Maria at work

   The Studio Barn is on my register of sacred places. Maria and I became friends when she moved into the Studio Barn to do her work as an artist, making quilts and other fiberworks. She would often show up at night, work into the morning.
  Sometimes I brought popcorn over, and we would about art and life, and my photography and writing, and her art. We did not imagine anything more than that, nor did either of us ever think for a moment we would ever get divorced.
  But we did, and here she is, and her we are. And when I stop writing, and take a walk, I often stop into the Studio Barn – nothing but a creative place, built to sell and service farm appliances – and see what the elves there are turning out. Today I heard the humming of the sewing machine and stumbled on the birth of a potholder.

Frieda taking a rest from her potholder duties

October 8, 2009 – Warm, cloudy. I’m tired. “Rose In A Storm” has been an exciting challenge, but a draining one. Almost done. I’m plotting a book tour for that book this way: I’ll rent a van, put some of the dogs in it, and drive across the country. I’ll do readings and talks along the way, from Boston to Seattle, maybe cutting down to San Francisco in the West and/or Atlanta in the East.
  This is my idea. It’s too soon to actually make decisions about the book tour – first I have to finish the book. But I like the idea of driving across the country. I’d love to take Rose, if she can handle it. We’ll see. Maybe if Lenore and/or Izzy is along, it could work for her.

  Women often tell me that some things are easier for me. Statistically, it’s easier for men to pair up than women, especially as they get older. We are a statistically-obsessed culture, but I can see that this is probably true. But some things are harder for men, and change would be one of them, I think.
  Men are usually branded as having a “mid-life crisis” when they change their lives, and they feel enormous pressure and responsibility. I think men have more trouble making friends than women, and working to keep them. I believe (these are generalizations) have more trouble opening up, showing vulnerability, getting help.
 I used to joke that the only men I liked were either tortured as children or humiliated as adults. There is some truth to that, also. Men sometimes need a shock to open them up, permit them to get into touch with their humanity and emotions.
  There was the myth of the Men’s Movement a few years ago, in which men were urged to run naked in the woods and beat drums. That is perhaps the last thing most men want to do. Women bought most of the Men’s Movement books because they wanted to understand men better.
  Men have not had a movement, and often find it hard to support one another. I am working to find men to talk to, and I am succeeding, make some wonderful friends. We’ve started going to lunch, and talking a bit to one another. We’ll see what happens.
  Change is not easy for men or women, at any age, and I’m not sure it’s helpful to compare the two. But I feel for men who want to change. It’s not an easy thing to do, whether you are 21 or 60.