October 18, 2009 – Had my first party last night, co-produced by Maria. Somewhere between 60 and 80 people came, I’m not sure. I was astonished that I knew so many people, and that they all came. They were all nice, and there was something affirming, supportive and symbolic about it. I’m not really a party type, and neither is Maria. But she is good at it, as she is at most things she does.
  This was a sweet party. We had cheese and muffins from Gardenworks, wine, beer, soda, crackers, somebody brought a carrot cake. There were people from bookstores – Margaret, Kay, Chris and Connie from Battenkill Books, Susan and Naftali from Red Fox. My friends Chris and Collin from Mannix (designers of this site) came with partners and spouses.
 Diane, Patrice and Tracy came from LARAC (The Lower Adirondacks Regional Arts Center) in Glens Falls. What a great place, and what lovely and dedicated people.
  People from my emerging and informal nice men’s group came – Bill, Rich. Some kids appeared, neighbors, Corinna Aldrich, my friend and photographer and some neighbors and farmers up the road. Keith from Hospice. Melissa and Kurtis came to be at the party and help figure out my Facebook posting issues.
  All kinds of artists and writers – Jacquie, Joan, the landscape writer, Keith, Christopher Smith and his wife Sharon. My friend and realtor Ginny Tremblay. Ben, who has worked hard fixing up the farm, and his wife Liz, who reminded everyone of Rachel Ray.
  Maria and I were exhausted – we had been up and running since dawn Saturday, going to supermarkets, liquor stores, getting ice, clearing tables, organizing things. Maria’s mom helped out.
  Rose tried to herd everybody and nearly had a nervous breakdown so I crated her. People want to pet dogs, but Rose does not want to be their friend. Life is complex for her.
   Izzy and Lenore were wonderful, polite, friendly and were both soon dozing in the middle of the living room as people climbed over them.
  The people at the party were gracious, helpful, loving. Funny, at ease. I barely got to speak to anybody, I was so busy helping with cars, drinks, food and coats. Some kids were watching Nickelodeon.
   Maria gave a tour of the Studio Barn and turned out having a small impromptu party of her own there – people wanted to see her quilts and potholders (somebody bought one). Frieda was in the Studio Barn crated woofing and hanging out. Maria dropped her cellphone in water (yes, I know about the rice, thanks) and the cheese and carrot cake vanished.
  I didn’t take photos because I was too busy, it was too crowded – at one point, even the farmhouse seemed too small – and it seemed, rarely, to be too personal.
  From dogs to parties, there is always a subtext to what people do, a context.
 I felt, perhaps for the first time in my life, that I am part of a community I really want to join and where I feel comfortable. That’s new for me.
  Washington County is a very special place for me. A wondrous mix of real, down-to-earth humans, and creative people. This mix, rare in places I have lived, is what is so special about this place.
  Where else do you munch cake with a farmer on one elbow and an artist on the other?
  It is not a perfect place, anymore than my or anybody’s life is perfect, but it is my place. It’s home. I intend to finish out my life here. And I have a good ways to go.
 A lot of people raved about the farmhouse – many had not seen it before – and the farm and told me I was out of my mind for even thinking of selling it, especially right now. People signaled in all sorts of ways that they were happy for me, and that I seemed happy, and that they were glad. That is the definition of friendship, I think. Friends are happy when you are happy.
 I felt it was a kind of coming out for Maria and I. I don’t mean this as a complaint, because I am so lucky, but we had a challenging time last year and this marked the beginning of another time.
There are and will continue to be challenges in this time as well – that is how life works – but we are a couple now, I guess and perhaps that was on my mind when we decided to have the party.
  I have to say I am spinning a bit, but I loved the first party I ever threw.
  It was exhausting – we were up past midnight cleaning and doing dishes. I wouldn’t want to host a party too often. But I was very happy with my party.
  I do want to do it again. Maybe once a year. A signal to the world. I am happy, growing, changing, living my life.
  As Mary Oliver says, put your lips to the world. And live.