Day: December 8, 2017

One of the recurring mysteries in my life with a fiber artist is that, from time to time, my jeans vanish.

It is true that I sometimes throw them out when they get worn – you will undoubtedly hear that this is where they go –  but it is also true that the question “do you need those jeans you are wearing now?” while I am still wearing them suggests something now raises alarms.

“Of course,” I huff, “I”m wearing them?” Oh, she says, eyeing them hungrily, the way she looks at an ice cream cone in the summer. I know they are doomed.

I have a stack of jeans in my dresser and it will be no surprise to any of you that I have no idea how many jeans I have or where they go when they disappear. Today I had some insight, Maria invited me into her studio to see a beautiful and very creative quilt (it is already sold) and pointed out proudly that my jeans play a prominent role in the quilt, especially around the center.

The worn out parts around the center and below, she said, were the knee parts of my jeans, they are worn in a particular way that adds to the colors in her quilt. There is no sign of the rest of the jeans, although they may well pop up in a different quilt.

I am proud to see my jeans again, and used in so creative a way. I am happy they have been reborn and will live. I am uneasy about keeping the rest of them intact, art is a hungry enterprise, it is never really fed.

To be honest, I didn’t even know the jeans were gone. All of the knee parts of my jeans are worn.

A fair number of my articles of clothing – jeans, shirts, undershirts, even socks – have also vanished in this manner, and sometimes I see where they live now and wish them well, and sometimes I don’t.

As to my wife, she expresses shock and dismay when I ask how she got these jeans or shirts or underwear. She has no idea, she says,  showing me a mask of perfect innocence.

they just seem to show up in her studio. I wonder if I could get a commission for my jeans.

The refugees have had a tough year in so many ways, it is a pleasure to pass along a chunk of good news.

First, Cheryl Lasser, the RISSE Development Director, told me today that the Army Of Good’s Winter Clothing drive for the refugees and immigrants in and around Albany has been a big success. She said they have received many shipments of clothing from all over the country  in great quantity, excellent condition and lots of variety.

And the clothes are still coming. They are, she says, of the highest quality.

She wanted me to thank those of  you donating both used and new winter clothes. She asked me to remind people that in addition to clothes, people can also donate gift cards to affordable department stories and outlets like Amazon, Target or Wal Mart so the refugees can also purchase food or household items.

I am urging RISSE to set up an Amazon gift page so people can see the items that are needed and choose the ones they wish to donate. You can also donate directly to RISSE here. And thanks, the clothes continue to flood in, and are so appreciated and needed.

This was an important step in my efforts to engage with the immigrants and refugees at RISSE, many are wary of outside help, especially in this culture.

The RISSE address is 715 Morris Street, Albany, N.Y., 12208.

Also, nice news. Ali called today to report that the young RISSE women met and decided they wish to form a girl’s basketball team in 2018. Ali is tickled – only one woman wanted to play soccer this past year – she was the goalie – and he will coach the team. I saw firsthand how complex and difficult this process was for him. Good for him for sticking it out.

The team’s first meeting will be right after Christmas and I’ll be there to take some photos.

I know they will need uniforms, just like the boys, but we’ll wait on that. The girls also chose to name their basketball team “The Bedlam Farm Warriors,” on the front of their jerseys and “RISSE” on the back,  again despite my protests. The boy’s uniforms cost $1,000 all told, but we can wait and deal with that after the holidays.

Word is the girls want more color than the black-and-white uniforms of the boys. And obviously, I need to do as well for them as we did for the boys.

Several people have expressed displeasure that they have not seen more photos and activities of the RISSE girls, but people who know this culture understand that dealing with the young women of RISSE is quite different from dealing with the men, especially for male strangers from the outside who are new to this country. These people have been through a lot and have suffered greatly, I respect their caution and will never pressure them.

The United States is very different in many of its customs and traditions.

I have met and spoken with a number of these girls and women now and am earning their trust and also learning to respect and understand the culture they come from. Taking their pictures is a very big deal sometimes.

One complexity is Red, who is universally adored in his therapy work but who terrifies so many of the refugees and immigrants when they see him. Many run and hide to get away from, or leave a room that he is in.

This is very new to him and also to me, and I am trying to figure out how to work through it. I think it puzzles Red to see people running from him, in many of the origin countries, where people starve all the time, it is inconceivable to feed and shelter a dog, or make one a pet.

