15 January

Review, “The Post” – A Morality Play For That Time And Our Time

by Jon Katz
Portrait: Gus On The Sofa

It was curious going to see the “Post,” the new movie about publication of The Pentagon Papers,  how Katherine Graham, the country’s first female newspaper publisher and Ben Bradlee, the brilliant pirate editor of The Washington Post, exposed the lies of four different presidents about the Vietnam War, at great risk to themselves and the future of the paper.

I worked for the Washington Post as a reporter in the late 70’s, I worked for Mrs. Graham and Bradlee.

I am not drawn to nostalgia, I don’t ever really care to go backwards in my life, but the picture was emotional for me, it reminded of a simpler time for journalism, before the rise of extremist and divisive media, cable news, and a President who does not seem to believe in or understand the role of a free press in a democracy.

Obviously, this was the point of the movie, an unbalanced President – Richard Nixon – and an unbalanced President – Donald Trump, both of whom despised the very idea of a free press and who cannot endure any kind of criticism or scrutiny.

Graham was threatened with arrest and imprisonment if she published the then Top Secret Pentagon Papers, a stunning and detailed account of how four governments sent thousands of soldiers to their deaths knowing that the war could not be won.

I know there is no going back to those days, especially these days, but I loved being a journalist and was nearly on fire at the sense of moral purpose many of us had about our work – to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comforted.  Our world is obsessed with the “left” and the “right,” but my colleagues and I never thought that way or talked that way.

Everybody had their own truth, but not their own facts.  We were chosen, we felt, to keep a check on ruthless and corrupt power.

It was curious seeing my life being portrayed in a film as history.

I managed to ruin the careers of some crooked politicians in my time as a journalist and even sent a few to jail. I always thought my work had a great moral purpose to it, that is was an integral part of living in a free society. I guess I took it for granted that everyone else thought so too.

I was assigned to the Watergate story in its early days, but played no great role in its coverage, Woodward and Bernstein captured the story and hung onto it. I disliked Washington, and left to work at the Boston Globe in a city much more suited to the kind of journalism I wanted to do.

In my time in Washington, I was keenly and admiringly aware of the towering presence both of Mrs. Graham and Ben Bradlee, two icons in journalism, the likes of which have not been seen since their departure and deaths. I suppose they put the high water mark on journalism and its purpose.

The movie is wonderfully acted by Meryl Streep as Graham and Tom Hanks as Bradlee. It was produced by Steven Spielberg, three famed liberal Hollywood icons who have staunchly defended the idea of a free press, especially against President Trump’s unrelenting attacks. There is great irony in watching a President, who lies as easily as he breathes, trashing the media almost daily for being fake.

Spielberg’s masterful movie touch is on display in this movie, which rockets along without a single unnecessary scene. Streep brilliantly captures the evolution of Mrs. Graham from an overwhelmed and dismissed publisher to one of the most famous and admired publishers in the world.

It is true that a lie repeated often enough will take root and grow, no matter how false it might be. This is the elemental lesson of the demagogue, and Trump knows it well. No demagogue loves the press, ever.

The movie tells the very intimate story of a women caught in a man’s world, of whom nothing is expected. She grasps the significance of her moment, and rises to it, thus becoming a role model for women everywhere. She risked everything she had to support the idea of a free press, took on a vicious and unforgiving government, and won. It is a stirring story, beautifully and faithfully rendered.

When she took over The Post after her brilliant husband, Phil Graham, committed suicide, she admits to being terrified and overwhelmed. When her moment came, she saw it and took it and found out she was both wise and brave, a patriot as well as a shrewd businesswoman.

Cheering for the press is one element, but an equally powerful target of the movie is women – the way they were treated, the obstacles they face, the taunts and cruelties they endured, and today, their continuing struggle against violence and harassment. In a way, the movie is aimed more at women than journalists I think.

Curiously, Mr. Trump seems to have  revived a struggling and diminished media in America, his media enemies are gaining readers and subscribers by the millions, and seem in some cases to have found their real purpose once more – to taunt the powerful and shed light on darkness.

The more the President attacks them, the better and more popular they become. I suspect he will eventually learn the same lesson Richard Nixon learned, there is no clubbing or scaring them into behaving, something in a real journalist just hates being told what to do or write, and is not prone to pandering.

