Sunrise, the Studio Barn

  November 4, 2009 – A blog is a personal thing and often, a surprising one. I get a lot of messages these days telling me how much happier I seem and how different my writing is. This surprises me, of course, as does much of my life.
  I guess I rarely think of myself as happy, but writing doesn’t lie, and neither, over time, does a blog. People are picking up something.
  Like many people, I have had a challenging year. I have wrestled with change, fear, the challenge of writing different things, of learning how to take good photos, of learning children’s books, or understanding what a real relationship is, of struggling to sleep, or sorting out what I want to need and know from the avalanche of bad news pouring in on us all day long.
  I was sorry to see the donkeys and sheep and cows and goats leave the farm. And to say goodbye to some important people in my life.
 I have learned a lot of things about myself, and a lot of them are not good things.
  So I scratch my head a bit at the idea that I am happy.
  But I also see the point. Maria is wondrous gift, that leaves me shaking my head. I have a wonderful daughter, and I love talking with her. I love my work, every minute of it. Every photo I take is a joy, every book a labor of love, every day a gift. I have never enjoyed dogs more, and I have four wonderful ones. I have more to look forward to than I can possibly even list. Next year will see publication of “Rose In A Storm.” Maria and I will travel around the country and abroad.  I will have two photo shows. I will teach two story-telling workshops. I expect to sell the farm and move to a New Bedlam Farm, a new kind of creative space. I have some wonderful new friendships to build.
 I will write a sequel to “Rose In A Storm,” set in the Adirondacks. I am learning to manage my life, sanely and productively, a never-ending process.
 So thanks for reminding me that I am happy. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I am afraid to believe it. But I think it’s true.