Day: March 18, 2018

I had this idea that it would be good for the RISSE soccer kids to get a week in the country this summer, I contacted two or three non-profit summer camps. The cheapest estimate I got for 10 kids and two adults for one week was $4,000, one was $5,000.

And those were actually quite reasonable for food and board and counselors. In the other world, parents happily pay these fees, but the RISSE parents have no extra money to spend, if they go places, it is because the Army Of Good sends money, and I make the arrangements.

I thought long and hard about this project and decided to cancel it.  I need to stay small and focused.

The beauty of this work at the Mansion and RISSE is that we are thinking small and staying small. We commit small acts of great kindness, we will the holes in people’s lives. Many people contribute a lot, but the idea is for large numbers of people to send small amounts of money.

People have repeatedly urged me to get bigger, expand the program, sign up for 501 tax certification. I don’t wish to do any of those things. I love the freedom to make these small choices – groceries here, uniforms there, and of course the already wildly successful RISSE Amazon Wish List, small things every day and you know just where the money goes.

My job is to be focused and transparent, the photos help you to see everything you are paying for. The RISSE Wish List helps  you to figure out just what they need and choose your gifts, which go directly to them.

The summer camp seemed too big for right now. I’m pushing fo one or two our visits just outside of Albany at a special place I know. The scale might be just right for us.

I think the secret is to not get bigger or too ambitious, to stay small, we’re not looking for miracles. I do like to make good small choices – short outings to the country, a movie now and then, a trip to the Chinese buffet, soccer tournament fees, shoes or clothes, a youth retreat tailored to them.

If you can help me support these very worthy young children, please send your contribution to Jon Katz,  P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y.,12816, or via Paypal, [email protected]. Please mark your donations “refugees.”

We are doing good by staying small.

Brian Gibbons helped take care of Gus in the weeks after he was born. Gus was the runt of the litter and his sisters pushed him around, Brian said, often pushing him off of the soft bedding. Brian and Gus wrestled and played together and bonded, Gus was so excited to see him, and you could see Brian is a pure and committed dog lover.

Gus’s breeder, Robin, came over to see Gus also, she is a bit shy so I didn’t take her photo. She said she considers all of her dogs her “family,” and I have seen that love.

They stayed for an  hour or so, we talked dog and Boston Terriers and the hard tasks of conscientious breeding. We went outside and I showed Robin and Brian Red  herding sheep. He was impressive, even though he is virtually blind in one eye now.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Gus so excited as when he saw Brian, he climbed all over his head and licked every inch of his face.

We decided we needed to get out of the farmhouse and take a drive today, it was sunny but cold, a beautiful day. Much talk of a fourth Nor-easter heading her mid-week. We believe it has to end somehow, perhaps Mother Earth has finally gotten sick of the greedy and ignorant people who run our world and she is washing her hands of us. I couldn’t blame her.

We went to Petco in Bennington to get some dog supplies and when we came in, there was a big sign announcing a 50 per cent off fish tank sale. With tax and all, a 20 gallon tank for $36 dollars. Maria lit up, and we bought it.

I got a 5 gallon tank as a birthday present for Maria, and she loved it much more than I thought she would. It is inspiring blog posts, potholders, quilts and many hours of interest. It calms her and interests her and stimulates her creatively. She is in particular mesmerized by Socrates our dancing snail.

It was too small, a poor choice on my part.

We lost one fish and two snails in that tank, which clouded up, so we replaced it with the 20 gallon tank above.

Today,  we decided we needed some affirmations of life, and we bought the 20 gallon tank and are giving the 10 gallon tank to the RISSE after school program, and if they don’t want it, i know some of the refugee kids who would love it.

We set up the 20 gallon tank and the filter right behind the old one, and we’ll wait two weeks for the tank water to mature before we move the fish or snails into it. The new tank will have two goldfish, Frida and  Diego, and two snails, Frida (after Frida Kahlo) and Emily, after Emily Dickinson.

They will all have plenty of room to swim in there, and we want to make sure there is enough algae and other food for the snails. We bought some natural plants, and black gravel for the bottom and the Led light has a cool blue setting that is eerily beautiful at night.

Maria loves the fish tanks, it was a good and lucky choice of birthday present. I like the 20 gallon tank, it has dignity and stature. And it was a great bargain. I think we’ve got the right tank in the right place for now,  a good and powerful filter and a good light.

