When Maria and I first got together, I was living in a different reality, financial and otherwise. Our first trip together was to a first-class hotel in Boston, men in red uniforms bowing and scraping, a gorgeous room with a giant bed and a hotel with wonderful and expensive room service.

Maria, who had never had hotel room service, was a bit stunned. It was fun, but also rang a bit hollow, I recall.

Today we are living in a different reality, and a happier and healthier one. Our ideas of fun have evolved. A month ago we toyed with the idea of staying in a lovely and expensive Vermont inn for a couple of nights, it would have cost about $600 for food and room and fees for two nights. We scrapped the idea.

It just didn’t seem like us.

We are always looking for ways to survive the holidays, to make them fun and meaningful rather than depressing and intense. More and more, we have drifted away from ritual and obligation. Family is many things, but it has always been a struggle for both of us. I know it is a wonderful thing for many other people.

Then, we were driving by a funky old 50’s kind of hotel, it looked simple and clean, like something Norman Rockwell could have painted. (And might have, for a while he lived just a few miles away.) I loved the old neon sign which read “vacancy.” It looked like a peaceful little haven, unpretentious and welcoming.

So I had this very strange idea that we should spend a night there, it was a kind of throw-away fantasy, I thought of it as a joke. The motel is just over the border in Vermont, about 20 minutes from the farm. We’ve passed it a thousand times.

I joked to Maria, let’s go stay here in this motel one night during the holidays. We’ll bring good books, we’ll go out and eat something simple, sleep and read and come home the next morning. I’ll bring some earphones and listen to some Norah Jones and Leonard Cohen albums. We’ll sit up and talk.

That would be a neat holiday. It can’t be expensive, I said.

Maria, who gets things and love signs that I am mad,  thought it was a wonderful idea, different and interesting.

I told her I thought it was really a dumb idea, and then I dismissed it. What kind of person stays at a motel 20 minutes from home? But it kept coming back. I kept thinking of it, I kept mentioning it. We love traveling together, we love reading, we love getting away for short trips. We could do all of those things and be home the next morning in time to work.

Let’s do it, she kept saying.

We both woke up early this morning thinking about it. I went online and saw there was a special on for this motel, after New Year’s I could get a room with a King-sized bed for a little more than $70. The room had nice reviews, but also made clear this was not a first-class suite in a Boston hotel.

It was near some good family restaurants that were inexpensive. It was near a diner that served good breakfasts. The room looked fine, we saw it online. There was not much more than a big bed and a dresser with a big screen TV (which we never turn on.) The booking service said the room offer at that price – it is a quiet week for motels and hotels – would expire tonight. We can cancel anytime until the day before the reservation.

I booked it. We are going in a couple of weeks.

I guess the bottom line is that we are not only re-inventing our lives, we are re-inventing our holidays. Neither of us could care less that this is not a first-class hotel or an expensive and lovely old inn. We will be as happy to have a hamburger or a salad as a gourmet meal that costs $150 dollars.

I think we both need simple holidays, we need to be with just us. We need to be safe and feel safe and pause to be grateful to the many wonderful things in our lives. The next few years will challenge us, in a number of ways. I have to take care of my heart, Maria is building a wonderful artistic business, we will have to work hard to stay grounded and positive and do good in a country where ever single day seems to breed turbulence, anger and controversy. And so many people love it.

To some extent, we both will interact with the world and work for our values, we must also built our own world and take comfort and nourishment from it. Somehow, in ways I don’t fully understand, the motel is the beginning of this phase of the journey. Think of all the small trips we can take, the places we can see.

What we love is being together, being free to be ourselves, and celebrating love and connection rather than the heavy traditions and obligations of others. We know so many people who slog through the holidays because they always have, and always must. We don’t wish to be those people.

I still think this whole trip is a bizarre idea, Maria think it’s a wonderful idea. I am excited about going. If it all works out, this could open up a whole new idea for holidays and getaways. Our estimate of the cost is $125, tops, unless we order a lot of drinks at the restaurant.