I often think of my cold winter nights chasing sunsets with Izzy, my border collie and first hospice dog. We went every night to Kinney Road, and I was nearly run over too many times to count, Izzy would just go and lie still by the side of the road while I dragged my tripod around. I was in the midst of a brutal crack-up, was both terrified and depressed. My wife and I had just decided to get separate, and I was alone and frightened, losing my mind. I got in so much trouble, I gave all my money away, wandered the woods with Izzy and Rose in the middle of the night, my head was spinning, I was losing my religion.
I think my blog saved my life, I had just started taking pictures for the blog and drove every night in that bitter winter to Kinney Road, one of the few places around me with an open view of the sunsets. I don’t know if the photos were any good, but I was driven to taking them. I took each one for Maria, because she would call me every night at 6:30 p.m. to tell me she liked my photos – it was the only time she felt free to call, the only thing she felt free to call about. She was my lifeline, even then, I counted the minutes until 6:30, she only talked for a few minutes, it had to last me a long time until the next call.
My photography was born in those calls, each one a love letter to her, the way we could communicate then. Now,as the fall turns towards winter, I find myself chasing sunsets again, this time with Red, this time I am more careful, I think I was hoping to kill myself standing out there in the dark on Kinney Road, I almost did. I’m glad I didn’t. I love sunsets, they are a beginning and an end, the joy, mystery and crisis of life.