As with the Mansion, I respect the boundaries of the institutions I work with, and I do not ever tell administrators or staff what to do, make decisions for them,  impose my values, lecture them about   our own cultural traditions or politics, or make choices about what activities are being offered.

And Ali is a saint, he works tirelessly with all of the children at RISSE seven days a week, day and night, all year-long. They are so lucky to have him, and they love him dearly. He cares for them as a mother or father would.  He is a brother to me.

It took months for me to get permission to talk to these boys and photograph them, none of it would have happened without Ali.

It has been compelling for me to see the cultural differences among the refugees and immigrants. Many girls do not wish to play with or around boys, some don’t want to be photographed, they have rejected dance programs and some other activities. Some parents are terrified of the Internet, and have never seen a blog.

Many of their parents object to American style competitive sports, there is no equivalent in their original countries.

So this is exciting and an opportunity for me.

Ali works closely with the girls as well as the boys, and brings the same spirit and devotion to them. Some of these kids are shy, but they love to win and compete with courage and determination.

The girl’s basketball beam will offer another neat thing for me to photograph and write about it.

I’ll have to work to earn some trust. The boys soccer team was my way into this tight and sometimes closed world, and they are in great need of support. I will continue to support them in any way I can.

Other good news:

Ali wants to take the boys on the soccer team for a one day trip to New York City, mostly to see Times Square and ride an Open Decker tour bust around Manhattan. This trip will be over the Xmas break. He will need some help in funding that trip, I’ll start making inquiries about the cost – mostly parking food and tickets for the busses.

Beyond that, on their holiday break from school, it looks like the RISSE soccer team will be coming to the Mansion to meet with the residents, talk with them.

Mansion Director Morgan Jones is enthusiastic about this idea – I have to say she is great to work with – and wants to offer the boys a fudge sundae festival when they come. They will get to make their own fudge sundaes.

Ali is thrilled with the idea, so I am working with both of them to make it happen. How wonderful that would be.

They are excited on both sides, and it will be a powerful thing for these two groups to come together. The Army Of Good has supported both of them faithfully and generously. This will happen after Christmas.

So this is a great and successful work for this work, not and for the future. I feel we are just getting started on this idea of doing good, learning how best to do it, picking our movements thoughtfully and with restraint.

I am excited about 2018. I wish all of you great success and I wish us great and good work together.

Friday morning, I’m glad to see it. I’ve had a particularly intense week and a good one. Everywhere I went, I saw and felt the good deeds of the Army Of Good. Clothes arriving at RISSE, boxes of Christmas Joy arriving at the Mansion along with a horse carriage next week, letters heading for Kelly Nolan, winter boots heading for the soccer team and the RISSE children.

It felt good to be alive. It felt meaningful to be alive, I am happily wallowing in my own kind of Christmas. This weekend, quiet..we hope to see a movie, The Florida Project, I will review. My writing class is cancelled, as I am taking some Mansion residents to the Hubbard Hall Arts Center Christmas Breakfast.

Sunday, I’ve been invited along with Maria to have some pizza with the RISSE soccer team, I think we will accept that invitation. Their favorite pizza place is just outside of Albany. I love these days, and helping them out is one of the great joys of my life. Thanks for your help. I think I’ll have a quiet hour this afternoon holed up in front of the wood stove listening to Gillian Welch and Patti Smith and reading a book by Jackson Katz (no relation) on how to be a better man.

A good and timely idea. Now, heading out to pick up some lunch for me and Maria. Here on the farm, I am the Hunter-Gatherer, foraging for good while the artist makes magic in her studio. I better get going, she gets awful testy when she’s hungry.

I’m not ashamed to admit it, I have come to love Kelly as I’ve gotten to know her. In a sense, it’s what I call Portrait Love, there is an intimacy to photographing someone for a long period of time, especially when it comes to portraits. You get to know a person in a particularly way.

Kelly turned out to be an influential figure in my life, she is the Godmother of the Army Of Good. A little more than a year ago we were having dinner at the Bog (Foggy Notions) bar and restaurant, and I got to know Kelly a little bit.

Her very radiant smile caught my eye, and when I asked her if could do a portrait, she didn’t blink, she said sure. A strong woman. That day, she had taken her dying pregnant mixed breed dog to the vet for emergency treatment, she was struggling in childbirth.

The vet saved one or two of the pups, and the mother. Kelly said she had a $1,300 vet bill, she said it was worth every penny to save her dog and she would do it again in a heartbeat. She was uncomplaining and generous, as usual.

