21 June

Helping Sifa. We Can Really Help Her

by Jon Katz
Helping Sifa

I’d like some help helping Sifa. She doesn’t need much.

Sifa lives on the very worst street in Albany, according to the police, Ali warned me it would be rough and he was right. The police have been to the house seven times in the last two weeks to break up fights and bust up drug deals. She has been living in her very dark and close-in apartment with her four children for two years, and her son is in jeopardy from the drug den that is operating right next to them.

There was drug detritus all over the street and Ali and I had to make our way through six or seven young men who wouldn’t move a muscle for either of us. The street was just seething with poverty, anger and hopelessness. And sullen young men with nothing to do.

I’ve seen streets like this in the poorer neighborhoods of Baltimore,  Washington and Philadelphia. They are almost literally seething.

Sifa is very sweet and kind. It astonishes me how these quiet and soft-spoken women relay their tales of horror with little emotion and no self-pity. When they come to a sad part, they just lower their eyes, or sometimes, smile sadly.

Sifa survived a lot of horror for a long time. I don’t know how these women survived what they had to endure. I suppose she is lucky in one way, she is alive, and so are her children, although the term hardly applies to her suffering. She is uncomplaining and grateful for what she has.

She seemed at ease with me from the first, and had no reservations about being photographed.

One of her four kids is her sister’s, she was killed during the horrifying Congo genocides of the 1990’s that saw the slaughter of  an estimated 10 million people. Those numbers included all of  Sifa’s family, and perhaps her husband, whose whereabouts she does not know. They were separated and she has not seen him or heard of him or from him in nearly ten years.

From the look in her eyes, she is not hopeful.

Sifa escaped the Congo and spent seven years in a refugee camp hoping to get to America.

She was chosen by the U.N. to come to the U.S. in a visa lottery the kind the government is seeking to abolish. She came here  in 2016 from what some people call a “shithole” country, she would not be admitted now.

Sifa has a good job in a good place – the Albany Medical Center. She pays her rent and feeds her children, including two of her sons – Rodger and Ushindi – two of the stars on the soccer team. She urgently needs to get them and herself out of that apartment, she greatly fears for her sons and her other two children.

Sifa has a radiant smile. She seems calm and accepting.

A couple of minutes on the street was convincing enough  for me, and I was a police reporter in Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, and Atlantic City.

We can really help Sifa. It will not take much.

We have already found her a new and safe and spacious three bedroom apartment in a good neighborhood near the medical center, she could walk to work.  That would be amazing. We have found a compassionate Muslim landlord who is charging as reasonable a rent as is possible.

The new apartment is just a few blocks from where Ali and his family live. She loves it and is eager to move. It has plenty of room for them.  She did not actually ask for any help, Ali and I had to pull it out of her. Ali knew from her friends about her difficulty. Ali and the kids on the soccer team are ready to help her move, they have all volunteered to help Rodger and Ushindi, they hope to move her next week, with our help.

Sifa said she needs $600 for the deposit and may need some additional help for the first two or three months of the new rent, there is about $250 difference in rent between the new apartments. She is working extra hours and does not want or need any additional help beyond that.

She just needs a hand to get there.

This is right up our alley. I gave Sifa a check for the $600 today so she can reserve the apartment and move in anytime. I told her we would help her make up the difference in the rent for those three months next week, assuming I can raise the money.

Sifa is self-sufficient and resourceful, she is moving up in her job at the medical center – she works in the housecleaning department and has a rent subsidy from the county government. She said the frequency of the police visits and the violence and fighting are  frightening her, she is especially concerned for her sons. She works many hours each week and worries when she isn’t home.

Ali and I looked at one another. We told her she didn’t need to convince us.

At the new apartment, she will not have to worry about the street life, and we talked about her finances.

She can easily handle the new rent between the county subsidy and what she earns. She just needs some help in signing the contract for the new apartment, setting it up and paying for the things new apartments require, like cable and Internet, essential for her kids and their schoolwork, among other things.

Like most of the refugee women we have met, there is little cushion in their lives, no extra money, no net.

Like the other refugee women I have met, Sifa is uncomplaining. For all of the troubles in America, she says, she loves being here, despite the menacing neighborhood. There is good and water and shelter here, she says, and no one is starving or being slaughtered or trying to kill her or her family. Women can be free.

The children, she says, have a chance.

The refugee work has added a new dimension to the work Ali and I are doing.  And more expenses.  We will take it slowly. We are also supporting the soccer team, whose members also have great needs. We work hard to keep our ambitions and costs small and focused.

We are committed to staying small, and asking for as little money as possible. But it is a great gift to be helping the refugees so directly. I want to say that you are the ones helping these people, it is  your money, your generosity, your sense of justice and compassion that makes all of this work possible. I couldn’t do a fraction of this on my own.

Neither could Ali. We never forget that, and i hope you don’t either.

You are truly an Army Of Good. I  hope to give the soccer team some respite and entertainment during the school break that starts next week. I’m putting the animal park trek in the Adirondacks on hold until our fund is fatter. I think we can get to Invincibles 2. And the one hour boat ride around Lake George is set.

Yesterday, a female rushed up to Ali on the street weeping and begged him for money to repair her car. She demanded to speak to me and she was so distraught Ali said he would listen. We had helped her in a small way awhile ago, she said she owed a lot of money, she need more help.

Ali, rattled at the depth of her emotion,  dialed my number and handed his phone to me – Ali has a very big heart and hates to say no.

She begged me for help in the most emotional way. “Please help me,” she shouted into the phone. And I did not hesitate.

I said no, we could not help her, that was not what we were about. We had to make sure the money we took from other people was used for good and was dispensed thoughtfully. We had to make hard decisions. Ali asked if I wanted to know how much she needed, and I said no, not right now.

I was also concerned about the manner in which she asked for help, I told her she needed to speak with us when she could be calm and clear. I know she had good reasons for being traumatized.  But I told Ali we can’t give out money for things like car repairs. Once that word got around, it would drain us in a minute. And how could we say not to anyone else?

Sometimes, I said, saying no was more important than saying yes.

I told her no on the phone. It is as essential to say no without wavering. We need to stay small, thoughtful and focused. We can help SIfa and her children in a major and lasting way, just as we helped Hawah and Lisa and Shasheen. Sifa just needs some help getting to that open field, she is already more than halfway there.

Any help would be appreciated, I’d like to give her the additional rental help next week, and perhaps some money for new clothes for her children.

If you can or wish to help, please send your contribution to The Gus Fund, Jon Katz, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, or via Paypal, [email protected]. And thanks much. You are changing lives.

i invited Sifa to come to Bedlam Farm along with the other women we have been helping. She would make a great member of the Refugee Women’s Support Group. It’s in the works.

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