Mr. Trump is fortunate he does not have a Benjamin Bradlee on his tale, the fearless and dashing Blackbeard of journalism, that would have made even this most arrogant of men afraid.

I recommend this movie to anyone who loves a good story, appreciates great acting, wishes to be entertained, wants to understand the role of a free press in a democracy, or wants to be inspired by the story of a frightened and patronized woman who finds her power and her truth and makes history.

Aside from everything else, “The Post” is just a great movie, really well done,  it moves like a runaway train and doesn’t waste a minute, it ends up giving us an important civic and constitutional lesson combined with the raw and gutsy suspense of an early Indiana Jones movie.

As for me, Maria, who also loved the movie, asked me at dinner if it made me wish I was back there in the Post or some other newsroom. I didn’t have to think about it, I said no, I almost never look back or want to go back, I do not romanticize the old days.

The movie made me sad for the struggles of journalism, but I never fall into the trap of thinking the old days were better than the new days. Every old fart in the world has thought that for all human history.

My journalism world is long gone, and I have given rebirth to myself, in a world that I love very much. Had I stayed in journalism, the last few years – the corporate takeovers, layoffs, rise of cable news and countless hate sites, the rise of the left and the right, the Sean Hannity and cable shrieking era  – I would have been miserable, and probably dead by now.

“The Post” reminds of how lucky it was to work in journalism during it’s golden time, and how lucky I am to be living where I am and with who, and writing my books and my blog and taking my photos.

A friend of mine is always telling me how overwhelmed he is in his life, how unhappy and pressured, and I always have to bite my tongue (sometimes my tongue bites me) and say, hey, you chose your life just like I chose mine. Don’t speak poorly of it, don’t blame anyone else for it.

If you don’t like it, change. He can’t hear that, I know, most people don’t want to change, but we are friends anyway. He has to live his own life.

I don’t expect everyone to share my philosophy, and I don’t need everyone to agree with me.

This is the life I chose, and this is the life I will live.  I really can’t blame it on anyone else – my parents, bosses, fate or bad luck. Most people don’t want to change, and often remain trapped in their unfulfilled lives.

Life is a series of choices, and we are all responsible for them.

“The Post” brought back some wonderful memories for it, but it also reminded me of how grateful I am to have changed. There is really not much that is sadder about the life of an aging and embittered journalist – i know many.

The movie is a movie for our time as much as it is for another one.

It bristles with relevance, for people who work in journalism, for people who consume journalism, for people who love democracy, for women seeking to find dignity and voice in a world being ravaged and ruined by angry men in suits.

There is an especially poignant and symbolic scene in the movie as Graham leaves the Supreme Court building after the hearing that would determine the fate of the paper. She walks through a vast crowd of quiet, smiling you women, to whom she became an overnight hero. I doubt the scene really occurred, but it was  a neat touch by Spielberg, it connected Mrs. Graham to 2018, and the rise of so many other women.

Those are themes we can all think about. And if you like to think rather than argue, you’ll like this movie very much. If your kids are idealistic at all, bring them along. There’s not a single explosion or car crash in the film.

 

15 January

Gus’s Me Journal: 115/18. Dreams Of Vomit And Odor Off

by Jon Katz
It was bitter cold this morning, I fell asleep  holding Gus upright. He went to sleep too.

Gus has a bad morning Saturday, he has a very good day yesterday, and – fingers crossed – a very good day so far today. I am feeding him four times a day in small amounts. He has regained almost all of the weight he lost the last week. We are used to the ups and downs of this disease without a beginning or an end, but overall, Gus is on a good  track, a good path.

As is often the case with megaesophagus,  we don’t really know why one day is better than the others.

A lot of good and important things happened to us this weekend, but megaesophagus is clearly on our minds, we both had dreams about Gus and vomiting last night, in my dream I was spraying Odor Off all night. We listen constantly for that now familiar gurgle.

When Maria and I woke up this morning, the first thing we didn’t talk about our work, what we said to one another was “Gus didn’t vomit or spit up once yesterday.” That’s where we are these days.

