Hospice Journal: Helen's third poem – "The Road to Life."

Lenore, the Warrior of Love, at her post on Helen’s bed.
She packs a love wallop.

                                The Poet Emerges, Again

April 6, 2008 – After much fussing and squawking, Helen got down to the work of her third poem, “The Road to Life.” I have to confess I wasn’t sure we’d get this one out, but I knew when I walked in today that we would, as Helen was sitting up and waiting for me, looking for trouble, and complained that “you are getting me all serious and philosophical. What chance do I have against the two of you? I’m just a sick old lady.”
  “Yeah, yeah,” I said, “I’m starting to think you’ll outlive me. Maybe you are the Queen of England. Let’s get to work. You have more fans that I do, and they are waiting.”
  With that, Lenore hopped up onto Helen’s bed, her favored spot, and Izzy went to hang out with Warren. We all hope Helen will get out into her garden Monday afternoon.
   Some of this poem was composed by Warren Saturday night, but Helen added much to it this afternoon. I am surprised – I am often surprised these days – that the poems mean so much to this couple, as each one gets deeper and more honest and more revealing. The poems I bring with me mean as much or more. If the fate of the dying is to sometimes be shunned by a world that doesn’t want to consider death, Helen’s life is being recognized, and I can see what that means to her, and to Warren.
  This is Helen’s third poem, and I no longer have a clue as to how many there will be:

                               The Road to Life

  Warren: We were talking today,  thinking about the road to life,
 and about Helen and I,
 and I was thinking that sometimes you see wildflowers, and their beauty has bloomed,
 and they are still beautiful, even when the flower has died,
 but the stems are broken.

  That’s my life with Helen,
  still beautiful,
  But the stems are broken.

  Helen: You see, the flowers are still beautiful
  but the stems are broken. That’s sad, I know,
  but it’s the way life is.

  It’s been a long road for me and for Helen,
  and some things are easier to deal with than others,
  and some things you can’t really ever deal with
  and can’t ever laugh about
  like the death of a son.

  I think of myself as a person who hopes he’s
  strong enough to deal with these things.

  Helen: I think we were lucky. It worked.
  Sometimes, it just takes some luck, and that’s what we had.

  Warren: When I married Helen, she was 19
  and I was 20.

  And I looked at myself in the mirror, and looked at the face looking back,
  and I said one day you will be old and  feeble.
  and I asked myself, I am as I am now, but what will I be down the road?
  what will she be?

  Do I want to go down the road with this person?
  Will I want to be there when we are both old and feeble?

  Looks are not what I’m talking about
  I’m talking about a person.

  And I said yes, and so did Helen,
  we said we will go down that road together,
  and we did, and we have.

  Helen: You know, today, looking out this window, I see the sky
 is changing. It’s a different color of blue.  I thought I saw
 a Redwing, but it might be a Blackbird. Yes, a Blackbird.

  Warren: And so now we are old and feeble,
  and here we are, and Helen is as beautiful to me now,
  lying in that bed as she was back in Michigan 60 years ago.

  Helen: Well, that is very sweet.

  Warren: It may sound odd, but when people
  have been together as long as Helen and I have,
  then you are half of something.

  Half the strength of the whole,
 and you give that strength to the other half.
 
  Helen. That is true. We have always given strength to each other.

  Warren: We always knew we could come
  to the end of the road,
  but we will be together on another road,
  I have that sure and certain hope
  I have no doubt about it and our
  dogs and cats will be there, too.

  Helen: One of us will go on ahead, that’s for sure
  and the other will be along. Do you really think
  one of us would want to go on without the other?

  Warren: The other will be along,
  and we’ll stroll down the road, together, I guess,
  forever.

  There will be wildflowers,
  fields of flowers,
  and the stems will be straight again.

  ___

   Warren: Please notice I didn’t mention anything
   about harps or wings.
   Helen: Yes, please, no harps.

 
 

Izzy and Helen looking out together, at the back yard and the gardens. The two of them
sat like this for quite awhile, and I was struck once more by Izzy’s almost empathic ability to enter the moment and spirit of a person’s life.