17 September

Feast At Ali’s: Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Jews

by Jon Katz
Muslim’s, Christians, Jews. Twasul, Ahmed, Ali, yad, Ibtesam

Maria and I were invited to dinner last night at Ali’s house in Albany, with his sister Twasul, his nephews Ahmed and Eyad and mother, Ibtesam. Ali also invited Sakler Moo and his mother Lae Pwy, Sakler’s former teacher Carolyn, her husband Jesus, their two kid, and an assorted collection of nieces and nephews and soccer team players.

It was really a feast, Twasul prepared a nine (at least) course dinner, all kinds of dinners and rice and vegetables from the Susan and the Middle East. It was a spectacular feast, and Ali’s family is all just as sweet and good-hearted as he is.

There were wonderful culture differences.

The house was crammed with kids, and everybody took care of everybody. Older kids played with younger kids and watched them, brooding kids stared into their cell phones, Maria and I were treated like royalty, fussed over and stuffed with delicious things.

Parents were interchangeable, the kids were everybody’s kids, and although they were stuffed into a small space, they were courteous and respectful and generous with one another.

It was Ali who mentioned proudly that there were Christians, Buddhists, Jews and Muslims in the room, having great conversations with one another. Ibtesam speaks little English but love is a universal language and we loved talking with her.

It is a matter of faith to Ali to be good to people, his instructions from his God. He’s a good student.

Ibtesam is taking English lessons at RISSE, the refugee and immigrant support center in Albany, and was shrouded in love and hospitality.  I kept thinking how American this family and their values are, and how rich and distinct their culture is. Ali say she can’t imagine a life where he doesn’t see his mother every night of his l ife.

I did think all night about how this mixing of cultures and people and faiths is so rich and rewarding, it is sometimes bewildering to me that the world – and our own country – has so much trouble dealing with different kinds of people.

This is really what I most love about America, the mixing of cultures, the reward for hard work.  Ali took care of Twasul when she came to American from the Sudan, and now she speaks English very fluently and works at the Albany Medical Center as a nurse’s aide.

This family, like so many refugee and immigrant families, is constantly learning, growing, acclimating. Yet they very much keep their culture and center their lives around family. Ibtesam was thrilled to hear that Maria is a belly dancer, a friend of hers is coming to visit from Egypt and is bringing some belly dancing skirts for Maria.

Ali said that in his culture, women can only dance for their husbands, not for any other men, so his mother can’t belly dance. I told him that in my culture I was not permitted to see Maria dance at all, she isn’t ready to dance in public.

I loved the dinner, and so did Maria. I loved the mixing of cultures and faiths. I loved the warmth and connection. Sakler Moo’s mother Lae Pwy came and we brought flowers for her and for Ibtesam. We also brought a dozen ears of fresh-cut sweet corn.

Lae Pwy is shy and dignified, I had the pleasure of telling her that one of the blog readers has offered to pay her share of the tuition – $2,000 – for the next three years.

She smiled, she seemed overwhelmed for a minute, she has a great love and dignity about her.

So we asked everyone in the room to come to our house for dinner, and we urged the family to come to our Open House on Columbus Day weekend. Ali said he will bring his family, and the soccer team also, they will sing some songs for us.

I’m grateful to Ali and his family for inviting us into their home, for being so loving and hospitable, for feeding us so well, and for affirming our faith in the American experience. Some people fear different cultures, we love them and are enriched by them and learn from.

Their invitation was a gift to me, it lifted me up and helped me grow and deepend.

There was a young person there who was, I think, undocumented, and who has lived in America every day of his nearly 30 years. He is a Dreamer, he lives in fear of being deported back to a country he has never known or seen because our political leaders are so paralyzed with labels and poisonous ideologies.

Watching him was like a stab in the heart, he works more than 70 hours at two or three jobs. He is no drain on anyone.

It was a wonderful dinner, but it was also more than that, a gather of Christians, Muslims and Jews to offer the promise of humanity and the enduring power of the American Dream and  salvation of the world.

Audio: Dinner at Ali’s

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