10 October

Empathy, The Highest Calling: A Telephone Call That Mattered. When Health Care Is Human

by Jon Katz
The Highest Human Calling

Last week, a doctor examining me heard a heart murmur, not so scary in and of itself, but concerning given my history of heart disease and open heart surgery. The cardiologist wanted an echo-cardiogram right away, and I was wondering if my appearance at the Open House and our trip to New Mexico was in doubt. I was also dealing with the discovery of a retinal problem that could lead to blindness, and was also scheduled for intensive eye exams.

For a bit there, I wondered if I wasn’t falling apart, I spent so many unhappy years in good health, and now that I am happy, the wolves are closing in. Gloomy and self-pitying, but I did have those thoughts.

I wrote a letter to Karen, my quite wonderful nurse-practitioner. It was Karen who got me to control my diabetes and Karen who rushed me to the hospital when I was having a heart attack and may well have saved my life.

When I finished my heart tests, the tech thanked me, and I said “well, what happens next, do I go home or to the hospital?” She seemed surprised by the question, and said I was free to go home, someone would be in touch with me if there was anything to say.

My doctor was not around, I dd not see him or hear from him. I took it as a promising sign that I was not rushed to the hospital nearby, yet I did wonder if the simpler truth was that no doctor had a chance to look at it yet. I was mildly relieved. When I got home there was a letter from Karen discussing my latest blood tests. They were very good save for one cholesterol number she didn’t like, she said it was not urgent we would discuss it in November.

I wrote her a letter back thanking her and telling her about the eye trouble and the heart murmer.

A couple of days went by and I didn’t hear a world from the cardiologist. I guess I didn’t really expect to, I have never called him and he has never called me. Doctors don’t really do that anymore, if they need to speak with you, they have a nurse all or they schedule an appointment.

Our appointments are very brief, and mostly, they are an exchange date. Data is his bible.

As Monday came along,  I guessed there was just nothing to tell me, although I did wonder if they just hadn’t gotten to it yet.

Monday night, we went out to dinner and to take my weekly photo of Kelly Nolan. When we got home, there was a message from Karen. She had gotten my letter, she said, and gotten hold of the echocardiogram.

She didn’t know if anyone had contacted me about it, but she just wanted to tell me there was nothing on it that suggested valve trouble or the need for additional surgery. She just wanted me to know that, and she didn’t want me to worry.

In the last six or seven years, I have been diagnosed with diabetes and had open heart surgery. In that time, no doctor or nurse of any kind has ever called me up except to remind me of an appointment and ask me to bring my insurance card. I have spent some long and lonely days and nights waiting for news.

Empathy no longer fits into our idea of health care, we are too busy fighting about money and politicians and robber baron pharmaceutical  executives. The system can’t afford to worry about how it communicates with people, it is too bound by lawyers and regulators and an angry and litigious public.

It’s safe to say nothing, to meet briefly, to adhere to date – test results and studies that protect from lawsuits.

I appreciate Karen’s call. She is an ethical and empathetic health care provider, I am sorry to say I have not met many, and all of them have been women.

I do know there are many others in the health care system. My sense is that very few of the empathetic healers are male physicians, and I was very touched by the simple humanity involved in Karen’s telephone calls. Such calls are rare in my experience, almost all communications are brief, guarded, and unfathomable, e-mails or guarded letters.

I will go on vacation with Maria able to put this murmur behind me, at least for now. A simple phone call made that possible, and I thank Karen for making it, she is a true healer, she sees more in me that test results.

It was a small thing for her to do, but a good one, it made me feel safe and important enough to contact, to pick up a phone and call me. Somethings – like my life – merit an actual conversation. Karen knows this, most of the doctors I know do not.

Small things matter in a world where people are forgetting to talk to one another, and communicate almost entirely through machines.

I understand now that my cardiologist will not ever call me about this test, and I also understand that I am supposed to see that as good news. After all, if anything was wrong, wouldn’t someone have told me?  If there was something seriously wrong, I would be in the hospital right now, I know that.

But a heart murmur is a big deal for someone with heart disease, because it often leads to valve surgery, another and very intense kind of open heart surgery. Stopping my heart again. It’s good to know for sure I don’t need to do that now. She stood in my shoes for a bit.

Karen didn’t need to call me, she didn’t give me the tests. She is empathetic, the highest human calling to me.

Karen reminded me that she is human and I am human, worthy of  some empathy and consideration. How keenly I feel this loss in our world today, and how good it felt to be treated like a human by another human, and a very good one.

 

4 Comments

  1. I’m sorry your health care experiences are overall not good/empathic. We are luckier here in our town of about 12,000 in the Midwest. If I don’t hear back on something, I can call and talk to the nurse (yes, not usually the doctor) who will make sure I understand everything and talk to the doctor for me to be sure. We were recently in our (smallish) hospital for some scopes on my husband. He eats there for lunch most days (the food is inexpensive and he has men he enjoys who work and eat there, that he can visit with). On our way there he said he hoped he’d get Myk as his nurse–we did, Myk was very caring, answered our questions, reassured us, told me that Tom’s limping is getting much worse, as he’s noticed when he comes into the lunchroom, so probably time for a knee replacement. The doctor also joked a little and told us how it went after the scope. Our primary care doctor used to be our neighbor and has helped when we needed quick access to a specialist for various needs. I wish you, and most Americans, had a better experience with our health care system. It’s surely a very flawed one and needs reworking.

  2. Yes, those “Karen’s” out there are the best..only wish the practice of medicine had a lot more of them. You described the importance of communication that is so rare nowadays.. empathy is beyond golden.

  3. You are so right about all this. I have had similar experiences. Those few real healers are so valuable and I never know how to tell them how important they are. But they do what they do as a matter of course. Their reward will be great karma. Bless them.

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