At the farm, a day off from worry, a search for joy
Posted At: Wednesday, December 24, 2008 10:02 PM | Posted By: Jon Katz
Self-absorption is a sin of conceit, I think, and so is gloom, and today, I am taking the advice of Sally from Phoenix and taking a day off from worry. I try not to present a false picture of life on the farm, so present the bad news with the good stuff, but I do think in these times there is a tendency to take ourselves seriously, and for some to become addicted to worry and fear. Sadly, fear is more compelling than joy, and drowns out peace and happiness.
Sally writes that despite some troubles, it has been a good year for her and her family, and she hopes she has shared this good fortune with others in every way that she can.
“We are looking forward to a good year ahead and have great hope for the future for the country. Things can be bad, scary, worrisome, and even frightening, but it is still a beautiful world and hopefully everyone will find a little bit of joy tomorrow,” she writes.
Her wish for me, she added, was to have a joyous and peaceful day, and to feel good about my life, and about my stories, journals and photos.
I’m with Sally. For me, this is a beautiful world and I will seek out joy tomorrow, and when I find it, I will pass it along. Sally is a wise person.
Christmas story: A dying rooster, questions of mercy
Posted At: Wednesday, December 24, 2008 9:48 PM | Posted By: Jon Katz
Winston this morning, unable to rise
When I came into the barn this morning, I found Winston lying prone on the floor near the heat lamp, unable to stand or move. Two of the chickens were beginning to peck at him, which is what chickens do when other chickens – or even roosters – are dying. Winston has always protected his hens, but notions of mercy are different in the animal world, much as we like to emotionalize animals.
I could not handle the thought of Winston being pecked at. I remember his injuring his leg to save his hens from a hawk, and his surviving a savage attack by his son Winston Jr. last summer.
So I got a large dog crate, hauled it into the barn, put water and corn and grain and a bed of hay in it, and put Winston inside, where he will spend his last hours or days, under the lamp and safe from his own hens.
There are questions of mercy for me also. Normally, I would think about putting an animal out of its misery when it can no longer move, protect itself, or even eat much. I have killed lambs, sheep, a rooster and chickens for that reason. I could get an axe and chop Winston’s head off, as real farmers do, or shoot him, which would be quick and prevent suffering.
But I can’t do either. Winston will live out his natural life, however long that is. I just don’t have it in me to kill him, even if it might be the best thing for him. He is safe and relatively comfortable, and that’s the best I can do, especially on Christmas, but even beyond.
I think this is ultimately what separates humans from the animal world, and highlights the differences between us, much as we like to think they are just like us. I don’t really know of an animal that ponders notions of mercy. Left to their own devices, Winston’s own hens would have pecked him to death by now.
Merry Christmas. Being a better human
Posted At: Wednesday, December 24, 2008 7:45 PM | Posted By: Jon Katz
Merry Christmas from the dogs of Bedlam Farm. And from me, and the donkeys and sheep and barn cats and Winston, who is still hanging on, and the hens. My friend the shaman says 2009 will be a better year. I believe her, as she has an outstanding track record of predictions and insights. I am always pleased and surprised that people find the blog uplifting and inspiring, as I am perhaps not as positive a person as I suggest everybody else should be. I’m working on it though.
Each morning I consider how I can be a better human during the day. Call a friend, take a good photo, write something that is good, eat something healthy, make a good decision, create, create and create. Some days I pull it off, not always. I am learning that attitude is something of a choice, and I choose to move forward, do my work, live my life.
Last year, I was moving all the time, this year, I am learning to slow down, consider things, try and be more thoughtful, stay within myself. I have begun meditating. I pick a word and say it when I exhale, and when something distracts me – something always distracts me – I say, “oh, well,” and go back to my word.
It’s new to me, but I like it. It takes practice. I thank all of you for the praise and encouragement so many of you have showered on me, all year, when my book “Izzy&Lenore,” came out, for my photos and gaseous musings, for my decisions, with my head struggles, even my decision about Elvis, Luna and Harold and the goats. Some people gave up on the blog, and me, most assumed I had good reasons and were supportive. Thanks for that.
The blog is a digital village, an electronic community and community is important these days and all days. If I have inspired you, then you have inspired me. A great and continuing gift.
And I have many gifts. I am fortunate to be a writer, a photographer, to have the friends and family that I have, and the dogs and animals, and this farm. It is my muse, my creative lodestone, my identify.
This was an important year for me. I will celebrate it and you this Christmas. I expect a better year for all of us.
Merry Christmas.
Joy is Peace Dancing -
Posted At: Wednesday, December 24, 2008 1:01 PM | Posted By: Jon Katz
– Peace is Joy At Rest. (author unknown).
Here at Bedlam Farm, the animals and I will be celebrating a quiet week with family and friends, and animals and dogs. I will be spouting off throughout, sending our signals out to the world. Happy Xmas Eve.
Okay, lighten up
Posted At: Wednesday, December 24, 2008 12:57 PM | Posted By: Jon Katz
December 24, 2008 – It’s good to talk about fear and worry, and I will keep doing that from time to time. But it’s also important to lighten up, and remember that joy is always present, as someone reminded me, if we are open to it. People find it in God, in love, in dogs and in beauty, and in the many wondrous things that they create.
Let’s lighten up a bit. Animals teach me, among other things, that I am ridiculous and know little, and should not take myself or my ife too seriously.
The news on the screens does not capture the totality of life, promise or hope, just a part of it.
Happiness does not come from money, as many are learning, and as challenging as life can be, it is also a choice. I am moved by the bravery, determination, faith and passion in people.
We have some say over how wretched we choose to be, and how much fear to cling to. I want to celebrate the many great things I have in my life, my family, friends, work, dogs, photography, writing and my beloved farm. They all bring me joy, and I’m going to focus on that over the next few days. I am moved, as always, by the connection between so many viewers of this blog, and me and my life.
So is loss and suffering. Bad times define us as much, perhaps more as good ones. We don’t get to write our own epitaph, but if I did, I would want mine to say that I worked hard to appreciate the promise in life, and to be fulfilled.
So I’m going to focus on the joy of this week for a few days, and I hope the good people reading this can do the same. I have experienced fiasco and bliss, as the mythologist says, and expect to experience more. I am nothing but lucky.
