25 February

Afternoon Meeting Topic: Humans Are Dumb

by Jon Katz
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So the new thing at Bedlam Farm – I have to say I just love living with animals, they never cease to catch me eye and make me wonder – is the afternoon meeting, called to order every afternoon by Strut, our rooster, the hens and the barn cat Minnie. Minnie has always loved to hang out with the chickens, I think she thinks she is a chicken. Chickens have a wonderful quality of looking grave and serious, pompous even, as if they have the most serious business in the world to conduct when they are usually just looking for a good perch and a worm or bug. Like politicians, I suppose.  Strut marches up and down, crowing every now and then, Minnie seems to be listening. I imagine they are talking about the longer days – more light – the appearance of some growth in the pasture (more bugs and seed) and perhaps bitching about the corn feed and the dry meal worms.

I imagine they are discussing a takeover of the farm,  taking over management of the place from these foolish, impulsive, pompous and disorganized humans,. We could make it work, says Strut. Humans are nice sometimes, says the hen, but they are dumb. They have to buy the things they eat, and are always driving off in a rush to buy things they often don’t need and can’t be used or re-used.  They worry about everything and accept nothing. They even get hysterical about the weather. Humans are surrounded by animals, but all of the animals are smarter than they are. They don’t quarrel, eat unhealthy things, pay taxes, go to Congress, argue on cable TV channels, spend hours in front of a TV screen. No self-respecting animal would watch human news for a minute. One day, says Minnie, when I come into money, I’ll build a no-argument,  no-kill shelter for these people and let them live out their days in peace. All this worrying about money, Facebook, e-mails and chopping up wood – it’s just going to kill them. See you here tomorrow.

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