I’ve decided it’s time to help my dear friend Red leave the world in peace and comfort. With Maria and our vet’s consent, Red will be euthanized on Monday.
As you know, I don’t usually offer running commentary on the end of my dog’s lives, but I accept the reality that Red is not just my dog, but he belongs to so many other people. I owe you the truth.
I called Dr. Karen Thompson, my good friend this afternoon, and the wonderful herding dog breeder who gave me Red seven years ago.
She wanted him to have a full life, and she believed I could give it to him. I have worked hard to keep my promises to her.
She agreed with my decision, and I will forever be grateful to her.
Red is a once-in-a-lifetime dog for sure, from the minute he jumped out of the car and looked at me, he was just my dog. He never needed a leash and could be trusted with anyone anywhere at any time.
He is the kind of dog you can do anything with, he will go anywhere and live in the service of human beings.
I can’t count how many people he helped leave this world, how many refugee children and elderly people he comforted, how many people in this community came to love him.
Red and I have witnessed the death of hundreds of people over his time with me, and the severe illness of many others. I often wished that a humane culture would make it easier for people to die in peace and comfort, or the way that they wished to die.
We don’t seem able to do that for the people we love, but we can do it for our dogs and animals. I’m glad to be able to do it for Red.
He has meant the world to me, my constant companion and shadow and friend. I don’t wish this to be a eulogy, just a preparation.
I appreciate your good wishes. Please don’t mourn for me or feel sorry for me, Red has been a joy and miracle to me from the minute we came together, and I am overcome with gratitude for my time with him.
I am of course sad, but not in shadow. I am well prepared for his death, it’s been coming a long time, and I’ve written about it as honestly and openly as I can, which is how I deal with things like this.
I am nothing but lucky to have had a dog like this, and I will not turn his life into misery, or a narcissistic journey into self-pity and mourning. No dog could have been a better dog for me, no dog could have had a better life than he had. That is a good place for me to leave it.
We shall all end, and I accept and respect life. Everyone reading this has lost a dog, and probably a human as well, that they love. I don’t have a patent on any kind of grief.
I am not sorry for me, neither is Red sorry for me or for himself. It’s not something I need or want, there is no reason to be anything but happy about a dog like this or the life he had. For me, the death of a great dog is never a reason to never have another dog. In fact, it is a reason to get one.
I don’t know what I will do about that.
I promised Red and me that I would not permit him to suffer, and in the past week, it has become clear that he is suffering. He can no longer get in or out of the car, and it is painful for him to stand up or sit down.
Red is a stoic like so many border collies, but his pain is evident. Even he cannot get comfortable.
It’s enough.
He’s ready, I’m ready.
I want him to leave the world before he suffers too deeply or too much, as his steward, that is my responsibility. He has no life now beyond eating small amounts of good. A great working dog, he is unable to work, or even walk more than a few feet.
I do not accept the notion that dogs will tell us when they want to die, it’s my job to speak for him and prevent his suffering. It’s the last favor I can do him, a creature who has done so much service for me.
I can’t imagine life without him sitting next to me while I write, riding with me everywhere I go or working with me in the pasture, the Mansion, Bishop Maginn School.
I’m sure I’ll have more to say next week, but that’s enough for now, I need to gather myself and think all of this through. The hard part is over, I know what to do now. I do not favor nostalgia, I won’t be looking back, but forward.
I’m lucky to have a vet like Dr. Suzanne Fariello who has done such a wonderful job of keeping Red mobile and comfortable well beyond my expectations.
Her acupuncture treatments have helped him tremendously.
I’m so grateful for my time with him.
Maria and I are in full accord, and so is Dr. Fariello. It’s Red time and I am determined to make his last few days loving and comfortable and to help him leave us in dignity and comfort.
And gratitude, always gratitude. For all of you as well, so many of you have loved Red as much as I have, he always traveled with countless surrogates and angels at his side.
I honestly believe that he knows that, and has drawn strength from it. Red always loved to be loved.
Our hearts go with you, Maria, and Red as you help him to complete his final journey. We’ll be thinking of you all over the weekend.
At the end of dogs life, however long it is, I have always believed that that time is a gift to us. We are so fortunate to get to share our lives with our dogs. And if they can say they’ve been loved and cared for and had good lives, then what more can anyone wish for?
Thank you for sharing Red with all of us.
Godspeed Red.
Sending love and hugs,
Becca
thank you jon for speaking of honoring a great love; may your grief be as swift as red’s departure and the arrival of his replacement
I will be thinking of you all on Monday. Enjoy these last days with Red.
I helped my German Shepherd, Brandi, cross over back in February. She was three months shy of her 16th birthday. She was my search and rescue partner. We worked as a team for many years, looking for lost people, before she was forced to retire. But she continued to be my constant companion and my love. She left this world at home and on her favorite bed, surrounded by love. I still miss her like crazy.
Thank you for taking such good care of Red, from beginning to end. Peace to you.
Well said! Light and love in these last days!
I sit here with my two Golden Girls at my feet with tears streaming. My dogs are therapy dogs also for children with cancer. I wish you peace in your decision for Red and I perfectly understand how you came to this . I am a retired Oncology nurse so held the hand of many patients as they passed into another life and wished many times I could have made that passage easier for them. Thankfully you can make this decision for Red. Best wishes to you all!
