Day: July 5, 2018

it was Maria who first spotted the artist in Ed and helped him to see himself as an artist, which he is. The Creative Spark burns so brightly in him, never more so than now. This week, he cannot even sit up by himself, he is attached to a catheter and has to be spoon fed most of his food.

Tethered to his bed, this active and strong and perpetually busy man is determined to be productive, and even though he only has one  arm to use, he is making art, sketches, paintings on glass, and then collapsing back into bed to rest.

Ed accepts his cancer and  he accepts the reality that he will die shortly, what he will not accept is being useless and unproductive on any given day. Towards the end, the artist inside of him has emerged, powerfully and with strength and skill.

I see him growing weaker by the day, he tells me is fine, feeling clear and  strong.

“I’m going to create things to my last breath, ” he says, and part of the beautiful symmetry of creativity is that Ed makes his art with Carol at his side helping, sometimes his daughter Maggie, or his sons, Jeremy, Chad and Jesse, sometimes his grandchildren, sometimes me, sometimes Maria.

We all stand in his circle, holding his hand.

He has brought everyone he loves into this intensely personal creative community, as he moves towards the edge of life. Truly, it is using up almost all the strength he has, it is also keeping him in our world.

I can’t quite say I’ve seen anything like it, and while it is sometimes hard to watch, it is mostly beautiful to watch, and I am privileged to be a part of it.  Carol, as  always, is supporting him in every possible way.

Ed and I have a powerful creative connection, and I understand exactly what he is doing.

Today, we talked about creativity and cancer on our 8th video together.

Ed had a creative day Thursday, it wore  him out but also kept him going. I’m selling his works one at a time. So far, they are all sold.

This color marker sketch is called “Fish Bowl,” it is for sale for $100, no shipping fee. If you are interested in buying it, please e-mail me at [email protected]. If you are the first to ask for it, I’ll save it for you and e-mail you payment instructions. All of the proceeds- every penny – goes to the Gulleys. Thanks. This one popped out at me.

I was sitting with Ed by his hospital bed and Carol came to the door, and said, “oh it’s Ethel.” She opened the door and called out. “come on, Ethel, come say good night to Ed.” Ethel has been around the farm for awhile, she walks back and forth behind the farmhouse, she is friends with all of the dogs.

Carol opened the door and Ethel strutted right in, clucking and strutting. Carol tossed her some food and Ethel took a few more steps inside, took a look at Ed and then turned and went out, resuming her rounds out back. Lovey the Aussie came out to greet her and watched her go.

Another Gulley moment, they are not like the other children. Ethel, it turns out, comes in to say good night to Ed every single night. Ed says she knows exactly what’s going on. “Good night,  Ethel,” he yelled to her, before going to sleep.

I got a text message from Carol Gulley late this afternoon, she said Ed had decided to paint on glass this morning, and she was wondering if there was such a thing as acryllic paint, and did I know where to get it.

I realized that I feel the need to respond very quickly to any request by Ed or on his behalf, and for obvious  reasons. I wanted to get them there quickly.

I called Jay’s Art Supply store in Bennington and asked them if they would be open  until 5 – Bennington is about 40 minutes away from us – and did they have any acrylic paint?  They said they would be open, and yes, they had acrylic paint made for painting on glass surfaces.

Jay and Joan  Zwynenberg, the owners of Jay’s,  have been unfailingly helpful, Jay has looked at Ed’s work on my blog and helped me choose the right paints and brushes and paper for him to work with.

I’ve gotten all of Ed’s art supplies there this week – colored pencils, sketchbooks, palettes and an easel – and they are aware of Ed and his painting and are  following his story. They could not be more supportive. They said they would make sure to be open until I arrived.

I got a big back full of acrylic paints, sketchbooks and tubes and brushes and rushed over to the Gulley farm, Bejosh Farm.  Ed heard me – he was sleeping –  he asked Carol to help him sit up. Ed has asked his family to wake him up whenever I come.

He looked weak to me,  his face was drooping, he said he was fine. Carol brought him some vases. We went to work, he painted and Carol and I took turns holding the paint tubes and pens and capping and uncapping them.

Ed’s movements are confined to his right arm essentially, now, and to moving his head. I saw him summon his strength to paint and he did two vases, one, above, called “chicken” that he asked me to sell, and he made another glass painting for Carol.

it is wrenching to watch Ed work with only one hand, someone has to hand him the brushes, cap and un cap them, hand him another color to paint with. He now asks Carol to sign the sketches and vases and jars. He is in full control of the art itself, painting confidently and clearly. He did some of his best work today, under the worst possible circumstances.

There is a lesson in that.

It is a powerful thing to watch Carol during this time, she has  absolutely dedicated herself to making Ed comfortable and  giving him whatever he needs and wants. She does so with great gentleness and love, it is a remarkable thing to see the bond between these two farmers.

“Chickens” is quite lovely, I think, and Ed really rose to the occasion while painting it. He also wanted to do a video, which we did. This creative work excites  him and focuses him, the artist wants to keep going. If nobody wants it, I might buy it.

So I am putting the vase up for sale for $100 plus shipping, the same price as his sketches. The first person to e-mail me – [email protected] –  will get the vase, and I will notify you and send payment details. I suspect there will be more glass vases tomorrow. I will be there to help Ed paint them, and if he wishes, to sell them.

All the money goes to the Gulley’s, of course. The acrylic paint really worked on the vase and  the other glass jars Ed is working with. The more and better tools Ed has, the better his work, and it is getting more and more colorful and confident.

Working on the “Chicken” and Carol’s piece exhausted Ed, we had to help him lie down and go to sleep. I gave him a hug and we held one another’s hand for a bit.

 

Lulu has the most beautiful eyes, in the summer, she is often grazing in a cloud of flies, they are drawn to her in a particular way.

We have had donkeys for more than 15 years,  we know every mask, net, mesh, potion, spray and oil in the universe, please don’t advise us of any more. I imagine we have tried them all. I asked a  well known donkey trainer once if there was anything we could really do about the eyes, and he shook his head and said no, flies are an ancient and integral part of a donkeys’s life and some donkeys generate fluid and smells that attract flies, and some really don’t. (Fanny doesn’t)

The best thing you can do for a donkey, he advised, is often nothing. Rather than torment them with masks and lotions they hate and will invariably tear off of one another, let them be donkeys as they have been for thousands of years.

In the summer, they draw flies and their eyes run. They can handle it, it’s usually the people who can’t,  he said. Horses are different, he said. You can put masks on horses, it makes them less skittish.

In the age of the Internet, where free advice and amateur diagnosing  and prescribing, is epidemic, this is good advice. The trainer recommended some lotion we apply once in awhile, when we can get Lulu to stand still. It works for a few hours.

We accept Lulu and her eyes. We mostly giving up fighting nature. Lulu’s eyes and accepting the conceit that we can alter the world. Lulu’s eyes are beautiful in all seasons. And we let her be a donkey. And we let life be life whenever we can.