14 September

Finding My Voice. Listen!

by Jon Katz
Finding My Voice

For much of my life, I have been searching for my voice, as happens to most writers and artists and people who wish to be creative. I lost my voice early on in life, and could not seem to recover it until I went to pieces right around the time of the Great Recession.

I suppose there is some meaning in that.

Voice is so essential to identity, if you can’t find it, you can’t quite know who you are. I believe I have to love or at least like myself, and I have to like my voice. It has to feel like me. That has been difficult.

I learned some years ago that I could not cure myself from helplessness and voicelessness.

Like so many recovering people, I had to accept my powerlessness to even begin to heal. I did the work.  Slowly, my voice began to emerge, to find it’s expression from deep within.

Part of it was Maria, I think love gives voice to the people who feel it, love is a difference language and emotion than almost any other feeling, it is really about voice in so many ways. Love for me is never silent.

My blog helped me to find a true voice. So did my very personal search for authenticity. No one is ever fully and without exception authentic, I am not nearly that pure. It’s a place to get to.

My photography brought me a long way towards finding my voice. The photograph above for example, is my voice in so many ways, it says so much more than I can say, and more simply and beautifully.

But I am learning to be honest, and to say what I feel. I learned that as long as I ran from who I was and where I was, I could not  really permit myself to be healed.

When you keep digging the seed up to check whether it is growing, wrote Henry Nouwen, it will never bear fruit. Think about yourself as a little seed planted in rich soil. All you have to do is stay there and be quiet and trust that the soil contains everything I need to grow.

I am finding my voice, spiritually, emotionally and literally. I am learning what it means to be authentic, the good and the bad of it.

And speaking of voice, I’ve installed a Quick Time audio player. I record comments on my pieces, read my poems and other people’s poems, share quotes from books and articles I’ve been reading.

For a week or two, I’ve been fiddling with a new microphone to go with a recording app I’ve installed, I’m, seeking to get my voice loud and clear for my readers. It is startling to me to hear my voice, I’m not sure what it sounded like. I’m trying to learn to like it.

I do like this new way of connecting with my readers, it deepens our conversation.

I think I’ve got the audio program and my microphone working in the way I want. I think I’ve found my voice here. See what you think, and thanks.

Audio: Finding my voice here online and on my blog. Finally!

4 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Email SignupFree Email Signup