just don’t know, we will keep at it until we find the source of the problem, and then treat it if we can. In the meantime, I will be candid about what is happening and provide updates when I can.

We will do the best we can for as long as we can.

I believe Red is getting the best possible care, and I am optimistic. Insofar as we communicate, and he and I definitely do, I sense that he is not done with his work here on earth, and is not ready to leave me, Maria, or the many people whose spirits he lifts. That is what I feel and what I believe.

That is the latest news. We are due back at the vet first thing in the morning.

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