Thank you for sharing Red with us, so openly and honestly. May he enjoy the time he has left with you. What a good dog.
Red, you have lived a quietly noble life. I celebrate the time you were with Jon. You were and are loved and as with any special friend, you will not be forgotten. Run across that bridge and be healthy and whole again. From one of your adoring fans…
I am glad you have written this. So many people have a skewed vision of pet death. I, too, live on a farm and know that animals die and that are their stewards. They deserve to die with dignity, not kept alive for their humans. I am sure you will get a huge emotional response to this, but you have made the right decision.
Beautifully written Jon.
I celebrate a life well lived. Rest well Red.
I was so afraid of this momment! But my prayers are with you and Maria and with dear Red.
I knew this was coming and I totally agree with your decision. I will be thinking of you, Maria and Red and hope your last days together are full. Good bye Red.
Good job, John. Red, say hi to all my cats, especially Nubby. Good boy, Red.
I think letting go when the time has come is the last, and one of the most important, gifts we can give our dogs. Thank you for sharing this, and peace to you all. Red is a good dog in every sense of the word.
On Monday, even 3 hours time difference, I will hold you all positively in my thoughts and smile for all that reading about Red has meant to me these last few years, Jon. Thank you for sharing him and the relationship you’ve had with the world!
Dear Jon:
Not that you need anyone’s approval/disapproval, I wholeheartedly agree with your course of action. Those of us who have walked down that path, for the exact same reason, know how you struggled with the final decision until you really realized that he wasn’t going to go naturally quickly; you had to help him. I don’t feel sorry for you, but I do want to give my condolences for the void that you, Maria, Fate and the Little King, will feel in your lives, in your hearts and in your souls. Somehow, I think Red will always be around, one way or another.
Jon, I won’t deny it- reading this makes me sad, I sensed this time was near. But, seeing the great love, admiration and respect the two of you have shared not only with each other but with all of your readers, has been a joy and an inspiration. The work you both have done is remarkable. What better way to celebrate this than to help your dear companion depart peacefully. Sending some *angel* love to Red and to you as well
Susan M
What a lucky pair you are to have found each other. A loving decision like this is difficult, but needed. Thanks so much for sharing your journeys with us. Much love to you, Red & Maria.
you are a good friend.
Thank you for sharing your stories of Red and you with us.
Hugs
I read your post with sadness, but know that you’ve given him a wonderful life and him, you. May your heart be filled with peace….journey on Red…
Hi Jon-
I just wanted to say that I recently had to put down my rather young terminally ill cat. I had never had such a close bond with an animal before. What some may call a Soul Dog/Cat I suppose. It was incredibly hard but your writings helped me TREMENDOUSLY. Particularly reading about how you dealt with Gus. You’re one of the only people who is able to get to the crux of the pet/owner relationship without leaning on sentiment or anthropomorphized traits that don’t help the animal in question. I knew that it was my responsibility to make sure my pet only lived her best life and didn’t suffer just so I could keep her around longer.
Like this line from the post above – “I do not accept the notion that dogs will tell us when they want to die, it’s my job to speak for him and prevent his suffering. It’s the last favor I can do him, a creature who has done so much service for me.”
It’s so important and helpful and meaningful to remember things like that.
Your relationship with Red is a pet/owner relationship to aspire to and you are so very lucky to have had him in your life.
I will be donating to your Army of Good soon in honor of Red and my pet as well.
Thanks for all your writings.
Sincerely,
Nicole
It is the right decision. God speed Red. Green pastures await you.
I will be keeping you all close in my thoughts. We share our love.
Good dog, Red. Good dog.
If any dog deserves to come back as a man it is Red – or maybe he is past that….thank you, Jon, for sharing not only Red with us, but also Izzy and all the others. Blessings to you and Red.
My heart reaches out to you for the love and work that you and Red shared. You have done well by your faithful dog and this decision is a reflection of that loving care. I know it makes me sad but also glad that Red has been in the care of someone who can make this decision, necessary decision for Red to not suffer anymore. Your stories about him will be missed. Like many others, I’ve had to make that decision.
Never gets easy, even if a long time coming. Thank you for sharing your lives with us over the years.
Thank you for sharing Red with all of us. He is a true inspiration and a very special dog. I have always felt it to be our ultimate gift of love and stewardship to let them go but also the hardest one. They give us so much it is the least we can do for them. I will keep you all in my thoughts.
You have been a wonderful owner if Red, giving him the most wonderful life. We wish we could keep them with us forever, but we can’t and you’re wise to know when it’s his time. My thoughts will be with you all. Keep Bud close, too; he’ll miss Red for a while.
Beautiful words, nothing to add, John. You two are a great pair together and a great example for us all. You have those wonderful memories when you think about your Red.
What a wonderful blessing Red has been to you and so many others. I love and appreciate your post. Relieving a dog of pain is truly a final gift to them. I will be thinking of you, Maria and Red on Monday. Blessings, P J Polley
Knowing this was coming, sooner than later, I was still shocked, pained, saddened, then accepting of this. Everyone else has echoed how I feel about Red and your stewardship with him. I dont know that I could wait until Monday once I had made this decision. But in the end Red is your dog. Thank you for sharing him with us. Truly a remarkable creature.
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