2 October

Can Bill Find Rebirth At The Mansion?

by Jon Katz
Seeking Rebirth

I went to see Bill At The Mansion today, he was out sitting in the sun at a construction nearby. He seemed tired to me, a bit less focused than before, a bit less jubilant than when he was able to read a letter – or anything – for the first time in more than a year.

Bill is seeking to re-connect with the gay community, so important to him. He is getting letters and messages and candy and cakes and cupcakes, and his morale has soared.

He is no longer saying he has little to live for. And he is smiling. Still, there are good days and bad days.

I have worked with stroke victims before, and I know recovery is not a straight line, there are many ups and downs and twists and turns. There were two very significant developments in Bill’s to get his life back today.

One was that I received a long and quite wonderful letter from his daughter (I can’t reveal any of it or her name without her permission). The other was bringing him a new hardcover mystery from one of his favorite writers.

Bill’s daughter was thanking me for helping her father and also filling me in on some of the details of his life so I might be able to understand him and help him. Bill’s life is a roller coaster in many ways, filled with difficulties and conflicts with his family. His daughter was estranged from him for some, time and re-connected with him after his stroke in 2014, which left  him paralyzed on his right side, and unable to walk or speak well.

Bill’s New Book

He was re-united with his  two daughters after the stroke, “he burst into tears when he saw  us and told us he was afraid he would never see us again.” The family needed to find a new home for Bill after his long rehabilitation in a special nursing home. “I wanted to keep him in close proximity, yet I wanted  to make sure it was a nice place where he would be happy and well cared for. I finally found the Mansion in Cambridge and reached out to them and moved Dad in February of this year. I feel so lucky to have found the Mansion. The home is beautiful and the staff are just incredible. I sleep well at night knowing that Dad is so well cared for.”

I appreciate the  letter about Bill, it is powerful and helpful. It speaks to the great trauma of stroke victims and their families, the difficult choices they make, the great struggles they must try to overcome together. Bill has many difficulties with his family, I can’t really talk about them. He was fortunate that they rushed to his side after the stroke.

If I’m permitted to, I will share some more details of Bill’s life, with his permission and that of his daughter’s. There is no need to share all of it. He is grateful for his daughter’s presence in his life. I hope to meet her soon, her letter was thoughtful, compassionate, honest and impressive.

I went to the Battenkill Bookstore today and bought Bill the new James Patterson novel, Haunted. His daughter says he read three to five novels a week before the stroke. As I expected, the sight of the book made him nervous, but the experts say stroke patients need to be pushed a bit.

I said if he could read letters, maybe it was  time to return to books. He seemed hesitant and  uncertain, I left the book on his dresser and suggested he give it a try later on. He stared at it with some trepidation and said a book was different from a letter.

Yes, I said, it was, but the first paragraph of a book was no longer than the first paragraph of a letter. How about one paragraph at a time? I’m not sure if Bill is ready for this or not, he will decide. I just wanted the option to be there. As a voracious reader, that is a powerful incentive for him to try reading again.

Bill’s daughter was brave and loving, sending me that letter. It will be a tremendous help in supporting Bill.

I’ll see Bill again in a day or so. The Army of Good is funding an Octoberfest meal and celebration at the Mansion just before November. Details to come.

If  you wish to write  Bill – he is especially looking to  hear from gay men and women – the address is Bill, c/o The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. If you wish to donate to the Mansion program, you write send your donation to Post Office Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816 or via Paypal, [email protected].

Please mention The Mansion.

And thanks, Bill is working hard at rebirth, with new support from the gay community – some very  beautiful letters are coming to him – and the Mansion staff. Reading would mark a huge breakthrough for Bill in his struggle to regain his life. We’ll keep at it, in a day or two I’ll read some of the new Patterson book to him.

Your support of this work is much appreciated. Today, more than ever, I felt the pull to do good, for my sake as well as the benefit of others.

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