Sadie has lived with Carol and Ed Gulley for 14 years, she is a member of the family in most ways, and thinks nothing of coming into the house to look for food and mischief. Like many goats, she is too smart for her own good and full of mischief.
She has pulled handkerchiefs and keys from my pockets and butted me in the butt. She used to follow Ed and Carol everywhere, even into the milking parlor. I was visiting the farm yesterday, and went looking for her, and I found her in empty part of the barn where the calves and chickens once were.
I brought her a lollipop, which she loves and she looked a bit lost to me. She was always hanging around with Ed and Carol, and as always, I wonder what it is that animals know.
But yesterday, she was sitting in the empty barn alone. She was not foraging for food or making trouble, she did love her lollipop. I know she also loves Fig Newtons, maybe I’ll get some of those for my next visit. Ed an Carol both loved her and yakked with her all day.
There is a big hole in her life.
I can imagine the e-mail already, so many animals lovers are sure they know what animals know, but I am not one of those people. We don’t know what animals know, we can only guess and speculate, although few people are willing to ever say “I don’t know.”
I don’t know much more than I know.
Animals are not humans, they are an alien species, they are different from us.
Sadie looked upset to me, I am sure she is aware of Ed’s absence and Carol’s grief and distraction. Life is so different on the farm, so many of the big barns and buildings feel empty.
Carol has not been working on the farm while Ed was sick, and Ed, of course is gone. That it a big difference and I could feel it myself, and goats are sensitive creatures. I know animals have emotions, and I know they don’t have our emotions, any more than squirrels do, even if they can sense them.
Beyond that, it is a mystical thing for me.
Sadie was affectionate, I think she was glad to see me. I scratched her on the chin and gave her another lollipop. Farm animals are wise, and they are adaptable. Sadie will adjust.
“What do you know?,” I asked her in a whisper, and she looked into my eyes and I saw some bewilderment and confusion, and yes, something akin to sadness. She is, I am sure, keenly aware that her world has changed for good.
That’s what I saw, not what I know. I will try to visit Sadie again today.
Sadie, like most animals is used to rhythm in their lives. That rhythm has changed for all those animals that Ed and Carol dearly love. They will adjust to it and when Carol gets to her new normal without Ed, the animals will too. I do believe that you said that Rose had a map in her head and everyday she went out to adjust it. Most animals do that I think. It is a survival tactic. Sadie is adjusting her map, she may have to do it a few more times before it’s right.
In the wake of Ed’s illness and passing, I am glad to hear of Sadie. I wondered about her. Her special relationship with Ed was one of the many aspects of the Bejosh Farm blog that caught and held my interest. As Liz from NJ so articulately noted in her comment, animals live to the rhythm of their lives. Sadie’s has changed radically now. Life on Bejosh Farm is deeply changed. Bless the folks there, and let’s always remember Ed for the interesting, strong and creative man he was.
Thanks Mary, nice of you to care about Sadie…She’s an old goat and Carol is quite devoted to her, but she could use some attention, and I think she will be getting some. Nobody had much time in recent weeks, but she is loved by the family and they will keep an eye on her. Me too.