A few days ago, I asked for help in supporting Lisa, a 27-year-old Afghan refugee whose husband was killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan while driving food to American soldiers at an airbase. In danger herself, she fled with her brother and two sons to Pakistan, she got a visa to come to the United States in 2016.
Because her brother, who is 17, never went to school a single day in Afghanistan, he couldn’t handle high school here, and because he couldn’t go to school, local welfare officials took away her rent subsidy. She faces life in a homeless shelter.
As of this morning, I received just under $3,000 in donations sent to help Lisa, and also other refugees. People are so good given the chance.
Ali and I will be meeting tomorrow and talking with Lisa to decide how this money can be used to stabilize her life while she learns English and looks for work. She was devastated by her husband’s death, she said all of the happiness in her seemed to die with him. She has the saddest eyes.
I can see a path for her now, thanks to you. With this money, we can help her get a new apartment – she is planning to move to one in September, hers is filled with mice and roaches. We found a housing authority program that has accepted her, brother and all.
We can pay the difference between what the housing authority will give her and what the rent is – about $250 a month – for a year. We can pay for one-on-one English classes to help her get the kind of job she wants. We can help her brother get some English language tutoring so he can finish his education or, if he prefers, go to work.
Our philosophy is to be thoughtful and bounded. We can’t pay for her life, but can get her to what I call an “open field,” a level playing field where she can find security and freedom in America, for herself, her brother and her two small children.
Lisa must learn to live on her own here, something she very much wants to do.
She is a very sweet and kind and intelligent woman, she also is in need of personal things like toiletries and deodorant and toothpaste and groceries. Her children urgently need new clothes. We can now get all of those things for her and her family.
She will have all of those personal things for her by Thursday. Thanks once more to the Army Of Good. I always hold my breath when I ask for money, you never let me down. More importantly, you never let the refugees or the Mansion residents down. You are keeping good alive.
Thank you, thank you. People who wish to support this program – tomorrow we meet with a refugee from Africa who lost more than one husband there. She has a good job, drug dealers just moved in below her, she needs a small amount of money to help with rent for six months. Her sons are on the soccer team.
People who wish to help can send their contributions to Jon Katz, Post Office Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, or via Paypal, [email protected].
If there are additional contributions coming in for Lisa, they will be set aside for her. If they are specified for “refugees” or “Mansion” I will make sure they go to help people in one place or another. Every dollar will be used well. Thank you, it is so much better to do good than arguing about good.
You’ve given Lisa a wonderful chance.
As I meet these refugee children and immigrants, and watch the news about the children being separated from their parents, i think of the soccer team, and give thanks these boys did not suffer that fate. I believe we are fighting not only for individual lives, but for the soul of our country, and the many wonderful things it stands for. Thanks, a million times, you lift up my heart every day.
it is almost impossible to get Lisa to smile, except when she mentions her late husband or is with her two very charming and lively sons, Mudasir, 7, and Baseer, 5. You may recall that Lisa is a 27-year-old Afghan refugee, her husband was killed by a roadside bomb as he was driving food to American soldiers at an Afghan airbase.
She became a target herself, as did her sons, and she fled her village to a United Nations refugee camp in Pakistan, where she spent several years before coming to America. She and her sons are living in a filthy, roach-infested apartment in a rundown part of Albany, and she has little money as she learns English and looks for work.
Lisa is shy and independent, she very much hates to ask for help, in fact, Ali and I have to pry out of her what she needs. We believe we have found her a new apartment that is clean and safe, but it will be a month or so before the paperwork is processed and she can move in.
Ali persuaded her to come to me for help, and he also persuaded her to agree to be photographed, this was very difficult for her. She is getting more comfortable with it, especially when Mudasir agreed to pose with her and Baseer.
He is going to do very well in America, he’s got the sparkle in his eyes.
She may need some help with the deposit, and we discovered today that she needs just about everything – money for laundry, for clothes for herself and for Mudasir and Baseer, soap, deodorant. There is a gaping hole in her sofa.
She admitted for the first time that her food stamps are not enough for her and the boys, she needs help with groceries. I gave her $500 last week, and $400 today.
