Maria and I called the weekly Friday Bingo game at the Mansion, we had a full house and ran out of bingo cards. Sylvie came into the dining room to tell me that she didn’t care to play bingo – a young lover had played it before he died – but she had finished writing letters to all of her friends who write to her from the blog.
These letters are so important to Sylvie, she talks about them all the time, and we are working with her to try to make sure they are all stamped and addressed properly, many were getting returned. She said she is so grateful for her friends.
You can write to Sylvie c/o The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. And thanks, Sylvie is one of the best portrait subjects I have ever had.
I took out my monochrome camera today and shot these Petunias on the porch in black and white, I like challenging people’s perspective on things they are used to seeing in color. I see them in a completely different way.
The idea hit me at 3 a.m. this morning, soon after I met Lisa, another of the refugee women I have been working with in Albany. I’ve raised the idea with Ali and two of the women, and they are all excited about it. So is he.
The woman I have met have had a profound impact on me, emotionally and politically and spiritually. Most of them are single, living with small children. Our culture could hardly be different from the ones they have fled or barely escaped from with their lives.
Few of them worked in their home countries, had ever been photographed or moved about freely, or had the responsibility of feeding their families. In our Darwinian society, where the poor are often seen as lazy criminals, these women are anything but.
Often frightened and completely alone, with few or no resources or help, they are facing the great challenges they face with heart and strength, determined to give their children better lives. The times I have seen them together, I’ve been struck by their connection to each other, their empathy for one another, the only other people who truly understand what they are going through.
These woman must grieve, deal with their own trauma, tend to their children, learn English, find work, navigate cold and confusing bureaucracies, learn computing and new technology, cope with rigid and unsympathetic schools and social workers, find jobs with or without their jihabs and still feed and cloth their families. One thing they have in common – they have no money.
Refugees by definition have nothing, they lost everything in wars, genocides and natural disasters. They help they once received is gone. I am touched by their strength and determination, they never complain, whine or succumb to self pity.
They are not angry or resentful. I know people who have lost dogs and cats who complain much more about their losses than people who have lost their mothers, fathers, husbands and sons, homes and money, and who never complain at all.
These women are heroic to me, they just move forward. They are generous and concerned about one another. They accept help shyly and reluctantly.
They are an inspiring lesson for me.
Ali agrees that a women’s group would be tremendously helpful to them. There are many places the group could meet – in the apartment of Hawah, above, or in a library that has offered me a room anytime, or perhaps at RISSE, the refugee and immigrant center in Albany.
Ali and I already know five or six women who might be interested in gathering regularly to support and encourage one another, and help each other if they can.
The idea of a women group is a very American rather than Muslim or Arab idea, and I will not be the one to define it or shape it. That is up to them. They might define it very differently than I would. They need all of the help they can get, and they could be very important to one another as a support group.
One of them told me last week, “I didn’t know what a feminist was when I came to America, but those of us who are here alone, looking for work and with children to feed, with no English and no help from anyone, are all feminists, whether we know it or not.” A compelling statement, I thought.
I have already seen evidence of the great friendships that are spring up as they face their new lives. They care about one another and worry about one another. They need each other.
I talked with Ali about this early this morning, and he agreed it’s a good idea. So next week, we will begin asking the refugee women we know if they like the idea, and wish to move forward. One of them would have to come forward and take the lead, it’s not for me to do that.
I don’t see this as costing any money, I don’t see any need to raise funds for it.
If anyone is interested in supporting our work with the refugees, you can contribute by sending a donation to Jon Katz, P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816, or via Paypal, [email protected].
