I set the date and time settings and charged the battery and began fiddling with the new camera. I put my 24-70 mm lens onto the camera and set the ISO to automatic and just show Flo in front of the painting in the living room. The shot startled me, there was no light in the room but a 60 watt bulb in the lamp to the right of the Buddha statue Maria meditates near. I was struck by the color the camera picked up in the barn painting, especially the red and the yellow. I was also excited about the depth in the picture, how the camera pick up the shadows around the painting frame and even caught Flo’s whiskers
It was close to dark in the room and I could not have taken a photo with this richness and depth and clarity, at night, without a flash or a tripod. I am very excited to take this camera outside, although probably not for a day or two, given the storm approaching. I think this camera is going to make a major difference for me, a leap forward in my photography. I have a lot to learn about it.
The National Weather Service has put out a warning for a winter storm tomorrow and into Thursday, seven to fourteen inches in our area. I see it as the final goodbye of winter, the last storm. Today was a warm and sunny and beautiful day, we walked the dogs and felt warm for the first time that I can remember.
Spring is a creative season for me, I am kicking it off with a short story class I am teaching at Hubbard Hall in Cambridge, N.Y. It is a small class, limited to eight people, and I think there is one spot left. I am excited to teach this class and especially wanted it to be small.
It runs for four weeks, two hours each Saturday morning. We will come up with ideas, write the story, maybe find a way to publish them. This will be a personal class, intimate, lots of one on one. I have been teaching writing on and off for several years now, I have learned a lot about it. It is not easy to teach writing, it is not easy to learn how to do it. It takes a lot of work and focus and most people don’t have the time or inclination to do either.
Writing classes should be fun. They should be supportive. People need to be encouraged and affirmed in their work, not knocked down. I consider it a sacred thing when somebody lights up, when the creative spark is set off and I see a writer being born right in front of me. I have learned not to expect this or demand it, it has to happen naturally and spontaneously. Writing is internal, it has to come from the heart, it cannot really be taught, only encouraged if it is there. I know most people don’t want to do work too hard at it, I have learned to accept that, it used to bother me, but it is not my place to push.
I believe my students can go as far as they wish, or not go anywhere if they choose. Mostly I want them to leave feeling good about themselves and their work. I can’t wait to hear their ideas and talk about them. As far as this last and foolish storm goes, the cats are back inside, we have plenty of wood stored up, Maria and I are both scoffing at this storm, it seems a messy and pathetic thing, a last cold snarl, a last chance for me to capture the winter pasture.
It took a year or so in of planning, negotiating, trading, Kickstarting, but today my new camera, the Canon 1 DX arrived. Every piece of photographic equipment I have ever owned has come from B&H Photo, one of the most interesting, vibrant and mystical stores on the planet. My 5D Mark III began wearing out six months ago, I knew I had to get some new equipment, some of my best lenses were falling apart as well.
My book on Simon is coming out this fall, and I am eager to move on to my next project, “Talking To Animals,” the result of 15 years of research and observation. I knew I needed a new camera, and I knew I needed one that was fast and strong and great in low light. I started focusing on the 1DX, I read maybe a thousand online reviews, I talked to a score of photographers, I read countless magazine articles. This is a strong and powerful camera, combat and sports photographers love it, it is heavy, everyone calls it the “Beast.” The camera body alone costs nearly $7,000. It will be awhile before I buy another lens.
I must confess that I enjoyed negotiating with B&H Photo. I am not an observant Jew, I rarely get to feel Jewish, and I am not remotely like the Hasidic Sect that runs that store. Yet there is something about the experience that connects me to being Jewish, we all twinkle and wink at each other. Before the recession and my divorce and the struggle to sell Bedlam Farm, I never haggled, I never negotiated for anything, I just bought what I wanted. Now I have to get creative to be creative and I am not bad at it, not bad at all.
When I walked into B&H Monday morning, I handed them the order number of the 1 DX and handed over a lens I really loved. I’m buying this camera, I said, so maybe you will treat me well. The young man at the counter, a Hasid from Brooklyn, on the other side of Judaism from me, looked me in the eye and winked. “We treat everybody good,” he said, and we were off.
When I first went to New York with my Kickstarter money, I saw I was not able to buy the camera and the new lenses I needed. So I launched my Kickstarter project and went to New York again. I brought some lenses and acquired some new lenses, but I still did not quite have enough money to get this camera, the insurance, batteries, accessories, etc. I brought another camera to B&H, two more lenses and started negotiating. I did not expect to get this camera. But I kept at it, figuring out things I could trade, exploring different ways of buying this camera.
At B&H, they love to sell things, and I love to buy things. We met in the middle. We worked out an arrangement that is comfortable for me, I gave up a lot, I got the camera, I have to read the 450 page manual before I used it. I am excited about it and uneasy.
I gave up on it a half dozen times, I even walked away from buying it when I was last in New York, I wasn’t sure, I couldn’t justify it. By photographic standards, it is nowhere near the most expensive cameras, but it is up there for me. The trade-ins made a big difference, also having a few months to pay it all off. Photography has opened up the artist in me, I see my photography as my art, as an extension and expression of the way I see the world. Every photo tells a story, every photo is an emotional experience for me. I began taking pictures five years ago, I never took a photo before that, it came out of my relationship with Maria. She was the first person to encourage my art, my photos, and every one was and is a love letter to her. I show her every picture I take. Photography is a passion for me, it is my identity in so many ways, it is an integral part of this blog a way to practice my art and tell my stories.
I have learned so much. This wonderful new camera, which I am fortunate and grateful to have, will hopefully take me to a new place, once I slowly and carefully figure out how to use it. Tomorrow, I’m taking it over to show to George Forss, I want to see what he makes of it, I want to watch his fingers fly across the dials and settings. I appreciate the support I got for this project and this camera and for “Talking To Animals,” I can’t wait to get to work on it. I’ll be up pretty late poring over the manual. I’m going to have to learn how this one works. I will, of course, share the experience. I’m not sure if this is victory for determination or creativity, I hope it is an affirmation of both.