We found a state housing authority that will pay all of her rent, we believe, in the new apartment. She also hopes to have work by then, her English is getting very good, she and I were able to talk to one another throughout our meeting today. Soap and deodorant and food are tied to dignity and peace of mind. A rational government would have helped her by now.
Mudasir reads my blog and says he will make sure I don’t misspell any of their names. He misses nothing, and is fearless. We connected pretty quickly, and were thumb wrestling by the end of our visit. I won.
I gave each of the boys $20 to get a toy or anything they want. Lisa nearly cried when she thanked me for that, she said it has been a very long time since either of them had a toy.
Lisa’s Children, Mudasir and Baseer
Her sons were remarkable, bright and courteous and lively. I got them each a “blue” donut, which they happily gulfed down and they made fun of my big black camera and suggested I get a smaller and lighter one. I told them I just got this one. I’d like to get to know these two boys better and help them if I can.
Lisa very much wanted me to meet them, her eyes remain the saddest eyes I have seen, and she misses her husband dearly, she said he always made all of them laugh. I hope we can help return some laughter to her life.
So our plan is to meet with Lisa weekly and help stabilize her life with personal items like soap and clothes for her and the boys. We will see her through the bureaucratic hurdles involved in getting to her new apartment, the one she is in is dreadful, tiny and poorly kept. That is not her fault, the entire building is a mess.
She and the kids need to get out of there. If you wish to help Lisa get through this to an open field – we are close – you can help by continuing your generosity by sending a donation to the Gus Fund, c/o Jon Katz, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., or via Paypal, [email protected]. Small donations are welcome. Bigger ones too, of course.
Lisa and her family are quite special. She is bright and honest and eager to work and find independence. Asking for help and receiving it have been very difficult for her, but she and I and Ali are getting much more comfortable, she even gave me a warm handshake today and a smile when we said goodbye.
Thanks for helping her, this will take a month or so, but Ali and I talked about it, and we agreed she is very much worthy of our help. We will stay with her and help her get where she needs to go, and she will do the rest.
This family needs our help, they are our brothers and sisters in America, no matter what any politician says.
There is only one way to get Lisa to smile for a photograph, and that is to mention the name of her husband Abdul, a young Afghan man who worked for the U.S. Army in Afghanistan driving food supplies to Americans on military bases.
One morning several years ago, he was killed in a roadside bomb, targeted by terrorists seeking out Afghans who worked with Americans and killing them and their families.
Lisa, who is now 27, but has an older face, was left in terror with two small children. She said she loved Abdul very much, she misses him every day and thinks of him always. She hid with her children for months. She had no money or other resources.
I spent more than an hour with Lisa and Ali in a Dunkin Donuts in Albany, N.Y., and the only time she smiled when was she mentioned Abdul and thinks of him. She is quiet and shy, her heart, she says, was broken that day. She does have a beautiful smile.
Like all of the Afghan Muslim women I have met, she was frightened about having her photo taken by a strange man.
I told her, as I often do, that it was necessary to photograph her in order for people to help her.
I said I promised the people called the Army Of Good that they would see the faces of everyone they help, and I have not broken that pledge. As a reporter, I cajoled and pled with people all the time to talk to me and pose for me, I am sometimes disturbingly good at it.
I said I would not use Lisa’s last name or mention her village, she has relatives still living in Afghanistan, and they are not able to come to the United States now. She is worried about them.
After Abdul was killed, Lisa knew she was a target. For weeks and weeks, she simply stayed in bed and other hiding places cried for Abdul, she remembers little of that time.
“When Abdul was there, the whole family was so happy,” she said. “He was a good and loving man, he loved to play with the children and he was proud to work with the Americans.” The sadness in her face when she speaks of him says so much, I think there is not much laughter in her life now.
Lisa has no bitterness or anger at the challenges life has brought her way, she is still mourning her husband and worried about her brother and her children. It is a difficult thing for many of the refugee women who come here, they are under so much pressure to enter our culture and get a job.
