19 November

The Death Of Scott: Love And Grief in California

by Jon Katz
 I wrote about Janet Hamilton and her wonderful blog just over the weekend. When she sent an e-mail asking me to call her early Thursday, I knew something was wrong. Janet’s long and hard journey is far from over.
She told me Scott, her friend, lover, and soulmate was dead.
Janet is the author of the blog As The Road Wanders,   a powerful chronicle of her journey through California through fire and pandemic. She wrote this on her blog a few minutes ago.
She wanted to share the news with you, she loves the messages she got after I wrote about her.  She would welcome your messages, although I don’t know if she can answer all of them. You can e-mail her on her blog.
Janet is one of the most spiritually strong people that I know, and I wish her strength. If a great big heart can get a human being through this, she will be fine.
On Tuesday evening, by my side, in our forest home, my best friend, my soul mate, my protector, my guide and teacher, my equal, my everything, died from a sudden heart attack.
   I met Scott when I was 52 years old and I knew he was the love of my life, the first day I met him.  I had been searching for him my entire life. I was so grateful and excited I had found him, never imagining I would meet up with him in this life at so late an age.
   The day before he died, he told me he was going to live until 105 so we could have the next fifty years together. I told him I thought I could go until my 90’s.  
  We didn’t know we only had one more day.
    Scott taught me so much about life and love. And what the important things were and made sure to remind me of them, every day, throughout the day.”
I miss him. I want him back. I want to be with him. The grief I am going through is so intense, I didn’t know there was any such thing as this kind of pain.  I don’t know how I am going to complete this journey on my own.  I know Scott is with me.  And I will move forward one moment at a time like he taught me.”
I never got to meet Scott, but we both wanted to get to know the other. We e-mailed for awhile. He was everything to Janet.
He and Janet planned to come to our last Open House, but they couldn’t make it.
Much love and peace to you, Janet, and to you too Scott. Life challenges me to have hope and faith and to embrace and accept life’s crisis and mystery.
Later in the day, Janet asked if Maria and I would consider naming our new lamb after him.
We did, of course.
She’ll get to follow our Scott through his life. She believes her Scott would have loved that.


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