When you can’t stop crying,
and your spirit shakes with fear.
Here is something for you.
An idea for you.
Hope for you.
Do nothing.
Hug them both,
as tightly as you can.
Open up your heart,
and let the tears rinse
the hurt and fear out
your soul,
and into the world.
And thank the sadness,
and bless the fear,
with all your heart,
for washing your spirit,
and letting it sparkle
in the light and beauty
and color and promise,
that is what you deserve.
That is your life.
Some things do not need too many words. Rocky is changing, connecting, remembering.
Wordless time.Walking on my path, I cried to think of leaving my beautiful farm, my blood, heart and soul deep in the soil and the house and the barns. My life. It is time to go, no doubts or regrets. But I wanted to let myself be sad at the reality of it.
Thursday Afternoon Album. A wordless time. More here and on Facebook.
I miss Rose, of course, but also, I miss having a dog like Rose. She kept the lid on for me, and her vigilance and focus are missing sometimes on the farm, as much as I love Frieda, Lenore and Izzy. Frieda is focused on people, not animals, Izzy is a snuggler, and Lenore loves everything that lives, and many things that do not. Whenever a fox came around, Rose knew it, came to me, and we went out and made noise together. She drove foxes and racoons off, and knew instantly when something strange was around – a stray dog, a rabid skunk, coyotes. I would not have shot at a fox with Rose, just let her out to drive the fox off.
So I want to get another dog, and I want another border collie. I’ve had great luck in the way I choose dogs, especially after I made many mistakes and learned from them. I think of Orson, certainly, but mostly I think of Pearl, Izzy, Lenore, Rose and Frieda (I didn’t choose her, but she is much loved here). For me, a dog is not a rescue procedure, or a good work, although it can sometimes be that. I want the right dog more than the rescue, unless both work out. A dog is not a moral decision for me, like going to Church, but a practical one. I owe it to the dog to pick him or her carefully, and for sound reasons, so that we can live together happily and safely for years. I do not want to get a dog so that I can feel good about myself. That means there is no single way to get a dog – breeder or rescue or shelter or happenstance – only the way that works best for the dog, for me, for my family and my work.
So I will take several months to think about getting a dog. I l will read books, look at rescue sites and breeder sites. I talk to vets, trainers, friends, find people who good experiences, consider the specific things I want and need. I want to get a dog from a person I can talk to, who understands my needs and thinks of the pairing as a match to be considered thoughtfully.
In this case, I need a working dog. I also need a grounded dog, a dog who can handle emergencies, loud noises, unpredictable happenings, big and stubborn animals from donkeys to sheep to horses and cows. I need a dog with a rock-solid temperament. Who knows to back up when a rabid raccoon shows up hissing and drooling. I need a dog who can withstand the pressures of being a public dog, well-known and observed. After Orson, I mean to see that no dog of mine ever harms another animal or human. I don’t want to be told that my dog was abused or high-strung but is nonetheless good-hearted. All dogs are good-hearted. That doesn’t mean they are right for me or my life. I want to know that my dog can go into a bookstore with 100 people and a dozen or so screaming kids and get whacked and pulled and stepped-on and handle it. That is so with Lenore. It needs to be so with a border collie as well. I want to know the dog is receptive to training, and was not damaged genetically, in the litter, or by the many other behavioral circumstances.
I am not especially interested in other people’s advice about getting dogs. We are all different, have different needs. It’s a personal thing. I do not listen to people who plead with me to get a dog one way or another. They do not have my best interests at heart, but their own agendas. I want a dog I can spend years with working together and living together happily. That takes some work and thought. I have a lot of good and solid farm work for a border collie – including sheep – and a lot of social interaction and opportunities to move about the world as well. I am not interested in trialing. I will keep you posted on the process.
When somebody asks me how to choose a dog, I always say this: “Don’t let anybody tell you how to get a dog. Choose a dog that works for you and your family. And for the dog. And good luck.” I will take that advice.