It is difficult for Americans to understand that taking a photo can be a death sentence, or that giving up a hajib can make the difference between getting a job or not. For many of these women, getting a job outside of the home was unthinkable. They are doing it.
Lisa is determined to make a good life for them in America, but like many refugees, she is struggling to climb out of the dark hole that can often be the first days of the refugee experience, especially now. Until recently, the federal government helped the refugees acclimate to the country with subsidies and special programs. Those are almost entirely gone.
Lisa was finally able to flee to Pakistan with her brother Sdiq, who is now 17, and her two children, Basser, who is seven, and Mudsir, who is five. She was pregnant with Mudsir, her daughter, at the time of Abdul’s death. When she came out of hiding, she made her way to a United Nations refugee camp in Pakistan and admitted to the United States in 2016. She would almost certainly not be admitted today.
She came to Albany and has been taking care of her children and taking English classes. She is working hard to acclimate.
She did speak some halting English, we were able to communicate most of the time. Ali filled in the blanks. She said it was very hard for her to talk about the bombing that killed Abdul, I could see that this was so.
She is in great difficulty now because of her brother, Sdiq. He lives with her, and she is responsible for him.
In Afghanistan, Sdiq never went to school of any kind, he worked odd jobs there. When they came here, welfare officials, gave Lisa a rent subsidy for an apartment she says is overrun with mice and roaches. But they said Sdiq had to go to school, or they would cut off her subsidy.
Sdiq reported to a local high school, but he spoke no English, had never set foot in a school, understood nothing about what was happening, and the school made no special arrangements for him there. He was frightened, ridiculed and unable to function there. He left school, and local welfare officials immediately cut off her subsidy.
Lisa used up what little money she had paying the rent, she now has no money and cannot work until she learns more English and her children are older.
She could not explain to city welfare officials why Sdiq could not return to school, they said it didn’t matter what she said, they had cut off her rent. Confronted with the choice of forcing her brother to leave or letting him stay, she chose to let him stay. Sdiq, says Ali, is desperate to work and help the family, but he is legally too young at 17, and is caught between two cultures.
We have a good plan, I think, for helping Lisa. We contacted a state housing authority and they examined her case and said they would find a suitable apartment for her, pay the full rent, but the apartment would not be available until September.
This special housing program is well-regarded by the refugees and local immigration officials. There are long waiting lists.
The authority inspects the apartments regularly and insist that the water and electricity are working, that there are no rodents or roaches, and that the landlords repair any damage or broken pipes or doors.
With their support, Lisa will have a clean and comfortable apartment and the rent will be paid until she can find work. Sdiq will be able to stay there, and soon, he will be old enough to work. There is no way to get her out of her apartment until September.
It took a lot of questions from Ali and me to get Lisa to admit that while she had food – food stamps – she had no money for anything extra.
She said she could not afford deodorant and good clothes or shoes for the kids. She hung her head when she told us that on the eve of Eid, an important religious holiday celebrated by Muslims worldwide to mark the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting in honor of the prophet Mohammed, she had no new clothes for her children, as is the custom.
Earlier in the day, we gave $300 to Hawah, whose children had no proper clothes for the Eid ceremony on Friday, tomorrow.clothes for the ceremony.
Today, I gave Lisa $500 so that she could buy clothes, some extra food, personal items for herself and her children, and things like soap and towels.Tonight, Ali is taking Hawah’s children and Lisa’s children shopping for clothes for Eid.
Her story left me saddened and speechless. Lisa has the saddest eyes I have ever seen on a 27-year-old women, she has endured hard and unrelenting years.
She does not have a bank account, so Ali will cash the check and give the money to her tomorrow.
“With this money,” Ali said, “she can live like a human being again, she will use is very wisely.”
Lisa was embarrassed to meet me in her apartment today because of the roaches and mice, but she invited me to meet her children next week in the apartment.
So our plan is this, Ali and I talked about it this afternoon. We will give her small amounts of cash for herself and her children until September, when her new apartment will be available. If necessary, we will support any efforts for extra tutoring in English. We will make sure her children have the clothes they need for school and the shoes they need.
