25 July

Official Schedule (Exclusive): The Royal Baby Takes A Bath.

by Jon Katz
Royal Baby's First Day
Royal Baby’s First Day

Late this afternoon, Bedlam Farm released an official (and exclusive) schedule for The Royal Baby Lenore as interest grew in this very happy event. There were celebrations up and down the road.  The Royal Baby Lenore kept her heritage a secret for years, but today, in honor of the birth of George Alexander Louis, Lenore took her rightful place as the Royal Baby Of Bedlam Farm.

Her schedule:

3 a.m. Lenore, sleeping in bed, threw up some day old green apples she had been rooting out and eating for most of Wednesday. Lenore waited until it was quite quiet and dark, and the linens had been freshly laundered. The humans jumped shouting out of bed encouraging the Royal Baby Lenore to get off the bed and finishing vomiting outside, which she happily did, tail wagging all the way down.

4 a.m. The Royal Baby Lenore returned to bed and went to sleep, snoring loudly, rolling over onto her back, making strange noises as she dreamed perhaps of her next meal. She was kicked in her posterior, woke briefly, wagged her tail and returned to sleep.

6 a.m. The Bedlam Farm family arose, and Lenore ate her first meal of the day, one cup of Fromm Family food.

6:30 a.m. The Royal Baby Lenore went for a walk, eating grass and various sticks and berries on the way.

6:15. Lenore was released to accompany the family on their farm chores, but not permitted in the gate, where large amounts of sheep and donkey manure abound. Previous excursions to the pasture have resulted in unpleasantness it would be undignified to describe.  Instead, she was observed scouring the ground for more apples, stuffing several into her mouth, and offering them to the humans, tail wagging, walking in circles. She was observing crunching some and eating them.

She ate much of the chicken’s daily feed, found a few remnants of cat food near their bowls, gnawed on a flower in the family garden (ssssssh!). Looked like a Petunia, trampled some sunflower stalks, dug a hold near the back door so she might be cool.

9 a.m. Lenore retired to the writing study, jumped up on her couch, rested from the rigors of the morning.

10 a.m. – noon. The Royal Baby Lenore greeted the mail carrier, who she rushed to welcome and lick her leg. The Baby Lenore, well bred, does not ever bark at intruders, she welcomes them, she wags her tail furiously and licks their hands or feet. She took biscuits from the UPS and Fedex Drivers, greeted a jogger and bicyclist, an editor visiting the farm, a friend dropping off some tools.

Noon to 3 p.m. Spent, she retired to the sofa and rested until the mid-afternoon. She sunned herself in the dog park behind the house.

4 p.m. Lenore ate her second meal of the day, another cup of Fromm Family Food, then retired to her couch.

5 p.m. Lenore and her family went for a walk in the woods. She rolled in various deer, beer and coyote scat, dug various holes, ate various indeterminable things, waded into three separate mud holes, rolled over into them, covered herself in mud, sniffed the rear of Alex, a neighborhood Lab.

5:30 p.m. The Royal Baby was bathed, the mud and debris rinsed off of her, she is now rested on the living room floor with an antler bone, chewing it from time to time, resting in between, wagging her tail sporadically when there is any movement. Further updates in coming days.

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