Ed Gulley told me a couple of days ago that he has troubling improvising the videos he wants to make now, as he works to understand his diagnosis of brain cancer and how to live with it as best as he can for as long as he can. He asked if I could help, I said I thought it could work if we did the videos together.

We have a great connection, and absolute trust for one another. I told Ed I would shut him up if he went on too long, and he said he appreciated that. I said I would ask him specific questions about what he is thinking and feeling as the illness reveals itself – he has 10 tumors in his brain, say the doctors – progresses and in what way. It is sometimes useful to have been a reporter and a TV producer.

Neither of us is inclined to be gloomy or maudlin, we would just l like to be  honest and useful, and sometimes, entertaining. Between the two of us, there is a lot of wind.

Ed jumped at this, we are going to do it as often as he wants to, and as often as I can. I will make time for it.

This first video is about four minutes long. I like it, and Ed will check it out later and if he likes it, we’ll start a regular video chronicle of one man’s encounter with brain cancer. We will talk about the  disease, his responses to it, his family, our friendship and his rapidly evolving view of life, death, pain and compassion.

I hope it will be as compelling to you as it feels to me. It’s hard to do a coherent video without structure and specific questions. Ed and I also agreed that since we are so comfortable with one another, the videos might be comfortable for him to do and people to see.

 

Ed is the same man I have known for years now, but yet not the same man.  He looks different to me, yet he is a quieter and more sober version of himself now. He is wide open, his soul is shining through. He is not moping, he is excited about the next chapter. He has no self-pity, he is very much into the future, he feels free for the first time in his life to do things he never could do before.

Like many men, like me, trouble has opened Ed up and released a flood of buried emotions and creative impulses. I told Ed I always loved men who were tortured as children or humiliated as adults, and now he was one of them.

But let’s let him tell his story in his own words. I am happy to be of some use. I feared at first there was no way for me to help Ed through incurable brain cancer, but that is not so.  So this is the first of the Ed Gulley Chronicles, a journey into the whirlwind.  Check it out.

Ed loves to get messages, you can e-mail him and/or Carol at [email protected].