13 November

Do Dogs Make Friends The Way We Do?

by Jon Katz

Bud seems to settle into our lives more a bit each day. He is calmer than when he first came, less fearful, more confident, he seems to love everyone in the family – dogs, cats, people, even the donkeys, who he loves to tease by charging at them and then veering off.

The donkeys don’t take it poorly, they are used to dogs and forgiving, they pay little attention.

Today I took him shopping with me into Bennington, we went to Petco, and I decided to bring him in, mostly to socialize him. I see no reason to bring dogs into stores and restaurants, it always seemed a bit obnoxious to me, unless it’s for the purpose of socialization. That was my idea with Bud.

He has a lot of poise, it was, to my knowledge, the first time he had ever been in a big store, walked through a busy parking lot, encountered streams of strangers, new sounds and lights.

Bud is more grounded that I thought, he was calm, curiously, friendly, well-behaved. In the car, he sat on the console next to me watching the scenery. He sat quietly in the car while I went inside of stores, he didn’t bark or get nervous. He is fascinated by the sights and sounds of the world, perhaps in his metal pen, he didn’t get to see much of it.

They say Boston Terriers are family dogs, this is so. He shares his toys and treats with Fate, puts up with her snippiness, is always happy to play with her or nap together. This photo caught their deepening connection.

I’ve written about Bud’s friendship with Red, but his friendship with Fate is  deepening also. Fate is much more high-strung and stand-offish with Red, she never lies close to another dog, not even Red, and never shares a dog bed.

That is changing, The two of them play for half the day, and now, in the cold, they both curl up next to the fireplace together. Fate is the one who needs calming, not Bud so much. These two seem to be good for each other.

Bud is changing all of the time. He is so different from when he first arrived, he is figuring us out, watching over all of us all the times. I didn’t realize small dogs could be so generous.

I wonder sometimes what friendship means to dogs. They are not like us, it can be the same thing, yet it also relies on trust, and openness and affection. I see that dogs listen to one another, talk to each other in their own ways, and watch out for each other.

Dogs are  radically more accepting than we are, and I believe they accept death as an integral part of life and don’t waste too much time on it. I do not believe dogs to be grievers and mourners. They move along, and inspire me to do the same. I don’t think dogs think back much on the dogs they knew and lost.

Yet, clearly, Bud needs friends and makes friends. He trusts them and treats them with care. That’s as far as I have gotten.

Bud has touched and impressed me, he has figured out his new family, set about making friends and treating them with love. I want to think more about dogs and their ideas of friendship.

1 Comments

  1. I once had a Boston Terrier named Jasmine. Jasmine loved to play with other dogs. I had her for a year or so before adopting another Boston, Beau, from a shelter. I was incredibly concerned about introducing them because I knew very little about Beau. As per something I read, I kept them both on leashes, my husband had Beau in the living room, I had Jaz in the family room. They could see each other. It was love at first sight! They were both very excited and whined to get together. After an hour I let them loose. They tore all over the house together, mad with joy. They came to a stop together and drank from the water bowl together. From that first night they were inseperable. They played like maniacs in the backyard every day. After four or five years Beau developed liver cancer and had to be put down. I made sure Jaz saw him after he died, so she wouldn’t think he had just disappeared. She spent the next two days in her basket, unmoving. She never played with another dog. We found her a new, half Boston friend who tried & tried to get her to play without a response. I don’t know for sure about grief, mourning, or love in dogs, except that I know Jaz loved Beau & once he was gone, she was never the same.

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