I had this idea, which I kept to myself. I had all these good and loving readers out there, many if not most, passionate dog, cat or animal lovers. And my blog had grown quite a bit, nearly four million hits a year.

What if we surprised Kelly by paying her vet bill and rewarding her for her big heart and commitment to her dog. Kelly works very hard and does not make a lot of money, she would have been paying off that bill for some time.

So I mentioned this idea on my blog. I asked people to send checks. It took two days for them to arrive, and we had the money instantly. We took them to the bank, deposited them, and wrote  check to Kelly for the full amount, and wrote another check, the overage for $200 to a local animal shelter.

I was shocked and delighted. I saw that the power of the Internet to do great good instead of just sowing division and argument. I remember thinking about the possibilities for doing good.

I went to Kelly’s house to take a photo of her – she wanted to let everyone see the pups and thank them. Other than that, i have never spent any time with Kelly outside of the Bog. Yet I could not feel closer to here than I do. It’s strange how chemistry works, and I am grateful that Kelly has trusted me all year to take her portrait once or twice a week.

For me, Kelly embodies the Christmas spirit. She did so much good without even knowing it.

I remember thinking, what if Donald  Trump used his Twitter Account, which now has 42 million subscribers, to do good each day, to raise money for a needy person or a good cause. The possibilities were bone-rattling.

Why not use the blog in a new way, not only to be read but also to do good for people who are so inclined. That, it turns out, is a lot of people.

So in my own much smaller way, and inspired by Kelly’s big heart, I set out to do a much smaller version of that. The Army of Good was born, although I didn’t think to call it that for a couple of months.

We started helping the Mansion residents, buying them air conditioners, lift chairs, clothes, books, getting them letters and holiday gifts and clothes and decorations, an outdoor chair and table set, even a van to get them to doctor’s appointments and  outings.

We began supporting a refugee soccer team in Albany and the boys and girls in their after school program. We bought art supplies, books, projectors, clothes, sent money for tuition, to help parents pay of loans, for scholarships to local classes, snow clothes for boys and girls.

We even got the boy’s soccer team new uniforms, they are much in need right now.

Kelly inspired all of this in a way, money for her vet bill was perhaps the very first deed of the Army Of Good.

I’ve always admired and respected Kelly, watching the graceful and warm way in which she does her difficult job. She is uncomplaining, always ready to smile, patient and even-tempered. I have come to love here these days, Portrait Love is a special kind of love.

I believe that in order to take a good portrait, you have to love the subject. It shows. Thanks Kelly, for the good you are conscious of, and for the good you may not realize you have spawned. And thanks for letting me take your picture.

You have brightened the days of a great many people with your smile and grace.

I thought it would be a lovely thing if those of you who have been following Kelly might wish to send her a Christmas or holiday card. I think she would love it, and I would be grateful.

The address would be Kelly Nolan, Foggy Notions, 52 East Main Street, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. Thanks.

Maria and I have been together for a decade now, and it is always a fascinating thing for me to reflect on the ways we are so much alike and the ways in which we are so different. Somehow, it fits.

In all of my life, I have never darned a sock, asked to have a sock darned, or thought of darning a sock with a hole in it. I’m a big man with flat feet and my socks often sprout holes. For all of my life, I have taken those socks and thrown them away and bought new socks.

I would no sooner darn a sock that fly over the moon. Maria, on the other hand, is quite often darning socks, she darns them when we sit and talk, when we have breakfast, sometimes while we are sitting by the fire or reading.

She does it in a flash, she pulls a needle out of somewhere – I have no idea where – and some thread, and sews confidently and skillfully, and continues to wear the sock. The idea of buying a new sock when there is only one or two tiny holes is completely alien to her.

I think one of the many things I have learned living with Maria is to celebrate our differences as well as our similarities. We respect each other’s choices. It is sad to see Americans learning more and more to hate people who differ with them. I hope I never do that.

Sock darning is a small thing – although on farms a very old and enduring thing – but that has meaning too in such a divided and angry world.

I know I will never darn a sock or even think of darning a sock, but I admire her ingenuity and simplicity. I would never belittle her (sometimes I call her cheap) and she never is annoyed that I throw so many things away. We just accept one another.

Maybe I’ll get there. But I’ve also learned to be realistic about myself. When socks wear out, I give them away or throw them away. Maria loves the earth and is always thinking of it.