2 May

Tomorrow: Lunch With Ed, The Search For Bumper Stickers

by Jon Katz
Lunch With Ed, Search For Bumper Stickers: Above, Ed At Bejosh Farm

Tomorrow, a compelling day. Maria and I are meeting Carol and Ed at an Apple store where the Gulleys are planning to buy a laptop. We have researched the new models. This machine will have a tumultuous ride, Ed wants to be able to speak verbally into the computer, he doesn’t type and his fingers are too large and scarred for normal keyboards.

The Gulleys want to blog every day, post videos, enable Ed to dictate notes and instructions for the care of the farm, and also speak to his growing audience through words and videos. Beyond that, the computer is going cross-country at least to Montana, and has to broadcast blog posts in all kinds of weather and terrain.

They need tech support, computers are still alien to them, and Apple has amazing tech support, they get on the phone quickly, speak English and stay on the phone until the problem is solved. So we have recommended an Apple laptop, more expensive, worth it in our view. Later on, we can consider voice recognition software or digital recording devices that hook up to the computer if we need it.

The new Apple laptops have voice activated software built-in, you just have to hit one or two keys.

After we get the computer, if that’s what they choose to do, I’m taking Ed out to lunch. I have lots of things to say to him, he has lots of things to say to me. We’ll go wherever he wants.

This will be a good step forward for their very popular blog, the Bejosh Farm Journal. Ed’s gofundme project is now at $14,445. About $35,000 to go. You can see it here.

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I’ve starting exploring the cost and feasibility of ordering bumper stickers that say Army Of Good and sending them to members of this proud organization. I’d post photos of the stickers, hopefully all over the country. And perhaps one day we can wave and honk to fellow soldiers in this struggle for compassion, and the search for our better angels.

This will be more expensive than I thought, naturally, and I’ll have to figure out that. I might have to charge a few dollars for each sticker or tie them to donations. in some way. I’ll need to order new envelopes to fit them. I’ve enlisted a graphic designer, Sara Kelly, to research this and get back to me.

I want it to happen. I’m thinking white letters on a Navy background, with www.bedlamfarm.com in small letters across the bottom. I’ll have some figures shortly, maybe even a proof. We’ll take it from there.

 

2 May

The New Mansion Lunch Program, Started Today. Giving, Not Just Taking

by Jon Katz
The New Mansion Lunch Program

To care for the elderly, I think, requires me to bring myself into their reality. It’s not just about giving, it’s also about taking. As I have learned, the chance to give is a great gift,  a mark of humanity and meaning, and it is too often denied those at the edge of life.

They are  rarely given a chance to care for other human beings.

By letting them help me to give up the illusion that I am the sole creator and manager of my own life, and that nothing and no one can suddenly take it away from me. They know better. They are ahead of me, not behind me, if I listen, they have great wisdom to share.

This poverty of hubris, for lack of a better  term, this new humility, can free me to receive the elderly into my life and see them as friends, rather than piteous and dependent creatures I must minister to. I have to listen to them, stand in their shoes, shed my own delusions about immorality.

I am not there to save them, or alter the course of their lives, or bring back what they have lost. I am not there to tell them everything will be fine.

When I have emptied myself of these conceits, then we can share our lives together, more as equals than the strong and the needy.

For the very first time today, I talked about my own work, my own aging process. I am, for the first time, paying attention to what they can offer rather than just what it is I have to give. And they respond with warmth, even love.

Today, we kicked off the new Mansion outing and lunch program, something I have been plotting for months. It is much easier on a warm and breezy day.

it was a beautiful day.

Jean And Red

Julie, the Mansion Activities Director came, along with Jackie, a new resident (and sharp Bingo player) and Peggie. I believe this is one of the things the Mansion residents need and appreciate the most – the chance to get out into the world and interact with people and just talk in a different environment. Of all the residents, Peggie is most out in the world. She goes to Bingo games, amusement parks, she visits the homes and children and grandchildren of her six children.

She is up for anything, any time.