A friend who has been reading the blog says Gus’s illness has “done away with your tough guy image.” I told her I didn’t know I had a tough guy image.

But still, there is the feeling in both of us that we are making headway, that the chuck-ups, as we call them, are much less frequent, and Gus looks great, if he were any more active, he’s spin-off into the air like a helicopter.

We have become Olympic Class vomit cleaners, rushing to the site with a can of disinfectant and one of odor repellent and five or six strips of paper. My best time is under a minute, nobody I know of can touch me, although Maria is pretty fast.

We are trying to keep track of even the most minor changes to see what might be making a difference.

What are we doing differently than before? Medications and nutrition.

With puppies like Gus, the two big killers from megaesophagus are malnutrition and aspirational pneumonia.

We had a bad scare last week when he began dropping weight and getting sluggish.

There are no signs of pneumonia and the weight is mostly back on, it seemed to be a nutrition problem. Puppies can sometimes outgrow megaesophagus, older dogs do not. Gus is nine months old, and is only technically a puppy.

People online tell me that with great care, their megaesophagus dogs have “some good years.” This is not a phrase I like or find reassuring, we are striving to do better.

As Gus regains his weight, we see he is busy, happy, energetic, playful, hungry,  affectionate and alert. He does not appear to be a sick dog. Dogs in his condition do not generally die.

Gus gets an anti-nausea and vomiting and motility tablet three times a day and an antacid medication a half hour before every meal.  The motility medication moves food through the digestive track more quickly.

He now gets no treats of any kind, and is not allowed to roam the pasture scarfing up all kinds of droppings. One problem is that Gus will eat absolutely anything – animal droppings, chicken droppings, wood chips and splinters.

The big thing I’ve done with his low-cal gastroentric food is to try to make it more nutritious and softer and wetter. I’ve added Royal Canin high calorie recovery food, it is now 1/4 of his diet.

This is to keep his weight up, and so it will slide down the esophagus more easily. I’m also feeding him small “meatball” chunks of his food by hand, asking him to stand “up” while he swallows each piece. I’ve also been putting drops of virgin olive oil in the food to help lubricate it.

I also give him a tablespoon of canned pumpkin  after each meal for fiber.

I’m now feeding him four times a day, so the amounts will be smaller and easier for him to move and to digest his food. We have the sense that these steps seem to be working, including our holding him upright (see photo above) for 15 to 20 minutes after each feeding. Gus seems to enjoy this attention.

In the course of my research, I’m reading a lot about the gastrointestinal diseases that dogs often get. The symptom of these disorders closely mirror Gus’s symptoms – especially the yellow and foamy quality of the regurgitations, which occur mostly in the morning. From his bowel movements, Gus is definitely processing his food, it is getting through the esophagus.

One of the most common forms of treatment for megaesophagus is the Bailey Chair, a custom made high-chair where the dog sits to eat his her food. Animal people are passionate about their solutions and ideas. People who think differently are often shamed. Those of us who share the lives of their dogs are familiar with this pattern. The vast majority of people are supportive and sympathetic, and this is the only flak I have been getting.

Some people are unhappy with me, they think I am being stubborn or lazy for not having ordered the chair, but they misread or misjudge me. I have no ego about the medications vets tell me to take, and am administering all of them to Gus. I’m not prepared yet to put any egg in a single basket, I will continue to consult weekly with our vet, and when necessary, specialists.

I also love to do my own research. As of now, I have no certain cures to offer. Megaesophagus is not a curable disease, unless Gus grows out of it himself. From the X-rays, I think that is unlikely.

Nobody I know of has found a way to cure this disease, and Maria and I want more for Gus than a few good years. Maria and I are completely in synch about Gus’s treatment, we constantly compare notes and observations. We love and trust our vet.

A number of people have begun contacting me – megaesophagus rescue groups – offering to take Gus if his condition worsens and we tire of treating him. That is a complex ethical and moral decision foe me, as well as Maria. I don’t believe in prolong the lives of seriously ill dogs, I believe that can sometimes be cruel and selfish, and it is sometimes workable and appropriate. The idea makes me intensely uncomfortable.