It is interesting watching Maria’s evolution, the artist is taking over – black gravel, classy natural plants (no plastic), and a thoughtful aesthetic for the placement of the plants. This one is really hers.

We also have aa window in the natural world, a calming thing to watch and study. More fish potholders to come.

 

The good people at RISSE, the refugee and immigrant center in Albany, are struggling to keep up with us, and doing a valiant job, we are day-by-day transforming their wonderful but somewhat impoverished school. The RISSE Amazon Wish List is vanishing once more but there are still some wonderfully inexpensive items left.

They cannot keep up with all this good they are grateful and astonished by what you have done.

The Army Of Good has taken on the cause of the wish list with its fearsome will and great heart. We do good, we do not waste our lives arguing about what good is. We reject cruelty and hatred,  fear and envy.

The refugees belong here in America, they are part of us, our brothers and sisters, and we welcome  them and open our hearts to them. That’s what the RISSE Amazon Wish List is all about. So far, we’ve cleaned out the list about a dozen times (except for the $500 outdoor trash can).

These gifts are for the children.

We are down to three items again, and our  outdoor trash can, waiting for a savior. This week, it can’t be me.

I bought Slime Supplies Slime Making Sequins – these are a must –  for $9.99 and  Maddie Rae’s Slime Making Clear Glue for $22.99. I frankly cannot imagine any creative school without each.

Thanks for the supporting the refugees and immigrants, who so desperately need our support and love now. Your gifts are going to bring this amazing school to life, full of light and color and learning and fun now.

You can find the wish list here.

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” – Thomas Merton, Love And Living.

For me, love is  being known.

I thought it was more complicate that, but in my mind,  being loved is when someone looks at you and sees you, right through to the soul.

All of my life, even now,  I have not been known or seen, not by people I know, not by friends, by teachers, by family. Perhaps I have been hiding, or could not bear to be known, and did not wish to be seen.

The people in my life have rushed past me like a raging stream, or perhaps I have rushed past them, I can’t really know. They are almost all gone now, very much alive but out of my life. I miss some of them, and regret losing them.

But I never regret my life, every day of it was necessary for me to be who I am, for better or worse.

When Maria and I met a decade ago, we both had the same extraordinary experience.

We saw each other, were each, suddenly known. Our worlds change, there was life before we saw each other, and life after. Maria told me that I was the first person in  her life she could talk to  easily and openly, and with so much trust. I told her I felt the same thing.

It was a stunning feeling.  The world changed colors and hues. It was not quite like first love or young love, it was so much deeper and transforming.

We know other people who have experienced the revelation of being seen, we know them when we see them, they are brothers and sisters to us. They are our tribe.

I didn’t know at first, that this was love, or could lead to love. Love is our true destiny,” wrote Thomas Merton. “We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with  another.”

But this love is  still true, deeper and more powerful than ever. We see each other.

That is the poem that has become the centerpiece of our lives, along with our work. I never knew that was love, I had little experience of being known. Life was a moat, I lived deep inside the dark castle, no one could see in.

In Maria, II saw an artist and a beautiful and gifted soul, she saw an artist who wished to come out, and a man who was broken and wished to do good but was trapped inside of himself. She saw me. She saw past the trouble  and into the soul.

We saw that we were on the same path, towards building a creative life together. We found meaning together, and worked hard and fought hard for our lives.

It was exhilarating and transforming,  that was the first time that had happened to us in both of our lives. Not being known is a lonely place to be, loneliness is the very  definition of being unknown, of being invisible, of being able to hide.

Being seen is not the same thing as not being seen. The two are on the opposite ends of life.

Being known means being trusted, being accepted. It doesn’t matter what you look like or talk like, it is the extraordinary, even thrilling sensation of finally being seen, being known.

Merton was creative, I could not find the meaning of life by myself, I have begun to find the meaning in my life through life, it is my true destiny.

When we saw one another, we fell in love, although neither of us understand what love was at the time.  We have stayed in love, and grown together in love.

Surprisingly, I never fear the loss of this love. If for any reason Maria chose to be with someone else – that is always her right – I would still always feel seen, known and loved. I would accept life and honor it.

Being seen is a transformative experience. All of my life, I have waited for that, and when I found it, I knew  I was coming to life, that my life would change, that I would find my purpose.

I could not find the meaning of life by myself alone.