These outings into the world stimulates and uplifts them. Today, we needed a Mansion staffer present because Jackie and Peggie both needed walkers. In the coming weeks, I’ve invited several Mansion residents – Madeline, Jean, Joan, Bob, Sylvie, to come out to lunch, just me and them, or sometimes, Maria.

The residents are free to come and go as they wish, all I need to do is sign them out and take good care of them.

Those I’ve asked so far are very excited about the idea, we’ll go to local restaurants. The  residents usually eat simply, they order a sandwich and a cookie. The meals are inexpensive.

Today, the meal was $34.72 for four BLT sandwiches and three cookies, Ginger and  two Chocolate Chip.

Most use walkers and/or wheelchairs, which fit easily into the back of my SUV. We stash them around the corner until they are needed.

It was a beautiful day, the conversation moved easily and warmly, as everyone settled in and got comfortable. Jackie was shy, we have had little contact. She is quite bright and articulate. I asked Peggie what she hoped for, and she said she wished to be “loud and awesome.” I said she was already there.

We talked about the outings we wished to go out on – there is much interest in the Adirondack Animal Park, about an hour away. I told them I wanted to plan another boat ride, they so loved it.

There is work involved – shooing away flies and wasps, brushing off crumbs, ferrying food and water, guiding to the bathrooms, clearing the tables.

There is a safari ride that cars can drive thought. Everyone wants to go on that, in the Adirondacks, there are all sorts of newborn babies there,  but it costs $17 a person plus lunch and we would have to limit the people to eight or nine, I think. Three staffers would also have to go. We are still talking it over.

I’m going to talk to park officials this week to see about a discount.

It was a lovely time, Peggie and Jackie were relaxed, they talked about aging, keeping their minds busy. It was more like having dinner with two friends that two elderly people in need. That was precisely what I had hoped for.

This lunch/outing idea  feels good to me. It doesn’t take long, and fits into my idea of small acts of great kindness. No miracles, we are not looking to alter fate and reality.

2 May

In The Pole Barn, The Graffiti Of Love

by Jon Katz
The Graffiti Of Love

I came into the Pole Barn four or five years ago – I think it was on Valentine’s Day – to find these two hearts painted onto the very dirty windows of the old barn. It was some graffiti of love, painted by a street artist who lived with me on the farm, and I have always cherished it, even though almost no one but the two of ever sees it. Maybe that’s why.

it is the kind of personal grace and affection I have come to expect from my wife, who knows how to love someone like me, perhaps the first person who ever did.

Yesterday, the hearts were covered with dirt, today, a finger had freshened them up. I think someone many years down the road will look up one day and see the hearts, then covered in love, and perhaps wonder about the lucky people who loved them.

2 May

The Art Of The Red Dog. The General Dance

by Jon Katz
The Art Of Red

Red is an artist in his own right, I love the ancient ballet of the sheep, their instinctive awareness of one another, the rhythms of the movements, balancing one another, reacting to one another, their workmanlike relationship. They work together, yet are opposites, respectful of each other, but very much a species apart.

Red is always in command, always, and the sheep join with him in their general dance.

2 May

Video: A Therapy Dog And A Women Struggling To Find Her Purpose In The World

by Jon Katz

Diane is all about love, and so is Red. I took this short video to show the focus and impact a skilled therapy dog can have on a woman struggling to find herself in her turbulent and confusing world. Diana has a realistic baby doll now, who she loves dearly. In the afternoon, when her doll Sue is resting, Diane comes out to sit on the hallway sofas and sing to the two parakeets in their cages.

She loves Red, and loves to talk and sing to him. I’ve trained him to gently jump up on the sofa next to Diane – the only time he is permitted to jump up onto a sofa. He sits  contentedly and very still while Diane strokes him and sings to him and talks to him of love and safety. She talks in the third person, she refers to herself as “Diane” and she tells Red over and over again that she loves him and will treat him well. Come and see, it is a beautiful thing, what a dog can do for a person on the edge of life.

Red is unusual in many ways, one is that he tailors his work to the person he is seeking. He is vary careful with Diane, to get close to her, but no too close, she can be easily startled. He has earned her trust and focus.

 

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