As a rule, I don’t believe in handing ill dogs off to other people, it doesn’t seem right to me. I do not ever want to keep a very sick dog alive because it is the easier decision to make. Above all, he is voiceless and I am his advocate. He cannot speak, so I must speak for him. I do not believe dogs tell me when they want to die, that is a human construct and projection, it is, sadly, my job.

That does not only mean keeping him alive at all costs by any means.

If Gus cannot live a natural and relatively healthy life, I would be inclined to help him leave the world in peace and comfort, not to hand him off to a stranger and prolong his confusion and suffering. Just doesn’t seem right to me, although many people do it, which is their business.

Fortunately, we are not anywhere near close to that decision. Looks like Gus is  stabilizing and we can happily live with this disease as it presents itself now. If that changes, we will think about it anew.

I just am focused on where I get my information. I’m sure the Bailey Chair is effective, it is just not recommended for us right now. I also don’t wish to be distracted from my own experimentation and research. I strictly avoid these sometimes hysterical dog fights over treatments and training, I just don’t care to participate and am happy we don’t need a  new can of Odor Off this week. Next week might be different.

I would rather have no more vomit dreams.

Given the way he can stand on his legs to eat, and the length of time we hold him upright in our laps, our vet and the specialists we have consulted all feel special eating chairs are not  something that will do us much good right now. Gus is only occasionally spitting anything up.

I forgot to mention I also give Gus a chewable Pepcid tablet twice a day.

We have ordered two similar wooden benches that perform much the same function as a Bailey Chair. They will be here if we need the.  Our vet also recommended acupuncture, and we of course agreed. I think it has been helpful.

So I think we’re moving in the right direction and so is he. I talk to Robin Gibbons, or wonderful breeder, regularly and reassure her that Gus’s condition has nothing to do with her breeding, none of the other dogs in the line have it. I would enthusiastically recommend anyone getting a puppy from her, we would do it again in a flash.

She has produced some wonderful dogs, including Gus.

Gus very much wants to be better, and attitude is important. He is one of those dogs who love life and will fight for it.

We are with him as far as we can go.

He is not interfering with our work or lifestyle and is giving us a lot of fun and affection. We have settled down in this short period into a cruising speed. If he does or doesn’t regurgitate it is not a big deal, it’s just now. If he hasn’t regurgitated any food – or just a little – for a month, I’ll be very happy

There is not much about megaesophagus that I do not know about now, but I am pretty sure Gus is in a good place today, and hopefully this week. The future of this disease is unpredictable. It could get better, it could get worse. I’m going with better. I’ll keep on posting, thanks for the good words.

15 January

The Indigo Look. Matching Colors For The First Time Ever

by Jon Katz
Matching Colors

Maria seems to have awakened my very dormant fashion instincts. For the first time in my life this morning, I woke up thinking about what colors I was  wearing. My existing Slouch Beanie hats, which launched me as odd kind of fashion icon, are wearing out already, I got a snappy now and smaller Indigo Slouch Beanie hat, and Maria is wild about the color.

So I put on my Navy blue sweater  and also a wrap-around red scarf I borrowed from here (caution, do not eat with this scarf on, it will get full of food). Maria was shocked at my new fashion enterprise. It’s never too late to be a fashion  icon, I am learning, but you have to work at it, and people are fickle.

15 January

Video: A Surprising New And Beautiful Quilt Called “Keeping Warm” From Maria

by Jon Katz

Today, we went out into the cold and hung Maria’s beautiful new quilt – “Keeping Warm” up on the red barn wall, I love this quilt, it is full of surprises and reflects Maria’s own warmth and her connection with so many people all over the country. She knows something about warmth.

Her work keeps me warm. So does she.

It was about 4 degrees when we did the video, and the title was timely and apt. In the video, Maria tells the poignant story of this quilt.

This quilt had many parts and lots of emotion, and the funny thing is, it is warming, I wanted to wrap myself up in it. Maria tends to do work like that. If you are interested, the quilt went on sale yesterday and costs $425 plus shipping.

You can e-mail Maria at [email protected].

There is a quiet elegance and warm to this work, I think. People send Maria beautiful vintage fabrics from everywhere, and she remembers each one of them by name. This quilt even has an elephant from India.

You can also check it out “Keeping Warm”  on her website, fullmoonfiberart.com.

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