New feature: Tales Of The Mad Farmer.

Alice and Meg took some time out from their industrious bug and worm eating to sit on a fencepost and observe the goings of the Mad Farmer, and I imagine them to be gossiping and discussing the strange things they are seeing:

Mad: I enjoy that nice young woman who comes to see us every morning. So sweet..

Alice: Yes, yesterday she brought some butternut squash and then some grease and some apple slices. And old Cheerios. Very sweet. Kneels down right on our level. Lots of emotion, you can see it, one of those animal-loving humans. Not like some of them…

Meg: Yes, and she seems to live with that big strange man who is always pointed that big thing in my face and clucking at me.

Alice: Yes, well did you see him this afternoon? He was walking on the road, talking to a donkey. I can’t see our Winston doing that. What do you expect from a human like that?

Meg: I like it up here.  Those dogs seem all right, except for the big and brown one. Sometimes when she looks at me, I think she would like to eat me —

Alice: They would. They all would. You know what they are like.

Meg: Not the big black one. She seems awful dumb. Simple-minded. All she does is walk around and sniff and eat.  Kind of simple and useless, if you ask me. Anyway, Winston is crowing again. What a blowhard sometimes — I understand he’s just doing what they do, but I would love to come up to him once and say, “Hey, how about you shut up for a bit? There’s nothing going on here.”

Alice: Don’t.

Meg. Let’s get down. I see some moths over by the barn. Yum.