Day: May 11, 2017

Yesterday, we had some good news for Red – he does not have cancer, which we were concerned about.

Today, some hard news.

Red has tested positive on his titer tests for four different tick-born infectious diseases. It is the first time in the history of the veterinary practice that one dog tested positive at the same time for Lyme, Ehrlichia Canis, Rocky Mountain Fever, and the most severe and troubling test was for Anaplasma, it is a very serious infection.

Red is a very sick dog, and the vet is amazed at his  strength and stoicism. We don’t know how long he has been sick or how severe the infections have become  – the Anaplasma was off the charts, Dr. Fariello said.  And his fever is stubborn.

He will need rest and monitoring for at least a month. Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever is rare in upstate New York, he might have gotten this in Virginia before he came here.

She explained to me that this is not one of those take-a-few-pills- and-be-good-as-new kinds of things, Red will be weak and sick for a good long time.

Any of these infections can affect the heart, liver, kidney, blood flow or stomach and intestines. Red has had no solid food in two days and is showing signs of extreme fatigue, his fever is still high. This information, as troubling as it is, will give Dr.Fariello clear guidance on how to proceed.

Red is now on doxycycline, a powerful antibiotic used to treat Lyme. We hope he will improve at least somewhat over the next 48 hours. He goes back to the vet tomorrow, Friday, to be checked out before the weekend.

I need to be disciplined and focused about this, Red has always been by my side when I am ill. After my open heart surgery, he lay in bed with me for days on end, he never left my side. He can sense when I am tired or ill, he is right there. He is patient and healing, always.

I have to take good care of him. That means a different attitude for me,  rest and more  rest. He can come out to the pasture to stand and glower at the sheep, but that’s about it. No walks in the woods, no outruns with the sheep, no playing with Fate.

Depending on how he recovers,  I will take him to the Mansion for brief visits and perhaps to one or two hospice visits. My friend Kimberly, a therapist and animal communicator, said Red conveyed to her that he was exhausted, and he needed a lot of rest. I hear that, and I can see it. This will be a chance for me to grow.

I believe now that Red has come to me to show me and the people in his life the depths of compassion. What a strange thing to say, yet I know it is true. I feel him also telling me very clearly that he is tied, and needs to rest. There’s a lot for me to learn here, a lot of space for me to grow and change.

For one dog to test positive for these four different kinds of infectious diseases is serious, I won’t lie to you or myself about it. But it seems clear to me that Red is not ready to leave us, his work is not yet done. And he has never been more necessary or needed.

Our goal is to knock the fever and infections down with antibiotics, with some acupuncture and some special food supplements. He needs to eat for strength and to fight off the infections raging through his body. We’ll meet with Dr. Fariello tomorrow to figure out what else we can do.

Red goes back to the vet tomorrow afternoon. I might know some more. Thanks so much for your support.

The pansies have returned, a harbinger of the season of light and color, good news for a light and color addict like me. Pansies have rich colors, and when the sun is behind them, they glow.

I have a friend named Kimberly, she lives in Minnesota, she is a healer and an animal communicator, we spoke this morning, and she told me she came to Red last night and talked to him. She said she had never communicated with an animal like him, she was in tears feeling the power of his empathy and compassion.

She told me that Red is not finished with his work, that he came here to show me and others the depths of compassion, he has cracked open my heart and helped me see that hate is a sickness, and that we all suffer.   He has helped me to open up and to see the power of doing good.

Hate and anger and cruelty are not in his body or soul, he does not see or recognize either, and this is something I am learning from him. I know from people’s response to him that he has a special gift, he can touch the souls of people in ways I have not seen before.

In our time, and in our world, we will all confront hatred and anger and fear, and our test as human beings is how to respond with grace and feeling, rather than rage and resentment. Isn’t this what dogs do, what Red does, every day?

Kimberly was direct, she told me that my challenge now was to recognize Red’s exhaustion and discomfort, and to give  him the time he needs to rest and to heal.

There was a time in my life when I would not have been able to hear this, I was too broken myself,  but I know Kimberly and trust her, and she simply went to the heart of it with me and with Red. What she said makes sense to me, and she grasps my feelings as clearly as she grasps his. Some people can see things the rest of us can not, I think she is one of them.

Red touches people in a way I have not seen other dogs or people touch human  beings.

He has no judgment, is open to everyone. In a sometimes hateful world, we are called up to summon our own empathy and compassion, both are the hallmarks of humanity. While others choose to argue, I resolve to do good, and keep on doing good. This is grounding me, showing me a deeper and richer way to live in the world.

Red told Kimberly he still feels miserable, and that he needs to sleep. She said I was correct to bring him briefly out to the sheep, to restore his focus and dignity get his body working properly again. She called it lying on the land, I love that expression.

Red has cracked open my heart, because he has done so much for me, and meant so much to me. He is my soul dog and companion in life. He will die, as all living things will die, and I will deal with it and move on.

But his illness made me see what he has meant, why he has come, and how much more work there is for us to do.

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Deep breath all around today, I think. Red is still not eating, and he has a fever, and he is miserable, I think. But there are no growths and tumors in his body, so we are moving forward. We didn’t learn yet what he has, but we did learn what he doesn’t have. More results coming in tomorrow, and we will go from there

Everybody’s best guess is an infectious disease, perhaps related to Lyme, which is getting worse all around the country. I imagine whatever else comes up is treatable. I appreciated this week just how much Red means to me and to other people, something that is sometimes too close for me to see.

Somehow, Red signaled to me that he was not ready to leave this world, and somehow, I heard it. I was listening only to the vet, not to him or to myself. Kimberly said she sensed the same thing, and I found Kimberly to be clear and credible and grounded.

Modern medicine distrusts fevers and is eager to knock them out with powerful medications, but if the fever is not too high, it may well be the body working hard to heal itself. This is something of a new way to look at fevers, and I am thinking about it. Patience is not my strong suit, and Red, I am sure,  knows it. He will do anything I ask, but I need to be careful about what I ask, and for a good while, perhaps even a month or more.

Red will live, and he will heal. But he is so tired, I can see it, and i have to respect it as well.

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So animals like dogs are teaching me again, as they have before. A dog has entered my life once more, and marked a passage and challenged me to grow and evolve and be open to the glory of the world and of all the rich tapestry of being human.

We can feel things no other animal feels, and that is  blessing and a curse.

Another magical helper with a tail is here, come to walk with me on the hero journey. Another angel  to remind me that the greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves. Another good reason to tell the truth.

So when Red is well, he and I will continue our journey together, and until then, I will continue it on my own. It’s good to know backup is on the way