Up at dawn – renewing the fear campaign

Working for the cover

The covershoot campaign continues with my patient, media-savvy dogs taking their positions. Came closer this morning but I will give it a few more rounds.

In the two years since I realized I had issues regarding fear, and that fear was driving much of my life,  I have used a number of tools to combat it. This blog, therapy, medication, Church, work with my dogs, conventional medicine, books, homeopathy, energy work, hospice work, writing, photography, psychiatry.

It’s been a tussle, I have to say. First, it took me much of my life to see I had a problem, and then the process of figuring out what to do about it.  I have discovered this is an epidemic problem in modern America, which can be a stressful place, even before the Great Recession.

All of these tools have benefited me. Being open about this was a good move. I got a lot of encouragement, and it kept me from hiding from it again. Therapy has saved my life, I believe, and kept me from awful trouble and perhaps a grim fate. It has also opened the way for me to make powerful human connections, explore new and creative options, and begin to make room for life, rather than worry about life.

And to understand what happiness is. It is not a perfect life, or a life without pain, fear, loss or disappointment. Quite the opposite. It is the ability to deal with these things, which afflict all of us, and are an integral part of life. Few people e-mail me any longer about my having the perfect life, and I appreciate that. Not something I would want.

Recently, and to my surprise (isn’t this a theme in my life?) I am finding that meditation is helping me break through to another level, to quiet my mind, to see myself in healthy and revealing ways. I said at the beginning of this year that one of my goals was to learn how to be more peaceful within myself, something that is important to me. I am not there yet, but I am excited about pursuing the practices of Zen meditation. I am heading to a session this morning, leaving before dawn. Hoping to take photos along the way. Details to follow.