This post and these flowers are dedicated to two caretakers, three dying mothers, and two dying fathers. They all take comfort in some of my photos, which have startled, bewildered, and challenged me.
The gurus I read all say there is no point worrying about the future since it is unpredictable, but I suggest people focus on the now.
I have found this accurate since nothing in my life was predictable or imaginable, even ten years ago. I never imagined Maria or moving my writing entirely to my blog. I never imagined taking pictures of flowers; I never imagined that anyone would love my flower photos so much that they would ask me to keep posting them because they are watching their parents die or that their mothers and fathers asked to see my flower photos every day as they lie dying in homes and hospice centers preparing to leave the world.
I understand that the need is not for me but for the flowers, which seem to have powerful, calming, and soothing qualities. In recent months, I’ve received requests almost daily for the children of sick and older parents or grandparents to keep my flower photos coming. It helps them, and often, it allows the dying as well.
I have one thing I need to say: I am no priest, rabbi, prophet, or healer. These photos come from deep inside of me, and I have no pretense of being a wise man with answers about life. I am a pilgrim seeking my own truth and meaning. I have no pretensions beyond that. Yet, as a hospice volunteer, I know the value and beautiful sadness of helping people leave the world.
And if my flowers help, bless them. I never imagined that. I dedicated them to the last fives messages I’ve received about their power to comfort.
This was the latest message I got; it was this morning:
“Jon,
Thank you so much for your excellent blog and all the beautiful pictures you share. My mom is dying, and reading your blog and seeing all your beautiful pictures is helping me make it through each day in this new chapter, Charlane”
I’ve wondered how to respond to these moving responses and humbling requests for more. I can’t answer each one individually and wouldn’t wish to; I need more time and the desire to do that full-time.
People ask me to keep posting the photos as often as possible. I post them daily, a clear and powerful way to use my flowers in a valuable, even precious, way. I am humbled beyond words. As a hospice volunteer and spiritual pilgrim, there is nothing more meaningful than comforting people while watching their loved ones decline or die. And also brings relief and hope to the sick around them.
Flowers are not morbid or depressing for me; I am learning how important they are in my emotional life. Something appears in the photos themselves. They certainly light me up, and I am beginning to understand—and to use—my flowers in that way.
“Please keep posting those flowers as often as possible,” Grant wrote me the other day, “I show them to my father every day; he is in hospice and near the end. He always asks me to tape them to the wall above his bed; he looks at them every morning when he wakes up. He says it keeps him peaceful and unafraid. Me too, “Grant, “Please keep them coming.
What is one of the happiest flowers in my experience? Sunflowers: Sunflowers are bright yellow and cheerful. The color yellow is said to make people feel happy and spontaneous. I always smile when I see one.
Of course, I’ll keep taking photos, deeply affected by the requests. I won’t approach pictures only this way; I love experimenting with and smiling with them. But I will be grateful every day that they are bringing a lot of comfort to many people. I can’t wait to see what is inside there for me. Maria says a lot is coming.
I don’t take my flower photos consciously. I see a color and hit the shutter.
I’m happy people use them this way; I’m also glad that people enjoy the colors; they do not need a happy or deep meaning. I will keep doing it just as I’ve been, spontaneously and experimentally. I always need to find out where I’m going. I have a lot to learn, and humility is everything. The minute I think I’ve got it, I will lose it. My favorite words are “I don’t know,” words lost on Facebook or social media. If I lose them, I’m done.
As some of you know, I’ve begun studying color philosophy. I am surprised to see that I love the same colors in flowers that the researchers recommend for the depressed or fearful, terminally ill, or dying. I see they have meaning beyond me.
These flowers help me to be calm, at peace, and without fear. I never imagined a flower could do this, but I see it daily. When choosing flower photos for someone who is dying, they say to opt for images of soft, light-colored flowers like white lilies, white roses, pink roses, or delicate blooms like baby’s breath as they symbolize peace, serenity, and purity, which can be comforting during a difficult time; I would avoid overly vibrant or bright colors that might feel jarring.
I never imagined that I might be taking flower photographs that might touch people in this way. Life is full of crisis and mystery. I will never again be afraid of the future, and I am still determining what it might bring. I close my eyes and jump.
It is moving to know just how deeply your photos can impact peoples lives. You do more good than I believe you give yourself credit for……..but the love and spirit of your heart makes it so.
Susan M
I love your flower pics. and always save many. The past 2 weeks they have helped in a different way. going thru the process of labor/giving birth is difficult but nothing compared to the pain of heartbreak of your adult child losing their spouse of 16+ years.. a long with the deep grief I feeling for losing a great friend, wonderful son in-law, is knowing my son is deeply grieving. all I can do is be there for him in any way he needs me. Your pic. of the liys against the backdrop of snow is esp. meaningful. Daylilies are very familiar to them. so is the snow as their home is in CO. I’m thinking of having it framed, with your name at the bottom corner because you are a true artist. I would keep one here and send one to my son. I feel deeply that it would that it would be of great comfort to us. I know you have said to feel free to use your pics. but wanted to share with you what I would like to do. P.s. I simply cannot speak of him in the past tense yet. We were very blessed to have one last phone conversation shortly before his passing. He called me mom and I was moved to tears the very 1st. he did that many years ago.
A lovely, and uplifting, post today. Keep on doing what you do as life presents its twists and turns.
Jon,
I have enjoyed your blog since the very beginning. I always shared your photos with my mother of Simon and Red and continued through the years with all the animals and Maria’s art, but when you started posting your flower photos my mom just fell in love with them. She recently passed away 7 weeks ago of dementia and alzheimers. We started every morning looking at your beautiful photos and it always made her smile. I loved that I could share something together with my mom everyday as beautiful as your photos. I know I’ve told you this once before a few years ago but since you mentioned it here. I wanted to thank you again.
Wendy
Thank Wendy sorry about your mom your message means a lot to me Jon