We will communicate with the housing officials who are finding an apartment for Lisa and her family. We will meet with Sdiq and see if we can help him in any way.
Lisa struck me as the nicest person, a very gentle soul.
We are helping the refugees in a very direct and bounded way. We are changing lives and outcomes, thanks to the Army Of Good..
Saad is happy and secure in his new apartment. Hawah and her children are safe and comfortable in their new three-bedroom in apartment, they are out of the homeless shelter that was a horror for them, and Hawah has been hired by a dress shop. Shaheen gave her landlord the $600 we gave her and she can remain in her apartment for the foreseeable future.
We are finding that we can help some of these refugees buy the time they need to get settled, and we can help them navigate the bureaucracies and bureaucrats who control so much of their early life in American.
Please help me help Lisa if you can she is a good mother and a good person who needs some support so she can, as Ali says, live like a human being in the land of plenty. Her husband gave his life for America, and that encourages me to return the favor.
It will cost us little benefit her greatly. Small acts of great kindness.
If you want to help Lisa or any of the refugees here, please send a contribution to me at Jon Katz, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, or via Paypal, [email protected].
It is so much better to do good than argue about what good is. The refugees are us, our brothers and sisters, they are our story, told anew. Thanks for any help you can offer.
I’m fighting back – I lost a lot of flowers in the past week or so. On this cool and sunny day, I visited Judy Page (above), the wonderful gardener who has sold me some of my most beautiful flowers, and Anne of Hickory Wind Farm.
Judy sold me tour beautiful Lisanthus flowers, and Anne sold me a dwarf Lily at the Farmer’s Market. She is a remarkable person (she works at Moses Market Stand several days a week in the summer.) She plants and grows wonderful flowers and some vegetables.
We are on the mend.
And lots of my flowers are bounding back. You’ll see for yourself in the coming days and weeks. Have to go. This is a whirlwind day. We are off to Williamstown to see the Barbie movie and much of America. Wednesday, I’m seeing Oppenheimer. Two exciting movies might be the last ones we see; the entire entertainment industry is on strike.
I’ll try to write about Barbie if I get home in time. I’m trying to shake off the sad news about Shift. I don’t want to be selfish about it, they are doing what is best for them, and I wish them every good luck in Maine and thanks for the beautiful food they have made for us.
I won’t lie though, it makes me sad.
New dwarf Lillies with fat buds
They call this flower “Strawberry Fields…”
Judy, who grows some of the most beautiful and original flowers I’ve ever seen, sold me two more Lisanthus flowers this morning. They seem ready to bloom; I love taking pictures of them.
The week is ending beautifully. The flowers I planted early in my garden beds are thriving; they got through the cold with flying colors and are blooming with beauty. I’m going to plant some more flowers this weekend.
The big news for me is Flosade, the Bishop Gibbons refugee senior heading to college in the fall. We raised money for her tuition and room and board so she could live on campus.
Now that her position at the college is secure, I’m trying to raise money for her expenses – clothes, textbooks, furnishings for her room, some movie and music money. Yesterday, people donated $700 for the personal expenses fund. My grandmother used to call it walk-a-round money.
It is a wonderful thing to help get this very worthy young woman to the collage of her choice. She has no car, and communicating daily would have been impossible and exhausting.
She is a brilliant student, and she means to be a doctor. She’ll do it with the help of some very good people.
We also opened up the South pasture this morning for grazing. And it’s warming up. The sky was hauntingly beautiful this morning. I feel happy and strong today.
I haven’t seen the mail yet.
I’m going to see Folasade and Sue Silverstein today at Bishop Gibbons. I’m eager to talk with her and get some new pictures.
If you wish to help – I’m looking for $2,000 more – you can do so via Paypal, [email protected], or Venmo, Jon-Katz@Jon-Katz-13, or by check, Folasada Expenses Fund, Jon Katz, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.
She goes to college in August, a dream comes true for a beautiful human being.
These flowers are small, babies. I don’t know their names, but I love taking their picture.
This morning, we opened up the South pasture, and we had very happy sheep and donkeys. No more hay until October or November.
